Tag Archives: #footballforwomen

The Groundhog Day Tradition at THIS House


It’s that time of year again. Groundhog Day. Also known as the woodchuck, the whistle-pig and even the notorious thickwood badger, groundhogs are accomplished hibernators, capable of holing up to live off their own fat and sleep for up to six months. (Is it weird that I’m jealous of the groundhog?). And thus, since 1841, they have been traumatized annually with the tradition of forceful extraction from their protective winter burrows for the sheer purpose of human entertainment.

Also known as Groundhog Day.

(Humans are such assholes.)

Truth? My kids and I have been following this tradition for years. Even though our hearts are always bleeding for the trembling varmint, who is always named “Phil.” We enjoy watching the annual televised festivities in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania so much that, many years ago, we actually fashioned a little version of our own to observe the special day in our household. Of course, we don’t own a groundhog.

You guys already know where I’m going with this, right?

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Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you … Punxsutawney Milo.

Here’s how it goes down. All family members must congregate with Milo (typically against his will) in the laundry room. The doorway to that room is a central point in an adjoining hallway. Prior to this congregation, a tasty treat has been placed at each end of the hallway. One is labeled Spring and the other Winter.

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Here’s what we went with today.

With a simple count of three, Milo is placed on the floor of the laundry room as we wait “quietly” until he is ready to leave. Whichever direction he turns upon exiting determines the coming weather for the next six weeks. It also determines what treat we get to tear into at that very moment.

Editor’s Note: At one time, I considered putting a TASTY treat on one end of the hallway and SOMETHING MOST UNSAVORY (e.g., canned spinach, a list of household chores, a pile of cat poo, etc.) at the other end … to make things a whole lot more interesting. But that just seemed mean. And it also could jeopardize Milo’s safety in the years he chose poorly.

So, what did Milo predict for this year?

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Bundle up, buttercup. Looks like we’re in for six more weeks of Winter. And cookies for breakfast!

Happy Groundcat Day, everyone!

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elleroy was here
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You are Cordially Invited to the 2nd Annual #FootballForWomen Twitter Party


Curtain up! Light the lights!
You’ve got nothing to hit but the heights!

(Noticing that all of your eyes just rolled in unison) What? I know that’s a theater reference. Duh, it’s from Gypsy. What am I … an idiot? (pregnant pause, as in third trimester) Well, actually, I kind of am. At least when it comes to football. But we’ll just keep that between us. That’s why I had a little fun last year on Superbowl Sunday while at a friend’s football viewing party by hosting my own private #FootballForWomen party on Twitter. Actually, it was how I first got to know my friend Mel that I’m always writing about here at ODNT. Plus a whole mess of other certifiably crazy delightfully funny people, too. It was a small group but we laughed our asses off that day.

So I’m doing it again … this time with Mel as my co-host! (‘Cause she’s way better at making those fancy napkin sculptures.)

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This  year, we rented extra chairs and I’m doubling our hot wings order. Plus, I heard Mel’s bringing a chocolate fountain. So we’re hoping to see lots of new faces at the party. Anyone and everyone is invited. Even the boys. It’s the one place you can be this Sunday where you can make fun of a player’s haircut or the way he puts his hand on his hip every time he stands on the sidelines.

So, like I said last February, “If you’re on Twitter and you’re sitting around Sunday confused … or bored … or just seeking a laugh between plays, look for us on #FootballForWomen. It’s sort of like #shitgirlssay, football-style. And don’t be afraid to put in your (Kick it through the thing!! Kick it through the thing!!) two cents.”

GOOOOOO, FOOTBALL GUYS!


* * * * * Got five seconds? * * * * *

Please click that FANCY PANTS PINK BALL (above) to visit the Circle of Moms site and vote for ODNT for Top 25 Funny Moms.

I need this, people! I just outed myself as a total football spaz.

vote daily ’til February 13. Thanks!

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Busy day of Mardi Gras parades, Superbowl parties & #footballforwomen


Today’s Weight … 121.3

“Losing weight during Mardi Gras season is going to be harder than I thought,” said me, with a mouth full of doughnut.

Don’t get it? Check this post.

I just dropped off my family and an entire truckload of crap at the float for their parade.  My daughter’s on the bottom level with a bunch of friends.  My son’s up top with one friend and a bunch of crazy-looking people I don’t know.  Among them is a tattooed lady in Harley Davidson assless (is that hyphenated?) chaps.  And she’s 72. (Shudder.)  Dave will be running up and down the ladder checking on both of the kids throughout the parade.  And I’ll be running behind the float trying to break my boy’s two-story fall with my body.

Well, that was my personal Facebook post today anyway.  (It’s a joke. And, yes, I know it was hiLARious!)

I will not really be chasing behind the float.  I will be at the end of the parade waiting with friends and family to see my little people on their inaugural float ride (read: rite of passage in these parts) and hoping to get their attention long enough for at least one blurry photograph. (Sniff.)

And we will be dashing straight from the parade (and its after-party) festivities to a Superbowl party.  Those of you who have been following along know I’m not a huge sports fan.  Of course, it would have been entirely different if the Saints were playing today. Sigh.

So, if you’re on Twitter and you’re sitting around today confused … or bored … or just seeking a laugh between plays, look for us on #footballforwomen.  It’s sort of like #shitgirlssay, football-style. And don’t be afraid to put in your (Kick it through the thing!! Kick it through the thing!! ) two cents.

Go … uh … team!

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