In the interest of saving time, Mel and I are employing an old writer’s trick for our KetchupWithUs link-up parties. We set a timer for 10 minutes and start typing, literally writing about whatever pops into our heads for that time period. Then, we hit “publish.” Feel free to use the same idea for your post OR link up whatever you want. Easiest. Link-up. Ever. Aaaaaaand ….. go!

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Ten minutes. Ummmmm. What can I say in ten minutes? Especially with a self-inflicted stomach ache brought on by an overdose of Maple Nut Goodies. It’s Valentine’s Day after all. Stupid Nut Goodies. My stomach is literally killing me.

I guess it’s because I missed breakfast. Oh, and lunch. I had a meeting today (with wonderful people who are probably reading this blog post … but I mean the compliment sincerely!). So I skipped breakfast. Sadly normal. And then worked right on through lunch. By the time I walked back into my house, it was 2pm and there they were. The little bastards. Sitting right there on the table next to all the other Valentine’s loot.

Honestly, I don’t even know why I like them. I don’t like any other candy that isn’t chocolate. Not any. And yet I give these somewhat nasty, über sweet candies a hall pass. I think it’s because they remind me of being a kid. My parents sold health food back then. As a little side thing. So we never had this kind of stuff in the house. Ever. I was exposed to some of the nastiest health foods you can imagine. Soy burgers (before anybody knew what the hell soy even was) and some orange drink that tasted like a blend of chewable orange vitamins and paste. It literally formed a froth at the top. (shudder)

But … when I went to the mall, all bets were off. Especially if we went to Sears where they used to have a candy counter with a wall of glass boxes filled with all kind of candy. I only remember two kinds. The first were the red-shelled pistachios. I wanted them so badly so I could pretend the shells were my fingernails. But I HATED the nuts. So that plan never really flew with my parents.

And, of course, the Maple Nut Goodies. Jawbreaking little pieces of Heaven. My dad liked them, too. So we used to enjoy them together. He still picks them up for me from time to time. And I, now an adult with my own money and a car enabling me to buy them 24/7/365, still look at every bag as though it could be the last. And I eat them like the fat kid in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory.

Augustus Gloop.

You guys didn’t think I forgot his name, did you? Seriously? You know me better than that. Well, Viva las Nut Goodies. And on with the show!

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer from last time is …

Shakespeare’s Mom

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