OldDogNewTits











{February 19, 2014}   A Letter to Josh Hutcherson from (the Mother of) a Fan

Dear Josh Hutcherson,

Please allow me to introduce myself. I’m Vivien’s mom. That’s all that really matters as far as this letter is concerned. Vivien is my daughter. My only girl. 20140219-125210.jpg

That sweet kid is my BFF. (Tied with my own mom, of course).

Vivien is a happy, spirited 11-year old who loves to sing and dance so much that she can hardly sit still. She LOVES her friends, she LOVES her stuffed animals and she LOVES her Disney & Nickelodeon tween shows. She’s young in years and young at heart. And she’s never had a real crush on anyone.

Until now.

You know where I’m going with this … right, Peeta? We saw Catching Fire at the movie theater FIVE times. Please know that I have never before seen any movie at the theater five times. And I can’t begin to count the number of times she’s watched the first movie now that we own it on DVD. She even read the trilogy multiple times. She loves the storyline. She loves Peeta. And she loves you.

Case in point. Here’s a sampling of her bedroom walls BEFORE you came into the picture.

20140219-122307.jpg And here’s what I’m dealing with NOW. 20140219-122652.jpg

Don’t get me wrong. She loves Jennifer, too. But, clearly, YOU are winning. Over Jennifer AND kittens. (Those poor kittens never stood a chance.)

So why am I writing you? That’s a great question, Josh. I’m glad you asked. Here’s why. Because I need you to keep it together. Like totally together. You’re right in there with Justin, Miley, Demi, Lindsay and so many others who have disappointed me and several million other people by really screwing up.

Calm down. I know what you’re thinking.

“Geez. Lay off, Vivien’s mom. I’m young. Everybody makes mistakes.”

And to that I say,

“Yes, you’re right, Josh. But you’re a role model for kids, specifically MINE. And, frankly, if I hear anything about drug addiction, DUIs or public displays of ‘crazy,’ I can promise you I’m going to be madder than your own mother.

Don’t make me angry, Josh. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”

There’s nothing wrong with keeping it together. Seriously, it’s not “uncool.” (And I’m condescendingly using air quotes here … which is hard because I’m also typing.) The Jonas Brothers, Dakota Fanning and even your lovely co-star Jennifer Lawrence all seem to be keeping themselves out of trouble and keeping it real (or however you guys are saying it these days).

For now, I’m fine with your face on her walls … and her books … and even her earrings. You seem like a sweet guy and I’ve been impressed with your performances in Hunger Games and Catching Fire as well as Bridge to Terabithia and both of the Journey movies. (And, seriously, we deserve points for taking in that second one. More than once.)

Just remember that, along with all of the other Hunger Games and JHutch memorabilia we now have here in the house, we also have one of these little guys.

20140219-124449.jpg

Pocket Josh was one of her Valentine’s presents. (Along with ham, so you were in good company.)

And I’m a native New Orleanian. Do you know about New Orleans, Josh? We’re famous for our hurricanes, our amazing food and our history with a form of black magic called Voodoo. This little action figure would make a nice Voodoo doll, don’t you think?

But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. I’m sure you know better. And I look forward to watching you grow into your adult acting career. Maybe one day Vivien and I will even get to meet you. But only if you keep your promise to me today. You DO promise to behave, right?

Do it now. Make the promise. Until then, I’ll just keep these pins and matches in the drawer next to Pocket Josh.

Sincerely, 

Vivien’s Mom

(aka Michele Robert Poche)

* * * * * * * * * *

Inspired by the MamaKat writing prompt: Share something that made you smile this week. How about the fact that my girl is starting to follow in my footsteps(sniff)

20120407-223706.jpg

Darling Dame
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Stephanie @smtimmons says:

This is now my second favorite post (the first place title still goes to “Hairy in Disney World”. I mean, how can you beat that?). Pocket Josh better watch out!



Thanks. It’s nice to know it was appreciated. :)



El Guapo says:

Even more threatening than that, I wouldn’t want a voodoo doll of me anywhere near an 11 year old who was betrayed!
Hope this letter makes it past his agent.
Before it’s too late!

(Can you voodoo him to just be cast him in My Little Pony movies for the rest of his life? Surely your daughter will get over those…eventually…) ;)



Don’t worry. We have no Guapo dolls around the house. Yet.

But I did just pick up a copy of The Three Amigos that we plan to show the kids for the first time soon. Does that threaten you in any way?



El Guapo says:

I feel a plethora of warmth for that movie choice.
(Even though (sadly) I don’t remember it being a great movie…)



Gigi says:

And, if the voodoo doll doesn’t work, she has a very protective older brother, and dad, and uncle, and grandfather – not to mention hurt-her-and-you’re-dead grandmother – who will be watching.



Again, you had me laughing out loud while reading! Love the voodoo doll bit!



Well, I mailed the letter. To four different physical addresses … just to be safe. Then I tweeted it to about ten different accounts. And Facebooked it.

We’ll see, Josh. We’ll see.



TammieB says:

Pocket Josh…priceless! I dread the day my kid gets there. Luckily I have some time. Maybe you can school me in some of that Voodoo, you know, just in case I need it when my 4 year old turns 11.



mamaslosinit says:

At least your daughter has great taste in men. I have Peeta posters all over my wall too. Join the club missy. ;)



Stephanie @smtimmons says:

I had Lance Bass pictures all over my wall. We all see how THAT worked out for me…..



Kat says:

I love it! So many young stars have gone off the rails and turned from role-models to big hot messes and it’s so sad that we have to have “the talk” with our kids about their idols’ mistakes. Good for you for catching this one while there is still time. Maybe I’ll try a little voodoo myself ;)



Mel says:

You’ve got Voodoo Dolls and Mags (she bites). He won’t mess with success if he knows what’s good for him.



This post is awesome! And I am especially jealous bc you have a Josh Hutcherson doll. Seriously..swoon! I love him! I am with you! I can’t imagine my daughter’s walls in a few years! Dare I think about it!



Ha ha ha!! Well, she has good taste. I won’t say how old I am but JHutch is a cutie! :D



And so far … so good! :)

Thanks for visiting.



[…] to myself, impressed with their promptness and concern. “Hello … AMC? Nickelodeon?? Josh Hutcherson??? You people should take a lesson from Arby’s!” Naturally, I retweeted it. I love […]



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