OldDogNewTits











{December 12, 2012}   The Baby Food Diet – Wrap-Up!

Before you read the post below, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND reading the following posts first.

And, by “highly recommend,” I mean you’re not going to know what the snot I’m talking about unless you do. Don’t worry. They’re not long. I’m mostly illiterate.

A Quick Explanation of my Shenanigans

The Daily Journals … Day OneDay TwoDay ThreeDay FourDay Five

* * * * * * * * * *

Today’s Weight – 117.3

I am somewhere between 5’3″ and 5’4.” I am not a crazy person. Well, mostly not a crazy person. I would love to be 115 pounds for Christmas. Do I expect to reach that goal during this five-day experiment? Probably not. I’m weak and it’s only five days. Still, I figured any weight I could shave off BEFORE the onslaught of holiday gluttony is a good thing, right? Of course right.

I just made myself laugh. (That happens more than it probably should.) I was writing today’s wrap-up and creating a link to yesterday’s post. And I entered the same codes I’ve been using every day. For example, yesterday’s installment entitled “Baby Food Diet – Day 5″ would be abbreviated to “BFD – Day 5.” B – F – D. Baby Food Diet. Of course, that’s not how Urban Dictionary defines it. Their interpretation is a little different. A little stronger …

Big … F(hi, Mom!)ucking … Deal

I like the parallel meanings for the acronym. And I think they both apply here. Because it is a pretty BFD that I managed to stick to the BFD for five straight days with no cheating. I really wanted to do it. To see if I could. To challenge myself a little. To laugh at myself a lot. And to write about all of it. So, to close things out properly, I conducted a little interview with myself today. It was tricky getting an appointment with me. I am apparently a very busy person. And I don’t always return my calls. But I finally tracked me down to ask a few questions. Here’s how it went.

Q: Thanks for agreeing to meet with me today on such short notice. Tell us how you heard about the diet. And would you recommend it?

“Well, The Baby Food Diet is one of the crazier get-thin-quick fads to come out of Hollywood. It’s credited to celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson and linked to actresses like Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Lady Gaga and Marcia Cross. And, while I certainly don’t recommend it as a lifestyle, it’s an easy way to drop a few pounds quickly before a big event you might have on the weekend.”

Q: Will you ever do it again?

“Who knows? Maybe … if I ever have three days to fit into a dress or something. Honestly, after the third day, my body adjusted to the lack of salt and sugar, like a Sugar Busters dieter, and I felt fine. I even got to where the food didn’t taste too bad. Except that blasted Macaroni & Cheese. I’m going to have nightmares about that one for a long time.” (insert canned laughter)

Q: How was it going back on real food?

“I was a little nervous about the transition. I didn’t want to jump in too quickly and shock my digestive system. So, oddly enough, the first thing I ate was squash soup. Not my recipe but something I bought from Williams-Sonoma. It’s not a far cry from the stuff I’ve been sustaining myself on for the last five days. Still, there were small bits of garlic in it and the whole thing had plenty of grown-up seasonings … including salt! It didn’t take much to fill me up. And isn’t that sort of the point of a diet?”

Q: And what about your big epicurean feast tonight?

“That question can probably best be answered in picture. So to close out the BFD series, I want to share a photo journal of my evening with the family at Bud’s Broiler, a New Orleans institution since the 1950s. As you can see, I absolutely hated it.” (more canned laughter, mixed with a little booing from a few audience members who don’t get the joke)

20121212-203053.jpg

20121212-203103.jpg

20121212-203120.jpg

20121212-203141.jpg

20121212-212328.jpg

20121212-212525.jpg

20121212-212617.jpg

20121212-212558.jpg

20121212-212926.jpg

That concludes our Baby Food Diet series.

So until the next inspiration of perfect dumbassery hits … Ta-Ta!

20120407-223706.jpg

About these ads


Mel says:

I’ll be honest. I’m a little sad to see the end to these, but am happy you’re eating real food again. :) Congrats!



One never knows when the next crop of foolishness will pop up, Mel. Only next time, YOU should be involved, too!



Enjoyed that, looking forward to the next dumbassery



But what will it be, John? WHAT WILL IT BE?



I’m sure you will come up with something



gene3067 says:

I kept getting this wierd Police sone in my head as I read your post. “A goo-goo-goo. A ga-ga-ga. is all I want to say to you.” I’m impressed that you did the diet complete and you definitely dereseved that hamburger!

Hats off to you. :)



Very appropriate music selection, Gene! It actually makes a lot more sense than the original version. :)



The Hook says:

Freud would have a field day with this one!
As for me, I had a blast! I’m going to have to make time to visit more often, but for now, thank you! Great pics, by the way!



Thanks. Please stop by anytime. The door’s always open. Just don’t let the cat out. :)



The Hook says:

Okay, I’ll do that.



Susan Prior says:

Congrats MIchele! You look fab! I have to disclose that I fell off the wagon on day 4. My mother came up from FL for a surprise visit to go to my daughter’s swim meet and immediately I was in trouble. She did not approve of the BFD and felt that I was not setting a “good example” for my daughter, etc.. We had a rough weekend so, there you go!! The BFD was definitely one of the top 3 dumbass diets I have ever tried! Here’s to 2013 and a whole new year of dumbass diets to try! ;)



Honestly, if you made it to day FOUR, then I am very impressed. Sorry I got you in trouble with your mom. Mine wasn’t wild about it either but I finally convinced her that (a) I was actually probably eating healthier because my diet was so basic and salt/sugar free and … more importantly … (b) it was only for five days. :)



El Guapo says:

I think you should incorporate the baby food into regular meals.
That will keep your family on their toes!

“Mom, this mac and cheese is delicio- OH MY GOD – WHAT WAS THAT?!?”
hehehe



Kim says:

I never knew that was a Hollywood diet! I’m sorry, I don’t think I could take that consistency for more than a day! Did you drink wine with your strained peas?

PS I love the cheese fry action shot!



You’d be surprised what you can do when you commit to writing about something in a public forum every day. :)



[…] everyone keeps touting the benefits of eliminating gluten from my diet. And I figured … if I could eat nothing but baby food for five days … then ditching gluten for the same five (or longer) should be a piece of […]



I read this post while eating pizza – clearly I am not cut out for any diet.



Remember it was only for 5 days. And I did it publicly. VERY publicly. On purpose. That helped.

And I so feel you. If I’d been able to have a third child, his or her name would have been Pizza. Pizza Poche.



[…] days? Really?? Well, that’s how long we went on that Baby Food Diet. And that worked out […]



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

et cetera
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 6,904 other followers

%d bloggers like this: