Remember the email I sent to Nickelodeon last week? If not, click here to read it first. I can’t believe they haven’t responded. And I really can’t believe that I can’t believe it. Big corporations like this one disappoint me all the time. I guess they can’t all be Kleinpeter Dairy Farms, right?
Anyway, I think they underestimate the gum-stuck-to-the-bottom-of-your-shoe-even-after-you-curse-and-scrape-your-foot-repeatedly-on-the-curbishness that is me. Which is why I got out some paper … and an envelope … and a stamp for round two. It was exHAUSTing! And I wrote a letter and gave it to my MAILMAN!
Remember … this letter was printed on actual paper and will be driven from New Orleans to NYC in a truck with that menacing eagle profile on it. Personally, I prefer their old logo featuring the goofy, androgynous blue guy with the beak.
But, as usual, I digress. Here’s what I sent Nickelodeon today.
March 6, 2013
Nickelodeon / MTV Networks
New York, NY 10036
One week ago today, I emailed your company about a problem I had with one of the (bone-chillingly inappropriate) ads that ran during a Full House episode I was watching on your network with my young daughter. But you ignored me. Following that, I tweeted you about it, ad nauseum. Emphasis on nauseum. But you ignored me. Others who read my email, which I posted on my blog located at http://olddognewtits.com, also tweeted you about your error in judgment. But you ignored them.
For the record, although my above blog link appears here on this paper in blue and would seem like you could click it to view my original Nickelodeon post, you can’t. And do you know why? It’s because you’ve reduced me to SNAIL MAIL. I looked all over the internet for a better email address for your organization. But the general consensus that I found was that you, as a network, mustn’t really want to be in communication with your viewers because the primary method of contact offered for you is by mailman. I guess you think most people won’t take the time to type out a letter, print it, find an envelope and a stamp and then make the arduous journey to an old-fashioned mailbox.
But you underestimated the low-technology that is me, Nickelodeon. Sure, I’m writing you right now from my Mac laptop. But I’m typing just five feet away from one of the two fully operational VCRs still in my home. To tape shows that come into my house via basic (non-digital) cable. I still listen to FM radio in my car. I still use a top-loading washing machine. And I can still write a letter and send it to you by carrier pigeon a proud employee of the USPS.
And, this time, I want an answer.
For your convenience, in addition to this letter, I’ve also enclosed a copy of my original email since you obviously “never saw it.” Why am I still pursuing you? Because, just two nights ago, my daughter had another nightmare. And I’m wondering …
Where were YOU at one o’clock in the morning when she was awake and scared and crying about your crappy ad choice?
In summary, I work from home and can be a real pain in the ass when I’m ignored. Please respond … and tell me WHY you felt this ad was appropriate for child viewing … or that you’re SORRY … or that someone was FIRED. And then send me his or her picture. Remember, I’ll be posting this letter on the blog, too.
Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to represent yourself instead of looking like an oily politician who evades the hard questions?
Michele Robert Poche