OldDogNewTits











{January 5, 2012}   A Year-End Report on ODNT – even though we just launched in late August

As ODNT is still very young, I’m continuing to learn the ins and out of this WordPress software that houses our little blog, which recently turned four months old. My kids were neither sleeping through the night nor eating solid foods (perhaps those two were related?) at that point so I’m still calling this stage the infancy of this blog.

Anyway, while we haven’t quite lifted our big, bulbous baby heads off the floor yet or started babbling (yeah, actually, I’ve done my share of that, haven’t I?), we have hit a lot of nice little milestones around here. And I thought I’d share some of the more interesting findings I came across in the end of the year report provided to me by WordPress about our new baby, ODNT.

Since its inception on 8/22/11 – we have gotten more than 18, 350 hits. No, I have no idea how that compares to anything …. but it sure sounds good to me!

The busiest day of the year for viewership was December 2, right after my surgery was completed. (Sniff. Thanks, Y’all.)

The most viewed posts of the year were Shall We Play a Game?, Prologue, How about Another Game – Let’s Play Boobs Around the World, The Pathology Report is In and Boobs + Mean Girl Barbies + Naked Mole Rats = Versatile Blogger.

The most commented on post of the year was Shall We Play a Game? Across the board, we heard from people hailing from 6 of the 7 continents. I’m excusing Antarctica as I imagine it’s very difficult to type with frostbitten appendages. But, to everyone else, I’m asking you to make it a resolution to SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH ME IN 2012! There’s nothing I like better than seeing a new comment on one of my postings. Okay, well maybe my kids … or cheese … or a masseuse who genuinely understands the meaning of ‘deep tissue’ massage … but you get the point.

I want to thank most sincerely the biggest referrers to ODNT:

The ten most popular searches for this blog (and I am omitting the endless results using the words “tits,” “boobs” or “breasts” in them – Sheesh!) are listed below:

(1) Norma StitzTechnically, this one is boob-related … but the search didn’t include any of the above words. Because people know this woman … by name! Plus, I got like a ka-billion hits thanks to her famous attributes so I thought she earned the title spot here.

(2) Don’t you think that’s some information I would like to know? - If you haven’t seen this AT&T commercial, turn on your damned TV, you high-browed hippies. My family and I think it’s funny enough that we weave into almost as many conversations as Seinfeld references. And I managed to work it into two blog posts so when you google it, I’m second up.

(3) 50/50, the movie - I wrote a simple little movie review for this film when I caught it with my friend, Kelley, a while back. Sure bought me a lot of traffic. Good movie, too, if you don’t mind a little Seth Rogen playing Seth Rogen.

(4) Royal Bitch/Sweet Bitch/Sassy Bitch wine – I guess you just can’t beat a wine label with a bitch-slapping, bad ass name. Wait, that could be the label on my bottle ….

(5) Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time/BAND-AIDWhat can I say? A child of the 80s writes the post she’s been wanting to write for decades. And, apparently, the world still loves the old song as much as she does.

(6) On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me funny sayings - Gosh, I hope my post lived up to their ‘funny’ expectations.

(7) The Ultimate Wedding DressHoly crap! How disappointed do you think these brides-to-be were when they saw my sweet girl’s real-cherry-pits-sewn-into-the-ruffle design. Or wait! Maybe I should have attached a sizing chart and order form!

(8) Humor family comment or blog - Yay! My name came up. But … oh, God … the pressure! And it was probably one of those days that I wrote a “very special episode of ODNT.” Sigh.

(9) How to get hair dye out of pillowcasesDouble crap! My post only talks about creating the stain. There’s no assistance offered in removing it. I’m picturing some pretty pissed off redheads right about now.

(10) The Mass on my LungWell, here’s one of the few places where my musings might have actually helped someone. Here’s hoping they did.

And one more … to grow on …

Wrinkly, small penisYou had to see this one coming, right? Can you imagine the reactions of these googlers when they were … mistakenly … introduced to my little friend, the naked mole rat? I still can’t believe ‘naked mole rat’ wasn’t among the search terms. I need to get those little weasels on the map!

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El Guapo says:

I am shocked and saddened that there is a whole segment of the population titillated (see what I did there?) by the naked mole rat.
A little disturbed too…
Don’t let it go to your head! (or breasts!) And keep on posting – you’re stories are great!



This blog is hysterical and hits close to home at times for me – Im glad I found it – in the totally bizarro, unexpectedly ironic, and I think you would agree – interestingly right timed, manner of discovery (when you posted about “it” – did you ever name it? – being benign)…..thanks for letting me follow along…

You’re blog has actually inspired me to make my resolution this year to blog every day as well. I used to blog, and it started out as a happy blog, but as things started to get nuts around here, it turned more into an informational blog about autism, and advocacy and stuff. So now I make it a point to write something irreverent and fun….Its good to get back to writing for fun and not for purpose!



Thanks. I promise to check in with your new project soon, too.



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