Tag Archives: Girl Scout cookies

From Girl Scout cookies to baby Michael Jackson


Today’s Weight … 121.4

Not bad considering there was late night hummus and crackers involved.

Don’t get it? Check this post.

You’ll be happy to know that, 24 hours later, the Girl Scout cookie sale total now stands at a somewhat respectable 93, thanks to a certain restaurateur (that spelling is correct – I looked it up) in town who ordered 39!

Yes, it’s a weird number.  But when someone orders 39 boxes of cookies from your child, you don’t ask …“Why?  Why not an even 40?  Do you need a number that is equally divisible by 13? Should I be worried about that? You do know that these are Girl Scout cookies, right? Wholesome Girl Scout cookies.” Instead, you simply smile and say, “Why, thank you, ma’am, for supporting the Louisiana Girl Scouts Council.  May I ask where you would like your cookies delivered? And, my, what a lovely blouse you’re wearing today.”

And, if you’re wondering what 93 boxes of cookies will score you, take comfort in the fact that my girl has earned the theme patch (60+), the chump 2012 patch (36+) and the (lame) participation certificate (1).  I think that last one was created for the sad, little paste-eaters. (“You’re all winners to me!”)  

After these patches comes stuff (i.e. hoarder-house-clutter).  Incentives like sneaker-shaped pencil pouches, plush giraffe neck pillows and glittery soccer balls are among the many exciting prizes she can earn to help fill the nooks and crannies of our home.  I’m not too worried about them.  But I know she is.  Poor thing never stood a chance with my two-day sales blitz. Anyway, please wish my sweet girl luck tomorrow as she auditions for the school Variety Show.  She’s done it a few years now and this year will be performing a great little number she picked out on her own. Enjoy!

Dave & I offered to be her back up.  She declined. And we had moves and everything. Sigh.

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Nothing brightens my day like selling Girl Scout cookies. (Did that sound believable?)


Today’s Weight … 122.0

Pshhhhh.  I laugh at you, two tenths of a pound.  You will not deter me.

Don’t get it? Check this post.

It seems that everything I need to do lately needs to be done … “by tomorrow!” I’m forgetting so very much these days.  Stress? Mom brain? Old age? The formaldehyde in my nail polish?  Who knows?  But since I just learned that our Girl Scout cookie order form is due the day after tomorrow, I sent this email out today.  If you happen to live in my area and are actually interested in ordering some overpriced treats (now with no trans fats!), let me know.  Otherwise, you can just enjoy reading the last minute pitch of a desperate and tired woman.

Dear (unfortunate soul selected from my personal email database for this hapless sales effort because you live nearby and I don’t think you have a girl scout in your close circles),

This is the weakest sales pitch you will ever receive.

My girl is selling Girl Scout cookies.  Again. And I’m helping.  Again.
 .
The boxes are $3.50 each. If you want some, please let me know as soon as you can.  Here are your cookie choices –
  • Savannah Smiles (like Lemon Coolers)
  • Trefoils (shortbread)
  • Do-Si-Dos (sandwich peanut butter)
  • Samoas (caramel coconut)
  • Dulce de Leche (with milk chocolate chips)
  • Thank You Berry Much (taste like Pop Tarts to me)
  • Tagalongs (chocolate peanut butter)
  • Thin Mints (unless you live under a rock, you know what they are)
If you live nearby, we’ll deliver them to you.  And we almost never remember to collect any money, so we’re really the best deal in town. Also, if you don’t want any cookies or just want to ignore my email, no sweat.  Two minutes after I hit send on this message, the phone will probably ring and I’ll take the call and one of the kids will run in needing something from me “immediately” while I’m talking and the buzzer to whatever I’m cooking on the stove will go off just as it’s beginning to boil over and I will completely forget I even sent this email. I think I hear the phone now …
So far, we’ve sold thirty boxes … which is nothing in the scoutly world of patch-earning, but it’s not bad for two hours without leaving the house.  I’m expecting great things and will, of course, keep you posted …. as I know this kind of information propels you merrily through your day. Which is really why I am here.

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