OldDogNewTits











{May 19, 2012}   Here she is … MY BIG FAT (DAIRY-RELATED) SECRET!

Haven’t kept up with the ODNT Kleinpeter Dairy Chronicles? These links should get you up to speed.

Today’s post is in reply to my last letter to Mr. Kleinpeter posted yesterday on ODNT.

Dear Michele,

WOW!! You guys are borderline insane!!

I feel right at home with all of this … and where in the world did someone find the old Kleinpeter commercial???

The girl who did the voice over, way back then, is now our Marketing Consultant!!! I sent this to her, and she is going to have a calf!!!

Two things really stuck out in my mind:

One – Why does organic milk last so long? Because it is heated up to a really high temperature (ultrapasteurized). Makes the milk last for 3 months. Why?  So they can transport it across the country from the manufacturer to the customer. Disadvantage? Unfortunately, it alters the milk protein structure such that the milk passes through the small intestine and is not absorbed there, which is counterproductive to good health. Organic, healthy. Ultrapasteurized, unhealthy. Why do they do this to organic milk? The cows are in California so they can’t get the milk to you still in date without doing it. Ugh.

Two – And MOST important!! Someone suggested us naming a Kleinpeter Calf after you, Michele. Well, here it is!! Michele was born on 5/8 and is a beautiful young Holstein calf, female of course. We don’t put the actual ear tag in for another 2 months because their ears are so tender at this age.

And, yes, we do name every calf born at Kleinpeter Farms. We have 1,300 cows there, and they are not “just” numbers to us. They all have awesome names, like “Michele” now.

How about that??

Jeff

Jeff Kleinpeter
President
Kleinpeter Farms Dairy, L.L.C.

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You guys, I have a COW named after me!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

That’s way better than Acupuncturist, Televangelist, Global Inter-Office Specialized Communications Manager or any of the other crap I was going to try to pull off at my reunion tonight.

Thanks, Mr. K. You made my week. Oh, and my daughter wants to meet the calf. So, don’t go doing anything crazy with her. I guess at a DAIRY farm a cow is pretty safe … for a while.

Gosh, I hope it doesn’t get too confusing with two Micheles around here. Tell you what. From now on, when you write in to the blog, please be sure to specify whether you are addressing HUMAN Michele or BOVINE Michele. Otherwise, it could get preeeeeetty awkward.

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OMG IM SO JEALOUS – I MEAN – HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! HAHAHAHAHA – I actually think that was my suggestion! LOLOL.

Now the kicker is – when she “retires”, she has to come live with you….And any boy babies she pops out….they need to come live with you too….that would make them your grand cows, right?

Time to build a barn! LOLOLOLOL



OMG How perfect – that add on your page is for a run in clearance sale!!!! LOLOL – Click for Free Price Quote!!! HAHAHAHAHA



I’m still learning how this stuff works. Where’s my check??? :)



Now Im getting horse barn designs LOL – Get yourself some pasture – Karma is telling you something…or its just the cookies on my machine that are looking at past websites I have been to and redirecting your google ad services to things I would be interested in LOLOL….

Maybe Karma is telling me something! Cows! OMG my husband would kill me…



Mel says:

What a precious face. Mr.K is one cool dude.



Kelly says:

So I guess the Old Gal really did get New Teats…



NewCowNewTeats … there you go. :)



k~ says:

This is too much fun. All of this started with a letter to a man who runs a dairy. Way to go for including your audience in one of the best stories evah! :-)
Bovine Michelle… Michelle… too much fun!



Gigi says:

And they even spelled “Michele” correctly !!! I love that cow !!!



El Guapo says:

This is exactly how the internet was meant to be used!
Rock on ODNT!



John says:

I’m jealous.



Well, of COURSE you are … cow lover.



kelleysbreakroom says:

This is soooo hilarious! I just read your original letter, too. I love that you posted it and he wrote back and it kept going. This awesome and so funny! Ha! Thanks for linking up with us over at #findingthefunny!



That is hilarious. This whole SAGA is hilarious. These people sound like my kind of folks. Milk copywriting. Wow. That’s funny stuff!



Lucky!
So now when you have company over and they have a glass of milk, you can just say “Oh yeah that’s my milk!” The reactions will be priceless.



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