With the holidays coming, I’ve been cleaning house to make way for the onslaught of decorations, presents and bodies that will soon be invading (cough, sputter) … I mean … adorning this space. And, in my travels, I came across a little project that, due to my failing memory and organizational skills, I’ve overlooked for a few years now.
In the interest of maintaining it for my children, I emailed my family for a little assistance in, literally, filling in the blanks.
From: Michele
Subject: Christmas 2010
Date: November 9, 2012 6:21:52 PM CST
To: My Family
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Yes, I said Christmas 2010.
Oops, I have a lovely memory book someone gave me with the family name embossed on the front leather cover. I’m supposed to record a small number of annual holiday memories each year. For TWENTY YEARS. (I know. I’m exhausted already.) Whatever. It’s a nice keepsake that my kids can fight over after I’m dead. Anyway, it would seem that I forgot to write in it for the past TWO years. (Yes, fine. I’m a complete dumb ass, not to mention a crappy mother.) And now I’m trying to play catch up with this whole project.
2011 is not a problem. I can remember 11 months ago clearly. But … apparently … my brain’s hard drive only holds 12 months capacity. Because I’m not even sure I celebrated Christmas 2010. Were we all living in Louisiana back then? Was I a mom yet or was I still in high school? Who was the freakin’ president at the time? I just can’t remember.
That’s where you equally senile fools come in.
Following are the questions I have to answer. Can ANY of you answer ANY of them? Even in pathetic, fragmented pieces? Or should I just wing it and say we all vacationed together on the French Riviera that year? WHO IS EVER GONNA KNOW, RIGHT?!!?
Anyway, good luck on your quiz. Remember, there are no wrong answers! I will accept anything. Including fiction. As long as we all agree, it’s not a lie.
- Holidays Visits & Visitors …
- Christmas Eve …
- Christmas Day …
- Christmas Dinner …
- Special Gifts …
- Things We Want to Remember …
Thanks, all. See you at Thanksgiving!
Michele* * * * * * * * * *
Sadly, no one has responded yet. I’m guessing they’re all busy gathering notes and pictures for me as a big, elaborate family surprise. Or maybe they’re just planning some sort of intervention. So I’m putting it out there to you guys.
Anyone want to take a stab at rewriting my Christmas 2010?
I’ll compile my favorite answers in a future post. Hell, I might even log them into the memory book if nothing real presents itself. Oh, I’ll save you a piece of pumpkin pie. Dave makes a pretty good one so that’s nothing to sneeze at. (Plus, you should never sneeze on food. Especially pie.) Just use above the questions as your template and share your answers in the comments. Very few of you knew me in 2010 so I’m expecting a little creative fiction.
Perhaps you can make me interesting. Or an astronaut. Either way, thanks for playing.
OldDogNewTits 
I think you should gather the family every year, and take all of the questions and work the answers into an ongoing story (continued annually) of your family as superheroes!
Bet it’s something they’ll all look forward to, and remember…
Going to put my thinking cap on and see if I can remember what happened that Christmas. It’s kind of a blur. 😉
IT’S A BILL AND JUD CHRISTMAS!
Holidays Visits & Visitors…Bill and Jud. Bill and Jud both apologized for Mrs. J’s absence. Apparently, she was wrapped up in other things.
Christmas Eve …We made a lovely ham that Bill and Jud brought. It was delicious. Really, so nice of them to travel all that way AND bring us assorted fresh pork meats.
Christmas Day …We woke up to Bill and Jud making us sausage and bacon with eggs for breakfast.
Christmas Dinner …Pork chops.
Special Gifts …Cheese of the Month club. Bill and Jud gave us some of their homemade beer and a small bag of oregano. Sweet.
I gave them a few books I thought they could use. One about California, one about how to brew homemade beer, and Grammar 101.
Things We Want to Remember …Never to invite Bill and Jud to our house again. They made a huge mess, set up an inflatable pool in our back yard and kept asking me if I had any barley and hops . Who has that handy in their house? Never mind, our neighbors were not very happy about Bill sweeping their yards with his metal detector. Also, I have a hunch about where Mrs. J was. Oh man!
Dude! You are hysterical!
Okay, if the truth doesn’t present itself soon, that is my 2010 entry. Verbatim!
Thanks, Mel!
I’ve given you such a precious, warm memory…pig slaughtering pot heads. When your kids are reading this to their kids it will be so special. 🙂
Oh dear lord, Jud and Bill came back? With bacon?
Ah yes the J&B legacy!
What else…Christmas in NYC! Waiting on line for Santa (you can recycle the amusement park line embarassment). You (accidentally) almost walked out of Saks/Macy’s wearing that bracelet you tried on. Seeing the tree at Rockerfeller Center, and falling on your ass while ice skating. The olfactory nightmare in the Starbucks bathroom (why oh why did you let the kids have hot chocolate while out in the cold weather). The guard in a santa suit standing outside the strip club.
OMG! I remember the guard now. That was SOOOO hilarious. And that bracelet! Did you know that I got all the way back to the hotel before I realized I was still wearing it? And then had to walk all the way back. So the store alarm went off when I walked back INTO Henri Bendel. And we laughed and laughed.
I can’t believe you still remember that, BT. Good times ….