OldDogNewTits












It’s October 25. Two Months ’til Christmas. But, more importantly, one week ’til Halloween. What better way to commemorate the occasion than to take in bone-chilling, blood-curdling, scare-your-pants-off horror flick. For those of you paying attention, I’ve already fulfilled my obligation this month with my friend, Vanessa, and House at the End of the Street.

While it did accomplish its primary goal of scaring the snot out of me, I don’t see any Oscar nods in its future. Still, it manages to attract an audience. Mostly because FilmNation Entertainment opted to cast Jennifer Lawrence (also known as Katniss Everdeen from the globally famous Hunger Games) as its female lead. And actually, I noticed that Lawrence’s two movies have a few similarities.

These details were exactly the same.

In both HG and HATEOTS …

  • Katniss (which henceforth shall be her name for both films) is a tough, jaded teenager with lots of attitude.
  • She’s got a crappy relationship with her mom.
  • She lives near the woods.
  • Children die.

And these were pretty close.

1. Katniss doesn’t have a father.

  • Because he was killed in a mine explosion. (HG)
  • Because her parents were divorced and FilmNation Entertainment didn’t want to cast an actor to play her dad. (HATEOTS)

2. Katniss is surrounded my alcohol abuse.

  • By Haymitch, the sole surviving victor from District 12 who fell to alcoholism following his fight to stay alive against twenty-three bloodthirsty opponents. (HG)
  • By spoiled, overprivileged teenagers who, if this movie was a slasher flick of the 80s, would’ve been picked off one by one during the course of the movie. (HATEOTS)

3. Katniss sings.

  • Because she wants to defy the Capitol and avenge Rue’s death. (HG)
  • Because she wants to rock out in Battle of the Bands. (HATEOTS)

4. Katniss is exposed to an aggressive sleep aid.

  • Sleep syrup – because she needs to lull Peeta into a deep sleep while she risks her life venturing out for much needed medicinal supplies to save his life. (HG)
  • Chloroform – because the killer was small in stature and thought she needed subduing. (HATEOTS)

5. Katniss is being forced to conform to something she is not.

  • A tribute or, as Peeta would call it, a pawn in the Capitol’s dystopian game. (HG)
  • A dead girl. Or undead. You don’t find out ’til the end and I’m not going to spoil it for you. (HATEOTS)

Oh, and one more thing. Remember the one about Lincoln having a secretary named Kennedy and so on? Well … the name of the Hunger Games producer is NINA Jacobsen. And there was a character in House at the End of the Street named MARY Jacobsen. Oooooooooooh.

* * * * * * * * * *

Where am I going with this?

Duh. Absolutely nowhere. I’m the girl who writes about dumbassery, remember? And today I think I’ve given you more than your daily dose. In summary, GO SEE A SCARY MOVIE! And come tell me about it when you do. Hurry! You’ve only got six days left. My friend, Vanessa, still wants to have a Paranormal Activity movie marathon. (Shudder.) I’ve never seen any of them. God help us all if she wins me over. Think manic posts. Crazy, rambling, over caffeinated posts. From a sleepless lunatic.

It could get pretty interesting.

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I did something I NEVER do today. I saw a movie (a BIG one, I might add) on its opening day. I’d give you three guesses as to the movie but, the way I’ve been carrying on lately, I’m sure you know it was Hunger Games. No, I did not stand in line with a bunch of teenagers at midnight. I went with a group of friends, the same ones I mentioned in my second prequel post.

We are adults. So, we did it in a very civilized way. We purchased our tickets in advance for a very upscale, modern theater in New Orleans, where you have to be 18 to enter. Their tagline is Gourmet Food. Full Bar. Luxury Seating.  I took advantage of all three.

We settled into our oversized comfy chairs (akin to the quality of first class air travel) and pressed a button for the waitress. Jen and I split the cheese plate, described as a selection of four cheeses served with breads and fig mostarda, assorted flatbread and crackers.  I also ordered the Angelo Brocato’s Italian Cookie Plate because I’m a sucker for fig cookies. And, for my beverage, I wanted The Dawn Patrol (house-made fig brandy, Patron Citronage Orange Liqueur, sour mix, splash of house-made vanilla cinnamon brown sugar simple syrup and satsuma twist) to complete my Trifecta of fig cuisine. But, alas, they were out of the necessary brandy so I opted for a Trivento Malbec and sat back to wait for the movie.

The food arrived for most of us almost immediately so we began eating (a difficult task, considering it was knife and fork fare and we were in near darkness) over the movie trailers.  I saw one for Dark Shadows, a Tim Burton movie featuring none other than Johnny Depp, that I filed away for my summer wish list. Then, I saw another, the most unusual today, for something called Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Let me just say … I SO wish I had thought of this movie title. It would also be a great name for a band, wouldn’t it?

Anyway … jumping ahead majorly … I really enjoyed the movie, for which I sat on the edge of my seat the majority of the time.  Even though, unlike (almost) ever before in my lifetime, I had actually read the book first and thus knew what was going to happen. Except, of course, when the screenplay strayed from the original story.

The question … Was it as good as the book?  The answer … Is it ever?

There’s always far too much that needs to be omitted when something is culled down from the page to the screen.  Much must be sacrificed. But, then again, the movie affords you the delight of seeing some of the fictional characters come to life through real people like Stanley Tucci, Woody Harrelson and Lenny Kravitz. I so loved all of them in this movie.

Am I going to tell you anything else about the movie? 

Absolutely not. This story is one that no one wants spoiled for them.  I’ve literally shushed and been shushed by total strangers when discussing the book in public. It’s a cult. And I’m a kool-aid drinking, tambourine-beating, bald girl selling flowers at the airport.  I’m all in.

One last thing though … to the women in the ladies room after the show, the main character’s name is KATNISS EVERDEEN, not Candace Aberdeen.  If you read the book, you’d know that. (Look at me … getting all uppity about book learnin’.)

Haven’t seen it yet? Let me tempt you …

Thanks, Ashley, Vanessa, Jen, Melissa and Mignon, for bringing me today.

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