OldDogNewTits











{December 9, 2011}   ‘Twas a Week since my Surg’ry

‘Twas a week since my surg’ry
To take out the mass
I still can’t believe
It all happened so fast

We started out chatting
And blogging ’bout boobs
Yet somehow this week
We’re onto chest tubes

We’ve learned about mole rats
The kind with no fur
And we’ve all guessed which boobs
Go with him or with her

We’ve met lots of doctors
Who all aim to please
Some say just a lift
Some say double Ds

If you go with an implant
Then, you’ll need to choose
‘Tween saline and silicone
With both you can’t lose

But you’re not done yet
Now you must decide
If it’s under or over
the muscle inside

The scars, anesthesia,
The risks and the price
It all made my head spin
This roll of the dice

And we found a lump
in my breast on the way
But learned it was nothing
Hip-freakin’-hurray!

Then later an x-ray
Revealed a round mass
Attached to my lung
And we struck an impasse

So a CAT scan, a spec’list,
A loud MRI
Soon gave us to know
that a surg’ry was nigh

So I dealt with my fears
And I packed up my stuff
And I went to the hospital
‘Cause I’d had enough!

Through IVs and catheters
Chills and Code Red
I came out of it all
I’m now home in my bed

My right side’s still achy
It hurts when I cough
So I’ll rest, write & e-shop
Hey, look! That’s half-off!

My friends were amazing
My family divine
But the best thing of all
was to hear “It’s benign.”

————————————————————————————————————————-

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The best Christmas present of all.



Heather says:

Can you hear me laughing? Love it! Would love to share with the boy, whose English class is doing a poetry rotation (which he actually really likes!), but think he might not ever be able to look his Marraine in the eyes. He’d be too busy looking at the “girls” or trying to imagine where the ping pong ball was :-))) I guess I will instead tuck him in with the original Night Before Christmas instead of the Bulbous Mass Before Boobs.



Wish I had a witty rhyme to come back, but I don’t so…woohoo! That’s awesome!



Anne says:

Either you’re feeling better, or you’ve got great drugs. Either way, that is fabulous!



[...] Old Dog New Tits. She started off contemplating a breast job and went to dealing with a lung mass with a lot of honesty and humor. And naked mole rats. You can find hte mole rat entries on your [...]



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