OldDogNewTits












Today’s Weight … 122.0

Pshhhhh.  I laugh at you, two tenths of a pound.  You will not deter me.

Don’t get it? Check this post.

It seems that everything I need to do lately needs to be done … “by tomorrow!” I’m forgetting so very much these days.  Stress? Mom brain? Old age? The formaldehyde in my nail polish?  Who knows?  But since I just learned that our Girl Scout cookie order form is due the day after tomorrow, I sent this email out today.  If you happen to live in my area and are actually interested in ordering some overpriced treats (now with no trans fats!), let me know.  Otherwise, you can just enjoy reading the last minute pitch of a desperate and tired woman.

Dear (unfortunate soul selected from my personal email database for this hapless sales effort because you live nearby and I don’t think you have a girl scout in your close circles),

This is the weakest sales pitch you will ever receive.

My girl is selling Girl Scout cookies.  Again.
And I’m helping.  Again.
The boxes are $3.50 each. If you want some, please let me know as soon as you can.  Here are your cookie choices -
  • Savannah Smiles (like Lemon Coolers)
  • Trefoils (shortbread)
  • Do-Si-Dos (sandwich peanut butter)
  • Samoas (caramel coconut)
  • Dulce de Leche (with milk chocolate chips)
  • Thank You Berry Much (taste like Pop Tarts to me)
  • Tagalongs (chocolate peanut butter)
  • Thin Mints (unless you live under a rock, you know what they are)

If you live nearby, we’ll deliver them to you.  And we almost never remember to collect any money, so we’re really the best deal in town. Also, if you don’t want any cookies or just want to ignore my email, no sweat.  Two minutes after I hit send on this message, the phone will probably ring and I’ll take the call and one of the kids will run in needing something from me “immediately” while I’m talking and the buzzer to whatever I’m cooking on the stove will go off just as it’s beginning to boil over and I will completely forget I even sent this email. I think I hear the phone now …
So far, we’ve sold thirty boxes … which is nothing in the scoutly world of patch-earning, but it’s not bad for two hours without leaving the house.  I’m expecting great things and will, of course, keep you posted …. as I know this kind of information propels you merrily through your day. Which is really why I am here.

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Don’t get it? Check this post.

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