OldDogNewTits











{December 12, 2013}   A Murder in Pictures (Sponsored by Hamilton Beach)

Just joining us for the Hamilton Beach Toaster Chronicles? You might want to read these posts first:

* * * * * * * * * *

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First things first. With two identical toasters in the house, I thought it crucial that I irrefutably identify the culprit …

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… and give him one last crack at his job. (A final cigarette seemed so redundant.)

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He did not disappoint. (This photo was taken outside where the smoke forced us to flee.)

* * * * * * * * * *

And then the murder. But how?

* * * * * * * * * *

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Strangling?

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Running down with the car?

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Drowning/electrocution (Can you electrocute a toaster?)

* * * * * * * * * *

I decided on a more humane method.

* * * * * * * * * *

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So I blindfolded the toaster …

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… and myself …

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… AND I DID IT!!!

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Is this what you wanted, Hamilton Beach?

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!!?

* * * * * * * * * *

It is finished.

And now we’ll all just have to go on with our lives and try to pretend nothing … ever  … happened.

(cue ominous music as camera slowly zooms out and screen fades to black)

* * * * * * * * * *

This post was submitted for MamaKat’s writing prompt asking us to “talk about a problem you tackled this week.”

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gene3067 says:

From the prosecutor: “Allow me to introduce exhibit A of this Murder trial…”



Yeah. I guess I shouldn’t have chronicled it all so publicly.



gene3067 says:

Are you kidding? I loved it! To be honest, I was waiting for the shotgun to come out.

Ka-Boom!



If only we were a gun-toting family, Gene … :)



gene3067 says:

What about a nerf with red dye in the sponge?



You had to, or it would have killed you first.



True.



I once destroyed a toaster with my bare hands because it looked at me funny.

Just kidding. It actually hit me first.



Mel says:

I missed the sleepy eye mask thing when you sent the pic. That made me laugh out loud. That…and Milo looking in the bath tub. :)



I love that Milo took such an interest in this project. Then again, he and the old toaster were very close.



MommaFishy says:

You look like Sandra Bullock in that last photo! Basically any movie where she’s overacting…you just captured it with that expression.



I realize that your comment is not actually intended as a compliment but I’ve decided to take it that way. Because she’s pretty. :)



bbutler2013 says:

I hope you gave it a proper burial when all was done. I will miss the toaster chronicles, but life goes on I guess.



Stephanie @smtimmons says:

Toaster #1 sleeps with the fishes.
Leave the scissors, take the cannoli.

I have so many Godfather references…..



mamaslosinit says:

Well that’s ONE (or several) of taking care of your problem! Cheers to new toasters for Christmas you lucky girl!



Woah – that toaster is…toast.



tempestletrope says:

Noooo! The trauma!
I am sort of like you. I have old cats and the same tits.



[…] the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me ten posts on toasters, nine Depp-shared 50s, eight first day pictures, seven hack-my-blog threats, six posts on […]



I am dying! Just dying! This is awesome! I am def putting this on my holiday shopping list-NOT!!!!!



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