OldDogNewTits











{January 14, 2012}   A letter to the New Orleans Saints before today’s big game

Dear Saints,

Today, I am attending a party in your honor. I will be watching the game, cheering you on with a great group of friends. I am ordering a party tray of food. And, in addition to the rest of the city, I will actually be wearing clothing inspired by your team.

We all know this stuff doesn’t happen every day with me. And I take a lot of ribbing about my spazzy (What? Well, then it should be a word! Are we all still using ‘explevatory?’) knowledge of football and whatever it is you guys are doing out there. The entire city is really counting on you. My sweet, moon-hanging son is counting on you. Ellen DeGeneres is counting on you. And, damn it, I am counting on you.

So, please don’t let me down.

Plain and simple. Not while I’m sitting there wearing a Saints jersey and everything. People in these parts were already pretty let down by the performance of another home favorite earlier this week. And they could really use something to lift them out of that funk. And me? Well, I could use seeing that unbridled glee I remember seeing on my son’s face two years ago. Not to mention on the faces of everyone else I know. Including mine.

You guys have what it takes to go all the way again. And every point you score, every yard you gain, every pass you complete and just about every move you make gets us all one step closer to that big game on Sunday. Just think. You could get a trip to Indianapolis and score yourselves another nice, new piece of jewelry for your collection. Yes, I said collection. ‘Cause I’m hoping there’s lots more to follow.

You’ve done so much for my hometown, at a time when we needed it most. No matter what happens, thanks for that. Of course, I’d rather be thanking you late on February 5. That rush was incredible two years ago, wasn’t it? So, allow me to give you a little pre-game advice. Please listen today whenever the coach is talking to you. Have a good breakfast and make sure to empty your bladders before you head out on the field. Keep your cleats laced up tightly at all times and don’t fidget with your uniforms. If you don’t know where to go or you get lost today, ask someone for help. And always remember to have fun.

What? I never said I was Knute Rockne. I’m a mom … with a heart very much in the right place. Which I think for most of the city means in our throats right about now.

See you on the other side of today’s game, guys. When that heart of mine is bursting with pride back in my chest where it belongs.

Michele

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El Guapo says:

Not a football fan, so I got nothing to contribute. If it were spelunking though…



We’re watching! I would love to see your Saints win, then that other NY team win…then they would match up next week…and your team win….

And by the way – I am totally considering creating a simulcast “Football for Women” which would have female (and gay guys if they would like to join in) commentating on the events of the game, from the most important perspectives and in terms non footbally people would understand, i.e. the big man with the tattooed arms has to block the other guy on the team with the long hair, or, they need to take the ball and run past the yellow line on the field (how do they get that line to move all the time???), and how some uniforms look better than others, and which guys are cuter than the others….so yes, “Football for Women”….I think it would catch on…



HAHAHA – Ok…well….I should warn you….when I get excited about things, my Long Island (Lawng I-land) accent gets a bit strong – LOLOL



JD says:

Aw, ODNT, sorry it didn’t go your way. Want to root for the Pats with me?



Kt says:

AbsOlutely love it. I was feeling uninspired as a Steelers fan but you just got me back in the game.



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