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Each week, my friend MamaKat (I’ve never met her before but she seems like a nice lady) posts five writing prompts to inspire her readers to create something. As a change of pace, I decided that rather than choosing only one of the prompts I would instead try responding to all five (in a manner that hopefully makes sense) in the same post.

For your reference, here are the five prompts:

1.) What were you writing about last year at this time? What has changed?
2.) Things that make you happy.
3.) Something you bought this month that you love.
4.) 8 accounts you love following on Instagram.
5.) A blog post inspired by the word: Easter

(Taking deep breaths and stretching a bit) Okay. Here goes. … Expect nothing.

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On this day in 2013, I wrote about a horrible experience I had at my local Honda dealership (#1) and the complaint letter I sent them about it. In short, the service department was manned by a bunch of boobs who grossly mishandled me that day, but at least my letter scored me a free oil change.

I love free stuff. “We’re so sorry you found a roach in your soup, ma’am. Which was actually supposed to be a BBQ Chicken flatbread. Please allow us to purchase a round of drinks for your table.” Restitution makes me happy. (#2)

Of course, my children’s joy makes me the happiest of all. Which explains why, when I suggested that they each pick out a treat from the grocery today, I wound up purchasing these heart-healthy delicacies. (#3) I’m getting gassy just thinking about them.

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Oh, and speaking of pictures of stupid things, let’s talk Instagram. I’ll admit … I’m a suckish Instagrammer. Where Facebook is for sharing pics of your delectable Beef Bourguignon  and Twitter for throwing out the perfect one-liner, Instagram seems to be for people trying to combine the two. And, seriously … I CAN’T BE EXPECTED TO COME UP WITH ZINGY ONE-LINERS ABOUT FANCY FRENCH BEEF! Thus, I am a passive user. Although (truth) I did hurry to find MamaKat and follow her before I went live with this post. It seemed not only sensible and polite but also PC given the circumstances. So there’s one loved account. But I still need seven more. (#4) Leave your recommendations in the comments so I can catch up with them, too.

Did someone say “Ketchup?” (Well, no. I know it was “catch up.” Plus no one actually said it. It was typed. Duh, it was me who typed it so I’m totally aware of what happened. Just go with it.) Like Mrs. LosinIt (I’m not actually sure what part of MamaKatsLosinIt is her last name so I just broke it in half), I also run a blog hop. I co-host it with my friend Mel on the 1st and 15th of every month. It’s called KetchupWithUs (oh, now you get it) because it always features a picture of one of us in a full-body ketchup costume. I know. We’re a couple of geniuses. But it’s supposed to inspire you to step out of your comfort zone and not take yourself too seriously. The current link-up is live right now and my chosen subject matter is Easter. (#5) Here’s hoping you’ll come check us out, too.

Until then, Viva la MamaKat. Thanks for the prompts, my friend.

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{April 15, 2014}   Ketchup With Us #BlogHop 40

It’s time for Ketchup With Us. Held on the 1st & 15th of every month, the link-up gives you TWO ways to play: (A) Set a timer for 10 minutes and write about whatever enters your head OR (B) Link up an old post. Mel and I are easy that way. For this link-up, I’m choosing A, the brain drain method.

Easter is just around the corner. As in this week. As in six days. As in who knows how many hours? I’m losing time just trying to calculate it right now.

And, speaking of time, where the heck has it all gone?!!? How did my kids get to be 14 and 11? I can still remember the Easter Bunny bringing Big Boy and Big Girl underwear back in the day. I’m pretty sure they were Blue’s Clues and Dora the Explorer. My kids would DIE if they knew I just wrote that. But they’re my babies. They’ll always be my babies. And I’ve already warned them both that I’ll still be calling them that when they’re fifty… and sixty … and even seventy.

“No, you won’t, Mom,” corrected my son.

“Oh, yes, I will, Dean,” I promised.

“No, you won’t,” he smiled. “Because when I’m seventy, you’ll be dead.”

My sentimental boy.

Maybe he’ll get it when he’s a dad. He’s going to be a great one. Sweet, kindhearted, calm. I don’t know where he gets that “calm” from. And my daughter is a natural. She’s clearly got a special place in her heart for tiny people. A special way even. And they seem to love her even more in return. She’s like the Pied Piper.

I love those kids more than anything in the world. Happy Easter, guys. Have I not embarrassed you enough yet? Then how about I include two of my favorite pictures from Easters past?

Yeah. That should do it.

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Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer from last time is …

Lady Goo Goo Gaga

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BEHIND THE KETCHUP

Click here to read how this foolishness all began.

KEEP TRACK OF OUR STUPIDITY

Facebook (Michele/Mel)

Twitter (Michele/Mel)

Instagram (Michele/Mel)

Pinterest (Michele/Mel)

SPREAD THE WORD & POST OUR BUTTON … please!

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FINALLY … THE LINK-UP!

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WE give you a picture to inspire you to KetchupWithUs.

All YOU need to do is link something up.

And, for the love of Henry, TELL YOUR FRIENDS!

Why post of a picture of the Gorton’s Fisherman? Well, I have been eating a lot of fish lately. It being Lent and all. And, seriously, what’s goes better with fish sticks than Ketchup? Am I right?

Oh, and please excuse my butt cut. You’d be surprised how difficult it is to manage a decent hairstyle when dressed as a Ketchup bottle.

Wait. Why are you still reading this? Shouldn’t you be writing … or finding the perfect post to link up? And, gosh, look at me just blathering on when you have work to do. Go. Go now and do your thing!

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I’m posting an old fragment of a children’s story that I wrote but but never published a few years ago. I have another children’s story that I might (one undetermined day in the future) publish. It’s the one of which I’m proud. It’s the one by which I’d like to be remembered. And it’s the one based on subject matter that isn’t, well, disgusting.

But I have a friend in the biz who once told me, “Kids love gross. Seriously, that’s their frame of reference for humor. Farts, burps, oozy, dripping monsters … the yuckier, the better.” Which is why one day, while sitting in a doctor’s waiting room, I wrote this little story on my phone. The protagonist is a big blob of …. you know what? Just read it.

Oh, and sorry. Blame MamaKat. She issued a writing prompt requesting for “a blog post you didn’t publish.” You asked for it, MK.

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Carl the Booger

There I was … clinging desperately to the wall … when I saw the fluffy fabric coming to cover the hole. It was my only window to the outside world. Then, everything went black. I readied myself for what I knew was coming. The force was amazing. It was like a giant vacuum sucking everything to the surface.

But not me.

“Maybe next time, suckers!” I screamed defiantly. But when I looked around me, I realized I was alone. I was the only man to survive. “I must head north … and go deeper, “ I thought. “To the sinuses!”

What?

Well, I never claimed it would be Shakespeare.

 

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{April 1, 2014}   Ketchup With Us #BlogHop 39

It’s time for Ketchup With Us. Held on the 1st & 15th of every month, the link-up gives you two ways to play. You can either (A) set a timer for 10 minutes and write about whatever pops into your head OR (B) link up an old post. Mel and I are easy that way.

For this link-up, I’m choosing A, the brain drain method. Here goes nothing …

I read a book! I read a book! I READ A BOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!!!

Okay. How pathetic is it that THAT’S news? I used to read all the time. Seriously, I read thick, lengthy books, classics, mysteries, adventure, anthologies. Now I can barely get through a magazine. Or someone else’s blog posts. And yet I expect you to read mine. Selfish? Well, yes. Maybe. But who has the time?!!?

Fine. I promise I’ll try to do better. And do you know why? Because there has never been a time that I’ve actually bothered to read a book and then thought,

“Crap! What a HUGE waste of time! I can’t BELIEVE I ruined myself by reading that drivel!!”

Well, except for when I read 50 Shades of Words-That-People-Only-Read-Because-They’re-Smut-And-I-Should-Have-Spent-My-Time-Writing-A-Book-Or-Even-Just-Staring-At-The-Damned-Wall.

What’s the matter? Do you not agree? You don’t have to agree. It’s my opinion. And, if you want to oppose me in the comments, bring it. I HATED it. But read it because everyone else said I just had to. (My apologies for the prepositional ending.)

So what did I read?

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A murder mystery published in 1939. And, holy crap, did it hold my attention! (I think they should use my quote on the back of the book jacket.

“One of the most ingenious thrillers in many a day.” – Time

“The whole thing is utterly impossible and utterly fascinating. It is the most baffling mystery Agatha Christie has ever written.” – New York Times

“There is no cheating; the reader is just bamboozled in a straightforward way from first to last….The most colossal achievement of a colossal career. The book must rank with Mrs. Christie’s previous best—on the top notch of detection.” – New Statesman, UK

“Holy crap, did it hold my attention! The book was so good that I read it in under 24 hours, shirking all of my other responsibilities, like showering and basic bladder maintenance. Seriously, I nearly peed my pants at the end.” – Michele, olddognewtits.com

I think it’s fits among the others nicely, don’t you think?

Anyway, my son read ATTWN (my modern day abbreviation for the classic novel) last school year and has been begging me to read it ever since. Why it took me a year to get to it can only be explained in two ways: Laziness and Horrendous Role Modeling.

Next time, I will take his recommendations much more seriously. And more immediately. After all, he is, like me, not a frequent reader. And thus, when he enjoys a book, it must, in fact, be stupendous. I will not again take his suggestions lightly.

Until then, I encourage YOU to read the pick. And, to entice you, I will leave you with the nursery rhyme that inspired the plot line. (P.S. I’m giving nothing away as Ms. Christie herself includes it in the book before chapter one even begins.)

Enjoy. (sound of my wicked laughter trailing off)

Ten little Indian boys went out to dine;

One choked his little self and then there were nine.

Nine little Indian boys sat up very late;

One overslept himself and then there were eight.

Eight little Indian boys traveling in Devon;

One said he’d stay there and then there were seven.

Seven little Indian boys chopping up sticks;

One chopped himself in halves and then there were six.

Six little Indian boys playing with a hive;

A bumblebee stung one and then there were five.

Five little Indian boys going in for law,

One got in Chancery and then there were four.

Four little Indian boys going out to sea;

A red herring swallowed one and then there were three.

Three little Indian boys walking in the Zoo;

A big bear hugged one and then there were two.

Two little Indian boys sitting in the sun;

On got frizzled up and then there was one.

One little Indian boy left all alone;

He went and hanged himself and then there were none.

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Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer from last time is …

Got Meghan

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BEHIND THE KETCHUP

Click here to read how this foolishness all began.

KEEP TRACK OF OUR STUPIDITY

Facebook (Michele/Mel) Twitter (Michele/Mel) Instagram (Michele/Mel) Pinterest (Michele/Mel)

SPREAD THE WORD & POST OUR BUTTON … please!

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FINALLY … THE LINK-UP!

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We give you a picture to inspire you to KetchupWithUs.

All you need to do is link something up … and tell your friends.

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{March 15, 2014}   Ketchup With Us #BlogHop 38

It’s time for Ketchup With Us. Held on the 1st & 15th of every month, the link-up gives you two ways to play. You can either (A) set a timer for 10 minutes and write about whatever pops into your head OR (B) link up an old post. Mel and I are easy that way.

For this link-up, I’m choosing A, the brain drain method.

What can I write about? What … can … I … write … about? (dramatic pause) Oooh! I know. I’ll tell you about when the picture below was taken last summer. It involves my dad again. Didn’t I write about him last time? Well, he’s awesome, so there’s why.

Anyway, my family was on vacation last summer. My kids and I actually flew to New York City with my parents (Dave was working at the time) and spent a few days there.  Then, we took a train from there to Philadelphia. And when I say we almost missed that train, I mean I actually hopped over the entrance threshold as the wheels started turning. I really should have done it in slow motion. In black-and-white. I felt like an old-time movie character. But I’m losing focus here.

So, we arrived in Philadelphia, a city I hadn’t seen since I was a very young child, and took in all the usual sights. Even met up briefly with my friend, Mel, and her family who were traveling to visit other family members just north of Philly. Our nine-headed monster of a group did a lot together including the Liberty Bell, the home of Betsy Ross and so much more. When Mel and company had to move on, we finished up in Philadelphia on a bus tour that took us to several more must-see locations.

And remember, I am an idiot. So when *I* say “must-see,” I usually mean something like the diner in Seinfeld, the coffee shop in Friends or the Rocky steps. All of which I have, of course, seen. (Click here for video of that last one. Seriously, it’s like 15 seconds.) Thus, when the opportunity to see the bar behind the offbeat FX comedy series It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia presented itself, I totally hopped off that bus. But my kids certainly weren’t coming with me to a neighborhood bar so my mom stayed back with them and rode on to the next stop but my dad hopped off with me.

He’s actually the one who encouraged me to throw on the red suit and take a picture behind the bar (see below). I guess I DO get it from somewhere. (Love you, too, Mom.)  …. and beep! 10 minutes done.

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Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer from last time is …

Coach Daddy

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BEHIND THE KETCHUP

Click here to read how this foolishness all began.

KEEP TRACK OF OUR STUPIDITY

SPREAD THE WORD & POST OUR BUTTON … please!

olddognewtits.com

The embed code for this button is right there in my sidebar. Unfortunately, my site is a tool and won’t let me put it in this actual post. Please grab it from the sidebar. Thanks!

FINALLY … THE LINK-UP!

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We give you a picture to inspire you to KetchupWithUs. In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, we’ll share this one. It was taken last summer at Paddy’s Pub, the bar that serves as the inspiration for It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

All you need to do is link something up … and tell your friends. Before Ketchup makes the endangered species list!

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{March 1, 2014}   Ketchup With Us #BlogHop 37

It’s time for Ketchup With Us. Held on the 1st & 15th of every month, the link-up gives you two ways to play. You can either (A) set a timer for 10 minutes and write about whatever pops into your head OR (B) link up an old post. Mel and I are easy that way.

For this link-up, I’m choosing A, the brain drain method.

Let me tell you about a special childhood memory that I associate with today. It’s March 1st and, while that’s not the actual date I’m looking for, the day is still very memorable to me. Please allow me to explain. You see, it’s Mardi Gras season here in New Orleans. And this weekend is the big one. Monster parades like Endymion, Bacchus and Orpheus will take to the streets with their electrified and in-some-cases block-long floats carrying all kinds of celebrity Grand Marshals and Krewe Captains.

Over the years, I’ve seen lots of famous faces on those floats. So many that I honestly can’t even remember all of them. My mind is flooded with images of Tom Jones, Dan Akroyd, Henry Winkler, Jackie Gleason, Drew Carey and so many others. But one in particular stands out. Maybe because it was a woman. (That’s still pretty rare for the Grand Marshals.) It was 1978. And it was for the Endymion Parade. The same parade the will roll through the streets of New Orleans tonight.

I was just a little thing which means my brother was even younger. And my mom was not feeling well that night. But Cheryl Ladd was the Grand Marshal. I’m just going to assume right now that I don’t have to explain to anyone who she is. We’ll just call her Farrah’s replacement on a little television show called Charlie’s Angels. (I’ll bet I have younger readers who are now confused and looking up the Drew Barrymore movie to see what I’m talking about.)

My dad was a huge Cheryl Ladd fan. So there was no way we were going to miss her in the parade. I can still remember him telling my mom, “So, I think I’m going to take Michele to the parade tonight, okay?” Then we loaded up the bench ladder (a Mardi Gras staple if you have kids to keep safe and you actually want to see the parade) and were on our way.

I still remember when her float passed. He was able to snag a doubloon she threw in our direction. I think it’s cute when I look back on it. I wonder if my mom does. Hmmmmm.

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Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer from last time is …

The Graying Chronicles

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BEHIND THE KETCHUP

Click here to read how this foolishness all began.

KEEP TRACK OF OUR STUPIDITY

SPREAD THE WORD & POST OUR BUTTON … please!

olddognewtits.com

The embed code for this button is right there in my sidebar. Unfortunately, my site is a tool and won’t let me put it in this actual post. Please grab it from the sidebar. Thanks!

FINALLY … THE LINK-UP!

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We give you a picture to inspire you to KetchupWithUs.

All you need to do is link something up.

Oh, and tell your friends!

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{February 15, 2014}   #KetchupWithUs #BlogHop 36

In the interest of saving time, Mel and I are employing an old writer’s trick for our KetchupWithUs link-up parties. We set a timer for 10 minutes and start typing, literally writing about whatever pops into our heads for that time period. Then, we hit “publish.” Feel free to use the same idea for your post OR link up whatever you want. Easiest. Link-up. Ever. Aaaaaaand ….. go!

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Ten minutes. Ummmmm. What can I say in ten minutes? Especially with a self-inflicted stomach ache brought on by an overdose of Maple Nut Goodies. It’s Valentine’s Day after all. Stupid Nut Goodies. My stomach is literally killing me.

I guess it’s because I missed breakfast. Oh, and lunch. I had a meeting today (with wonderful people who are probably reading this blog post … but I mean the compliment sincerely!). So I skipped breakfast. Sadly normal. And then worked right on through lunch. By the time I walked back into my house, it was 2pm and there they were. The little bastards. Sitting right there on the table next to all the other Valentine’s loot.

Honestly, I don’t even know why I like them. I don’t like any other candy that isn’t chocolate. Not any. And yet I give these somewhat nasty, über sweet candies a hall pass. I think it’s because they remind me of being a kid. My parents sold health food back then. As a little side thing. So we never had this kind of stuff in the house. Ever. I was exposed to some of the nastiest health foods you can imagine. Soy burgers (before anybody knew what the hell soy even was) and some orange drink that tasted like a blend of chewable orange vitamins and paste. It literally formed a froth at the top. (shudder)

But … when I went to the mall, all bets were off. Especially if we went to Sears where they used to have a candy counter with a wall of glass boxes filled with all kind of candy. I only remember two kinds. The first were the red-shelled pistachios. I wanted them so badly so I could pretend the shells were my fingernails. But I HATED the nuts. So that plan never really flew with my parents.

And, of course, the Maple Nut Goodies. Jawbreaking little pieces of Heaven. My dad liked them, too. So we used to enjoy them together. He still picks them up for me from time to time. And I, now an adult with my own money and a car enabling me to buy them 24/7/365, still look at every bag as though it could be the last. And I eat them like the fat kid in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory.

Augustus Gloop.

You guys didn’t think I forgot his name, did you? Seriously? You know me better than that. Well, Viva las Nut Goodies. And on with the show!

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Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer from last time is …

Shakespeare’s Mom

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BEHIND THE KETCHUP

Click here to read how this foolishness all began.

KEEP TRACK OF OUR STUPIDITY

SPREAD THE WORD & POST OUR BUTTON … please!

olddognewtits.com

The embed code for this button is right there in my sidebar. Unfortunately, my site is being a tool and won’t let me put it in this actual post. Please grab it from the sidebar. Thanks!

FINALLY … THE LINK-UP!

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We give you a picture to remind you to KetchupWithUs.

All you need to do is link something up.

Oh, and tell your friends!

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Darling Dame



It’s that time of year. Actually, it’s been “that time of year” since last August when football season began. And a line is drawn in my house. Between those who can speak the language and those who can’t. Because you can’t fake football. I should know. I have tried. Lord, how I’ve tried. But everyone can see it in my eyes. The fear. The blinding panic. I’m like the poor American clown in the middle of a cafe full of Frenchmen who are laughing at me because I’ve just mistakenly asked for extra nasal decongestant on my french fries.

Yes, it’s that bad.

Fortunately, I have friends who help keep me in line. Like Mel. She’s the kind of friend who will announce to the room “Oh, Michele. You are SO funny. Pretending to think that yellow line on the field was real. You really had us going there!” as she shoves a chip full of seven-layer dip into my mouth. God, I love seven layer dip. What’s not to love? The cheese, the guacamole, the …. what were we talking about again? Oh, yeah. Football! And, more specifically, the SuperBowl!

Which reminds me … Mel and I are hosting The Third Annual  #FootballForWomen Twitter party. But you don’t have to be a woman to come play. And you don’t have to like or understand football. Hell, you could probably participate from inside a movie theater. But it’ll be more fun if you’re watching the plays, the coaches, the hairstyles, the wardrobe malfunctions and the insanely-overpriced-ad-spots.

So follow the hashtag and come laugh with us from Kickoff to the Final Curtain. (Oh, shut up, Mel. I can call it the Final Curtain if I want to call it the Final Curtain.)

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And hey! While you’re here, why don’t you link up a post in our blog hop? You can link up any post! Just be sure after you link it you scream, “TOUCHDOWN, BABY!,” do a little dance and smack somebody’s butt. (cut to me rolling my eyes at your inhibition) Fine. Skip the dance, chicken. Just link-up, share the hop and #KetchupWithUs!

We hope to see you Sunday!

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Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer from last time is …

Radio Chick

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BEHIND THE KETCHUP

Click here to read how this foolishness all began.

KEEP TRACK OF OUR STUPIDITY

SPREAD THE WORD & POST OUR BUTTON … please!

olddognewtits.com

The embed code for this button is right there in my sidebar. Unfortunately, my site is being a tool and won’t let me put it in this actual post. Please grab it from the sidebar. Thanks!

FINALLY … THE LINK-UP!

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Share one of your recent TDs. Link it up right here!

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My friend, Kelley, called me this morning. I had just shared a link on Facebook that grabbed her and she wanted to chat about it immediately. For those who don’t already know, I’m a theater freak. To me, there’s no better day than one spent in a theater seeing a great show. While eating high-end cheese. But also being skinny. And having my feet rubbed. Sitting next to Johnny Depp. Or maybe Ellen Degeneres. It would depend on the show. But I digress.

My shared link was all about Broadway Across America, the touring company that consistently brings exceptional (some shows more than others) musical theater to my part of the world. They just announced their 2014-2015 season. And what a season it is.

As I said on my personal Facebook page, it’s the “strongest season we’ve had in a while. Almost every one is a home run. And that’s as sportsy as this theater geek is gonna get.” (So far I’ve called myself a freak and a geek in this post. Very self-deprecating but at least it’s poetic.) Let’s take a look at the season and I’ll offer you my two cents. (Because I have no friggin’ idea what’s going to happen at the Super Bowl. Seriously, who’s even playing?)

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I’ve seen this show twice on Broadway. It’s one of my all-time favorites. The first time I was lucky enough to see Bebe Neuwirth in the role of Velma and even meet her afterwards. (We took a picture but I’m going to blatantly lie and tell you I can’t find it. Because my eyes were closed. And it’s from, like, 15 years ago so it’s stored way out of reach. Plus I looked fat. Because I was standing next to freaking Bebe Neuwirth!) Each song is better than the last and the show actually made me laugh. So many shows have tired jokes in them. Oh, and I have never seen the movie so I can’t offer any comparisons.

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I’ve seen this show a few times. This music is very pretty and sophisticated. It’s an Andrew Lloyd Webber production for Pete’s sake. But, personally, I like a little spoken dialogue in my show. Mr. Webber and I disagree on this point. Every one should see the show at least once, on Broadway if possible in a stationary production so that the iconic chandelier is at its most grand. Beyond that, I find my soundtrack to be satisfactory. Many will disagree with me here. I welcome other opinions in the comments.

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I haven’t seen this show and would normally be a little wary. I am not typically a fan of clumsy adaptations that gets their roots in mainstream cinema. Flashdance, Ghost, Legally Blonde … these don’t usually resonate with me. However, I will somewhat (bashfully admit) that this show intrigues me. Maybe it’s because it’s already filled with music and, obviously, dancing. Or maybe it’s because I was a kid when I actually saw it the first time so it holds major nostalgic moments for me. (Dear Broadway Producers, I would also like to see theatrical mountings of Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, ooh, and maybe Better Off Dead. Thanks, Michele)

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I’ve seen this show countless times. Heck, I think my daughter’s seen it countless times, too. And, yes, we’ll be going again. Confession. I’m pretty sure I can sing every word to every song in the score. Go ahead, judge. One day I’m going to put on a red wig and that old costume my grandmother made for me decades ago and sing my heart out on YouTube for all of you. I expect that my kids will probably be removed from my custody that same day. But I’ll just stick out my chin … and grin … and saaaaaaay …

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I have not seen this show. Nor have I seen the 2006 movie of the same name upon which it was based. What I know is that it received eleven Tony nominations in 2012. And then went on to win eight of them including Best Musical and Best Book. It’s a different kind of show, one in which the cast also serves as the orchestra. And a very minimalist set with a bar in the middle of the stage is used.  A bar that, for the Broadway production, actually operated as a real one serving drinks to theater patrons before the show and during intermission. I have no idea if the traveling show will be able to reproduce that charming offering but it’s pretty cool. I’m very much looking forward to this one.

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I’ve seen this show a few times. It’s my exception to the Andrew-Lloyd-Webber-I-wish-there-were-dialogue rule. Joseph is a fantastic show. And I’m not just saying that because Vivien and I were lucky enough to perform in it with a great cast last summer. The show is a clever take on the ancient biblical story of Jacob and his many sons. The lyrics are smart and every song draws its roots from a different musical genre including classic county & western, calypso, jitterbug,  disco, French ballads, etc. We even caught Dave and Dean humming the music under their breaths a few times last summer. And that’s saying something.

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I’ve seen this show several times, both on and off Broadway. It’s a fun show but, in my opinion, you have to like ABBA. Fortunately for me, ABBA was in frequent rotation on my Dad’s turntable back in the day. Thus, I was pretty familiar with most of the music. Of course, there is an actual storyline, too, so you could go for just that. But some of the songs are pretty shoe-horned into the plot. Which is hilarious if you actually know (and don’t hate) the music. (Confession. One day, I hope to see this show with a bunch of women and gay guy friends. That sounds like a blast!)

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So, I’ll be plunking down some big dollars soon to renew my season subscription. Fortunately, I’m raising a junior theater freak so maybe I can just blame it on her. “But Dave, Vivien would LOVE to see Annie” …. “Well, yes. I KNOW she’s already seen it, but THIS time I hear the dog’s actually going to go out into the audience and do tricks!”

That sounds believable, right?

This post was written in response to MamaKat’s writing prompt: Who was the last person to call you? What did they want?

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elleroy was here



Today’s post is brought to you by MamaKat: Name your five current favorite things.

This task seems easy enough. Except it says current … so I can’t pick Donny Osmond or leg warmers or anything like that. (Both still totally awesome, by the way.) And actually, since I’m limited to only five things, I think I’m going to impose a few more rules on myself.

  • I can’t list any people. People can’t be favorite things. That’s just demeaning. (Plus I might do something tragic like list Johnny Depp before my kids or something.)
  • I can only list one food. (Otherwise, duh, this list would just be five different foods.)
  • I can’t let this post sound like a sponsored advertisement by extolling the virtues of my favorite hair product or anything like that. (Yawn.)

So, with those extra rules now in place, I give you …

MY FIVE CURRENT FAVORITE THINGS

1. Mt. Tam Cheese

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There are no words to describe the amazing delicacy that is Mt. Tam. Screw that. Here are the words: It’s made by the cheese WIZARDS at Cowgirl Creamery. It’s their signature cheese and, if you must know, also mine. (Yes, I have a signature cheese. What of it?) It’s an award-winning, decadent, buttery, triple-cream cheese that is said to have “a  mellow, earthy flavor reminiscent of white mushrooms.” I got a full wheel of it for Christmas and (truth?) I ate the entire thing by myself in two sittings. If you reach toward my plate when I’m eating it, I make no apologies for what could happen to you or your grabby, little fingers.

2. H&M Shirt … AND … 3. Skinny Mirror

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Is it confusing that I’ve combined numbers 2 and 3. What am I saying? You guys are geniuses. You’ll keep up, right?

I bought that shirt on a trip to New York at the H&M Store on 5th Avenue. I walked right past Saks, Prada, and Salvatore Ferragama and strolled my frugal ass into the H&M Store. I love that place. Because I can usually get six great things for less than three digits in under an hour. (God, I hate shopping.) It’s colorful (I’m often accused of wearing too much black), feminine (always a good thing when I want to prove I’m a girl), and goes in at exactly the right place on my waistline. And if I had to do it all over again, I would buy five of them. Seriously, it takes ten pounds off me.

And speaking of taking pounds off … I want a skinny mirror. But not just any skinny mirror. I want the one that hangs in the girls’ bathroom on the first floor of Vivien’s school building. (And now that I’m posting it here publicly, there go my chances of stealing it off the wall. Geez, I am such an IDIOT!) Over the years, I’ve taken a few friends to gaze into its fallacious … fictional … flattering reflection. And it’s never disappointed. Honestly, it’s probably best that I don’t have this magical tool all to myself. For I might spend the rest of my days staring at a distorted image of my own hips. Just call me Narcissus.

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4. Modern Family

If you’ve seen the show, you can stop reading. Because you get it. Modern Family is funny. It makes me laugh. And, honestly, I don’t laugh a lot. I’m a hard person to make laugh out loud. So I love it when I find the rare show that can accomplish that. Over my lifetime, there really haven’t been very many … 30 Rock, Frasier, Friends, Newsradio, Seinfeld, Cheers, Taxi and Arrested Development. That’s about it. So thanks, Dunphys and Pritchetts. And please, keep it coming.

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5. Writing Prompts That Ask for Lists

Number 5 is sort of my Being John Malkovich moment in this blog post. It’s the self-aware part where I actually list “writing lists” as an item on my 5 Favorite Things list. Does that make sense? Well, it’s true. Nothing makes for an easier entry. So thanks, MamaKat, for yet another opportunity to list out a few mundane things about myself and then have the nerve to call it “writing.”

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What are some of YOUR favorite things right now?

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I Don't Like Mondays Blog Hop


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