OldDogNewTits











{June 10, 2014}   FIVE Things You Need to be a Church Lady

My daughter and I are doing a play together again this summer. (Anyone remember last year?) This year’s production is a tribute to the music of Elvis Presley entitled All Shook Up which is set in a conservative, small town in Somewheresville, USA in the 1950s. All of my costumes need to reflect that setting. So I hit the streets (streets = thrift stores) recently with a few fellow cast members to try getting some of these ensembles together. Want to hear about the craziest costume I’ll be wearing?

Well, of course you do.

I’ll even teach you how to mimic the look for yourself at home. Because you know you want to.

20140604-143100-52260128.jpg

1. A dress or skirt set.

Preferably fire-retardant, non-breathable polyester in a pattern previously only reserved for sofas and curtains.

2. Sensible shoes.

They can’t have any style to them whatsoever. And they can’t be something that would aggravate your bunions, corns or hammertoes.

3. A purse, clutched tightly.

To keep things like used tissues, bibles and vials of holy water handy. For when you need to sneeze. Or condemn someone to Hell.

4. A scarf or hat.

Because no proper lady leaves home with her head uncovered.

5. A cane or a walker.

 They can double as weapons when necessary. (It’s often necessary.)

.

Hmmmm. I probably need to start working on my old lady posture. And mannerisms. Oooh, and maybe I’ll get my teeth pulled. Seriously, THAT’S commitment to the character.

Brando Schmando.

.
20140601-155205-57125420.jpg

June is Blog Post by Numbers Month. Wanna play with Mel and me? Just write a “listy-type” post with a number in the title (ex. FOUR Reasons I Love Mayonnaise, SIX Things You Can Do With A Paper Clip). Then link back to us and tweet us about it so we can include you on June 30th in our final list: (Number-Yet-To-Be-Determined) Great Bloggers Who Played the Blog Post by Numbers Game!

Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

 

About these ads


Pulling teeth?!? That would totally be Academy Award worthy! (Isn’t that the one for movies and such? I always get those awards confused.)



gene3067 says:

Pull your teeth? Now isn’t THAT special?



[…] girls (plus my mom) are headed to Memphis to see … you guessed it … Graceland! Because All Shook Up has created Hunka-Hunka-Elvis fever in my house. Plus, you know, I hear they’ve got ducks […]



[…] 11 Tips on Doing a Play With Your Kid 12  of My Favorite Elvis Songs 5 Things You Need to be a Church Lady […]



[…] 11 Tips on Doing a Play With Your Kid 12  of My Favorite Elvis Songs 5 Things You Need to be a Church Lady […]



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

et cetera
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 6,670 other followers

%d bloggers like this: