OldDogNewTits












It’s time for Ketchup With Us. Hosted by Mel and me on the 1st & 15th each month, our link-up gives you TWO ways to play: (A) Write about anything for 10 minutes OR (B) Link up an old post. Or both!

* * * * * * * * * *

Eight days?!!? Gosh, has it really been eight days since I last wrote something for the blog? Shame on me. Well, except I can’t take all the blame. Because I was, as they say, at sea for an extended period of time. Overeating, overdrinking (but only one day), oversunning and overworrying about my kids who ran amuck on that ship like they were a couple of college kids.

We had a great time. All eleven of us. (We like to travel in throngs.) And I’m just now starting to catch up on my sleep. So I wanted to take a minute (ten to be exact) to share a few points of interest from my most recent cruising experience.

(1) If you’re going to sing a song karaoke-style, take some time to choose your selection wisely. And think about the original person who performed it. If you can’t hit every note in the shower, then you sure as hell can’t hit it in front of a room full of people. I’m still shaking my head at my own stupidity. Sheena Easton. What was I thinking?!!?

(2) The Mayan Ruins in July? If I wouldn’t take on an activity during the summer months in my home city of New Orleans, then I certainly shouldn’t be trying to do it in Mexico. It’s 651 miles CLOSER TO THE EQUATOR.

(3) Just because the catamaran crew says I can drink as much as I want doesn’t mean I should drink as much as I want. You’d think I would have learned that back in college. Or in my 20s. Or in my 30s.

(4) Dave and I need to create trivia contests on the boat. Or at least the 80s music trivia contest. (pause for questions) Why yes, I’m glad you asked. As a matter of fact, we DID come home with a 1st place trophy.

(5) Four is apparently the maximum number of appetizers I should order in one sitting to create a meal of “small plates.” Not surprisingly, cream of mushroom soup, a crab cake, a (distinctively small) sushi sampler and a cheese plate can be quite filling when combined to create one overindulgent feast the likes of which we haven’t seen since ‘Gluttony’ was depicted in Brad Pitt’s Seven.

I could go on. And maybe I will in another post. But, for today, I just wanted you guys to know I was back on the grid. And that I didn’t forget about you. And that I so appreciate my friend, Mel, stopping by to say hi while I was away.

Did we take pictures? Well, sure. We took plenty. But for now, I’ll just leave you with one, taken of Dave and me at dinner the last night. For the record, the picture beneath it was taken at dinner on a cruise just like this one exactly ten years earlier.

Please be kind when you compare them.

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* * * * * * * * * *

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer from last time is …

Adventures in Weseland

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BEHIND THE KETCHUP

Click here to read how this foolishness all began.

KEEP TRACK OF OUR STUPIDITY

SPREAD THE WORD & POST OUR BUTTON … please!

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FINALLY … THE LINK-UP!

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WE give you a (completely random) picture to inspire you to KetchupWithUs.

All YOU need to do is link something up.

And, for the love of Heinz-Ketchup-FINALLY-Available-in-Dip-n-Squeeze-Tubs, TELL YOUR FRIENDS!

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{July 9, 2014}   When Michele’s Away…

So, Michele is away. She’s busy sailing around the world this week. Okay, maybe not around the world, but that makes her sound fancy, doesn’t it? Actually she’s literally cruising. On a ship. I bet she’s snorkeling, laughing, having fruity drinks and walking along pristine beaches. What a…(be nice, jealous Mel) LUCKY girl!

Meanwhile, back at Casa de Bugaj, the closest thing we have to fruity drinks are the Capri Suns I just bought for the kids. And since Michele’s away, well, I thought I’d come play on her blog. Why do you all look so panicked? No worries. Michele will be back on Saturday.

In all honesty, I miss her. I often share silly pictures I’ve taken throughout the day. And so now, my “photos I want to share with Michele” are backing up on my phone. Not only that, but since my brain is like a sieve, it would probably benefit me to post them here so I don’t forget. That way she can find them when she’s done galavanting around the delicious buffet tables.

Below are the pictures, questions, commentary and other foolishness I would have sent her over the past few days. Enjoy!

IMG_0444 Check out the tattoo on this guy’s leg helping me in Auto Zone.

Is that Lurch, Herman Munster or Frankenstein?

IMG_0518Reading “Diary of a Wimpy Kid.” He’s been laughing at the word “fart.” For the past FIVE minutes.

He never finds ME this funny!

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Playing with her dolls in the driveway. Of course she decided to hang out in the shade cause I just took 10 minutes to meticulously lather her entire body in sunscreen.

GET IN THE SUN, KID! YOU’RE PROTECTED!

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The Baby Huey of all baby carrots. Or a finger. It could be a finger.


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This is kinda cruel, but check out my cheese platter I got! That’s apricot chutney and some kind of fancy relish. I should stop describing it to you before you come through my phone and eat my warm goat cheese. HANDS OFF MY CHEESE PLATE, MICHELE!

IMG_0528Sooo, turns out, if you FILL the bird feeder, they will come. Why do birds gotta be so picky?

IMG_0530Did I do this right? Now what? I forget.

IMG_0531Mags wants to show Viv the cut on her eye. She has no idea where it came from or even noticed it until I pointed it out two minutes ago. Now you’d think she’s going to lose her eye. Sigh.

 

Welcome home, Michele! Pretty sure the only things left in your fridge safe to eat

after five days away are the INEDIBLE things. YUM!




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You guys remember Herve, right?

Well, the poor little guy was not feeling well recently. And even though he is a hamster … and even though he is now two years old (which is, like, 65 in people years … or something like that) … we brought him to the exotic vet. No, I don’t actually have an exotic vet. This guy was referred to us by our regular vet. (Milo‘s doctor.) And he was the bomb. Wanna hear about our experience? Well, why the heck else would you be here?

(Storytelling style stolen borrowed from beloved children’s author Laura Numeroff.  And my friend, Mel.

* * * * * * * * * *

If you take a hamster to the exotic vet, you’ll probably meet a friendly squirrel.

If you meet a friendly squirrel, you’ll learn that he has his own Facebook page.

If you take a seat in the waiting room to look up the squirrel’s Facebook page, you’ll suddenly notice that you’re sitting right next to wiggling blanket that scares the crap out of you because you have no idea what’s under that blanket.

If you investigate the wiggling blanket because you’re concerned that a rabid badger might be under it poised and ready to kill you, you’ll discover that it’s actually just a spazzy chinchilla whose owner is not very friendly.

If you discover that your neighbor is just a spazzy chinchilla, you’ll realize that there is not a “normal” pet in the room.

If you notice that there are no normal pets in the room, you’ll want to take an inventory of the bizarreness.

If you take an inventory the bizarreness, you will find one social networking squirrel, one spazzy chinchilla, one stoic rabbit, one ailing ferret, one obnoxiously-egocentric bird, one suspicious-looking lizard and one unidentified, midsize, introverted rodent and you will start to feel less weird about sitting in the exotic veterinarian’s office with your daughter waiting for your hamster.

If you start to feel less weird, you will actually learn to embrace the eccentricity and decide it’s worth sharing on your blog.

If you decide to share the experience on your blog, you will start taking notes on your phone (which is probably a good idea because it will distract you from the murderous chinchilla/badger beside you).

If you start taking notes on your phone, the vet’s assistant will come out and tell you that Herve the teddy bear hamster has had a full battery of tests and everything looks A-OK.

If the vet’s assistant mentions “a full battery of tests” for a hamster, you will probably picture him running on a treadmill with those sticky electrode thingies all over his tiny body and the doctor telling him to turn his head and cough and you will fight the urge to crack up laughing in the assistant’s face.

If you fight the urge to crack up laughing, your face will contort into a weird expression that probably makes you look constipated but results in the assistant thinking you’re a complete idiot and speaking more slowly to help you understand her.

If the assistant thinks you’re an idiot and asks if you understand, you will probably just nod yes because, well, you know she’s not so far off the mark on this assumption.

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Bet y’all didn’t believe me about the squirrel.

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Deliver us from evil.

Until today, I thought only of those four little words as the closing to a comforting and familiar prayer I’ve known since childhood. After today, they will also forever be associated with this terrifying account of demonic possession the likes of which I can barely watch on my computer monitor. Opening in theaters today, Deliver Us From Evil is described as “an intense dramatization of actual events, following New York police detective Ralph Sarchie (Eric Bana) as he tries to solve a series of bizarre crimes. He turns to an unconventional priest (Edgar Ramirez) for help when it becomes clear the evil he is fighting is more spiritual than earthly.”

(shivering and fleeing to safe spot in back of closet for the rest of this post)

I plan to bring a vial of holy water with me to the theater.

And a crucifix.

AND AN EXTRA PAIR OF UNDERPANTS!

Thanks to our friends at Grace Hill Media, Mel and I are giving away prize packs to two lucky winners. Each pack contains the following items:

A copy of Officer Sarchie’s book Deliver Us From Evil (formerly Beware the Night, description found here)

AND

Deliver Us From Evil t-shirt

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See that smiling idiot? She actually thinks she’ll be able to SLEEP in that shirt tonight. Of course, she’ll probably wake up levitating over her bed while blood trickles down the walls of her room.

Don’t do it, fool!

* * * * * * * * * *

Want to win a Deliver Us From Evil Prize Pack?

Click HERE to Enter!

The contest ends on Wednesday, July 9, 2014.

* * * * * * * * * *

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It’s time for Ketchup With Us. Hosted by Mel and me on the 1st & 15th each month, our link-up gives you TWO ways to play: (A) Write about anything for 10 minutes OR (B) Link up an old post. Or both!

* * * * * * * * * *

What do you write about when you don’t know what to write about? Well, now THAT is a good question. I guess after writing for thirty days straight about everything from my kids to the big summer musical I did with my daughter to, well, the crap in my refrigerator that isn’t actually edible, it’s hard to think of anything else.

What the hell has happened to me lately that qualifies as interesting?

I ate something a few weeks ago called Duck Fat Fries. Is that interesting? I don’t know, but it sure as hell was delicious. To the extent that there’s an excellent chance I’ll be placing a to-go order with this high-end restaurant pretty soon. (Seriously, where’s my phone?) Ducks. I don’t like to eat their gamey meat. Who’d have thought potatoes fried in their grease would be do damned yummy? (Please don’t tell PETA I said that.)

What else? What else?

Ooh! A rat licked my face. No. YOU shut up. I AM being serious. But I should probably mention that her name is Lily. She’s owned. She wasn’t just a random rat I met on the street. I have standards. I’m not some cheap floozy who lets just ANY rat I meet lick all over my face. Because that would be weird.

Of course, this rat was a girl. Should I be concerned about that? Should I be listening to more Indigo Girls (how sad that that’s my newest reference) and booking tickets to Lilith Fair? Does that even still happen every year? And also, have I just offended anyone with my tongue-in-cheek reference to my wandering gender preference for girl rats? Anyone who knows me at all knows I’m kidding.

Tolerance is my middle name.

Actually, it’s Annette. Or it was Annette until I got married and dumped it for my maiden name. Which was fine with me because I could never get past the old Grease lyric. You guys remember, right? Stockard Channing sang it at the slumber party when she was making fun of Sandy. “Would you pull that crap with Annette?” It always confused me as a child. Let’s just say I took it way too literally and couldn’t figure out why, for the life of me, anyone would ever want to do that. Disgusting.

Oh, but back the rat. You guys don’t believe me, do you? Well, that’s why I had my picture taken. With a rat. Licking me. On the face.

How many of you can say that?

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I tried to smile. Lord, how I tried.

* * * * * * * * * *

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer from last time is …

Lefty Pop

* * * * * * * * * *

BEHIND THE KETCHUP

Click here to read how this foolishness all began.

KEEP TRACK OF OUR STUPIDITY

SPREAD THE WORD & POST OUR BUTTON … please!

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FINALLY … THE LINK-UP!

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WE give you a (completely random) picture to inspire you to KetchupWithUs.

All YOU need to do is link something up.

And, for the love of Peter Pan Peanut Butter, TELL YOUR FRIENDS!

Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




Has thirty days really gone by? Gosh, I barely noticed. These thirty Blog Posts by Number entries feel like they’ve literally written themselves.

(checking over both shoulders to see if anyone else is still listening)

Did that sound believable? Good LORD, that was difficult. Taking all those pictures … attempting (oh, and I DO mean attempting) to be clever … just coming up with thirty freakin’ ideas was haaaaaard. Actually, it was 26 from me and 4 guest posts from my mom. (Thanks, Mom.) Regardless, it was a real challenge and, while I’ll miss it, I’ll also NOT miss it. Perhaps now I can get back to washing my hair regularly (ha!) and getting a full night’s sleep (double ha!).

Now you’re picturing a sleepy, dirty-haired woman sitting at the computer for 30 days. Which is not entirely inaccurate.

Anyway, here we are. June 30. The last day of the month. The last day of Blog Posts by Number and we promised you a list, didn’t we? Well, guess what? I’m not going to give you a list. (crowd transforms into angry mob and gavel is banged on podium) (three times)

I’m giving you TWO lists!

(sound of deafening applause fills the room, at least in my head it does)

First, we’re going to talk about Mel and the many funny lists she provided us with for the month of June. Did anyone know she actually worked full-time half the month AND (get this) changed residences from one state to another? And she STILL managed to get her posts in. Color me impressed. (And royal blue. I look pretty good in royal blue.) So, as list number one for this post, I give you … in my opinion …

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BPBN = Blog Posts by Number

  1. 5 Ways to Spice Up a High School Awards Assembly
  2. Five Reasons Why This is My Most Favorite Gift Of All Time
  3. 5 Ways Moms Are Like Jack Bauer

Honestly, it was hard picking just three. She had so many cute kid-isms, a funny guest post by her husband and even a birthday post to me that would be entirely too self-serving to list here. (cough) So I’ll just link it.

Thanks, Mel, for joining me on this little writing adventure. Let me know when you’re ready for the next one.

* * * * * * * * * *

And now for the list you’ve all been waiting for. Who actually participated in our little  torture tacticmasochistic exercise … writing game? The following list represents some of the most supportive bloggers out there and, to them, Mel and I offer our most humble and sincere thanks for playing along. We hope you guys enjoyed it (I was kidding before … mostly) as much as we did.

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(We love you, guys!)

Oh, and one more thing. A special commendation goes out to Shannon Adams-Mercer. Seriously, that “Radio Chick” managed to crank out a great post every single day. Shannon, Mel and I are putting you in charge next time. Oh, and we wanted to give you this little token of our appreciation. Feel free to use it on your blog and throw it around wherever you like. But beware. With this honor comes great power. (room falls into a hushed awe)

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Okay, dammit. You know what? I will miss it! (flees room in tears)

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We’re in the final days for Blog Posts by Number Month!

To be included in our list of Awesome Bloggers Who Participated (yeah … that title is still in the works) on June 30, just write a numbered post. It’s easy. Write something like “Fourteen Alternative Uses for Soy Sauce” or “Nine Ways My Cat Reminds Me of Neil Patrick Harris” then let us know about it. Mel and I have been writing numbered posts all month. Scroll back through June to check them out.

Oh, and remember my mother’s guest post yesterday about my son? Well, of course, today’s post is about my daughter, her granddaughter.

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1. I love her.

2. We watch a myriad of shows and movies on TV, but we often prefer to sing and play show tunes at the piano. (She sings. I play.)

3. She makes me laugh. She makes me smile. She keeps me happy.

4. We always have a late night snack.

5. She still loves hearing stories at bedtime (an activity started when her older brother was only two). Now, as she gets older, she also enjoys TELLING the stories. I like that, too.

6. She sleeps as late as I do. Actually, later!

7. She enjoys making her own meals, which quite often differ from the norm because she likes to search through the pantry and fridge for interesting ingredients that she can mix together.

8. She calls the “kids’ room” her own since her brother is rarely there. That’s where she spends time reading, watching her tv shows, or drawing pictures and fancy letters on her easel.

9. She still loves every stuffed animal she has ever received in her life. Many now live at my house in the kids’ (her) room.

10. I miss her when she’s not here.

* * * * * * * * * *

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June is Blog Post by Numbers Month. Wanna play with Mel and me? Just write a “listy-type” post with a number in the title (ex. FOUR Reasons I Love Mayonnaise, SIX Things You Can Do With A Paper Clip). Then link back to us and tweet us about it so we can include you on June 30th in our final list: (Number-Yet-To-Be-Determined) Great Bloggers Who Played the Blog Post by Numbers Game!

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Last call for Blog Posts by Number Month!

To be included in our list of Awesome Bloggers Who Sang Along to the Music (title still pending) on June 30, just write a numbered post. It’s easy. Write something like “Seven Reasons I Love Polka Bands” or “Nine Things You Shouldn’t Do at the  Library” then let us know about it. Mel and I have been writing numbered posts all month. Scroll back through June to check them out.

And yes. I AM getting to today’s post. It’s a fun one!

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1. Photo Statuettes of the Kids (13)

I honestly wish there were more.

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2. Mini NFL Football Helmets (32)

He’s got the full collection. Thanks to gumball machines, Gigi and eBay.

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3. Mini-Pennants (122)

Every one of his wall borders is covered. Thanks to the NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL.

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4. Milo’s Cat Whiskers (43)

I’m not sure what the eventual plan is for these collectibles but we could probably make mini-placements. Ooh, or napkin rings!

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5. Disney Lanyard Pins (16)

It’s a neat way to pass the time for a kid at Disney World. Because there aren’t already enough ways to do that.

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6. Garden Flags (16)

 I think this collection officially makes me an old lady. Especially because we even have one for the cat.

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7. Wall Clocks (2)

After considering the amount of work I’d have to do with every time change, I elected to stop here.

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8. Theater Programs (84)

I keep one from every show I see or do. Thanks to Hurricane Katrina, this collection is almost complete. Almost.

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9. Disney Soft Dolls.

Vivien aims to collect every female in this line for her as-of-yet-fictitious, future daughter.

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10. Eggshells (180)

No, we’re not freaks. They’re for the confetti egg booth at our school’s annual fair.

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11. Dust Bunnies.

Because, well, Milo. I treat them like Rorschach ink blots. I think this one looks a little like a three-legged frog. What do YOU see?

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* * * * * * * * * *

What about YOU?

What do YOU collect at YOUR house?

(Please don’t say human hair, bones or fingernails.)

* * * * * * * * * *

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June is Blog Post by Numbers Month. Wanna play with Mel and me? Just write a “listy-type” post with a number in the title (ex. FOUR Reasons I Love Mayonnaise, SIX Things You Can Do With A Paper Clip). Then link back to us and tweet us about it so we can include you on June 30th in our final list: (Number-Yet-To-Be-Determined) Great Bloggers Who Played the Blog Post by Numbers Game!

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Time’s running out to be included in our final Blog Posts by Number entry on June 30. It’s a been a fun month full of “Six Things You Can Do With an Old Bra Cup” and “Nine Reasons Men Are Like Cheetos.” No, those are not real posts, but they do sound fun, don’t they? Mel and I (plus a whole mess of other bloggers) have been writing numbered posts all month. Scroll back through June to check them out. And get yourself included on our list of participants by writing just one (or more!) numbered post this month then letting us know about it. You’ll be guaranteed retirement within two yearsfame and glory the likes of which you could not imagine … our undying gratitude and camaraderie.

And who can put a price on that really?

Oh, wait. The post! My mom is guest posting today. She’s better at this than I am anyway. And yes. She’ll have another one just like it for you tomorrow. Well, you’ll understand better when you read it. So, without further ado, I give you …

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1. I love him.

2. We watch sports and quiz shows together.

3. We chat about many topics before going to sleep. Most recently, Alzheimer’s.

4. We always have a late night snack.

5. I’m amused about how long he takes to brush his teeth.

6. He sleeps as late as I do.

7. He still enjoys hearing stories that I tell – a nightly pastime that started when he was two. Of course, the topics and themes have developed a bit.

8. He REALLY enjoys a fried Spam and egg brunch with his grandfather.

9. The lawn and garden look better when he leaves.

10. I miss him when he’s not here.

* * * * * * * * * *

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June is Blog Post by Numbers Month. Wanna play with Mel and me? Just write a “listy-type” post with a number in the title (ex. FOUR Reasons I Love Mayonnaise, SIX Things You Can Do With A Paper Clip). Then link back to us and tweet us about it so we can include you on June 30th in our final list: (Number-Yet-To-Be-Determined) Great Bloggers Who Played the Blog Post by Numbers Game!

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Yesterday was all about movies I love so much I just had to own them. Of course, I haven’t even begun to finish collecting my favorites titles yet. So since yesterday’s list was about seven movies I already own, I decided to make today’s about the same number that I still need to buy. Think my family will remember them in December?

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1. About a Boy

2. Bridget Jones I (Don’t play this clip with the kids.)

3. Bridget Jones II

4. Chocolat

5. Man on the Moon

6. Sling Blade

7. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?

* * * * * * * * * *

What about you?

What movies are on your holiday/birthday/Arbor Day list?

* * * * * * * * * *

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June is Blog Post by Numbers Month. Wanna play with Mel and me? Just write a “listy-type” post with a number in the title (ex. FOUR Reasons I Love Mayonnaise, SIX Things You Can Do With A Paper Clip). Then link back to us and tweet us about it so we can include you on June 30th in our final list: (Number-Yet-To-Be-Determined) Great Bloggers Who Played the Blog Post by Numbers Game!

Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

 



et cetera
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