What self-respecting writer doesn’t keep up with her demographics? Well … me, for one. But I never claimed to respect myself anyway. Still, it’s been a year since I made the groundbreaking discovery detailed below. And what have I done about it? WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Nothing. I have failed you, Greenland.
The darker the color, the greater the ODNT readership in that territory. Notice the vast white land mass in the top center. Those are my haters in Greenland.
But I won’t rest until I get at least one reader from the 56,370 people living in your 840,000 square miles! (pausing to think) Maybe if I wrote a blog post about the fact that there are only two traffic lights in all of Greenland. … Seriously, when do you guys change the radio station? Or put on lipstick?!!? Wait! Maybe Greenlanders don’t even wear lipstick! You know, being from different cultures and all.
Anyway, as you may recall, I began stalking you as a country/continent/popsicle more than a year ago. Let’s take a look, shall we?
Alright, fine. Maybe I got a little silly. It is, after all, what I do best. Which you would know if you ever bothered to read ODNT!! Just know this. I am a persistent pest of a person. And I really want to hear from someone in Greenland. Anyone! And, once I’ve got something ridiculous in my head, I don’t back down easily. Just ask Alec Baldwin.
In the meantime, I’ll start brushing up on my Greenlandic. I’ve already learned a few useful phrases, such as Qanoq ateqarpit? (What’s your name?), Naak W.C-ii? (Where’s the toilet?) and Umiatsiaasara pullattagaq nimerussanik ulikkaarpoq (My hovercraft is full of eels.)
What? Maybe that happens a lot in Greenland.