Would you believe me if I told you breast implants can SAVE your life?

While the world over debates the safety and health ramifications of breast implants, there’s one woman in Moscow who is counting her blessings for ‘adding on’ five years ago. This 40-year-old woman was recently stabbed in the chest by her husband in the midst of an obviously heated argument. He was aiming for her heart … but what he hit was her boob.  And the knife became lodged in one of her silicone breast implants, the apparently enormous gifts she received from the very same man years earlier.

The woman was, of course, rushed immediately to the hospital and is now doing just fine.  She’s already replaced the implant and left her homicidal husband.

As I see it, she’s now fixed one big leaky boob and dumped an even bigger, more stabby one.



6 responses to “Would you believe me if I told you breast implants can SAVE your life?

  1. That’s a bit extreme for a “can save your life”.
    But I’m thinking I’ll get fitted for mine tomorrow.
    Maybe with a sound chip that plays “Hey good lookin” every time I take off my shirt…
    (or would that be weird since I’m a guy?)

  2. Awesome! They’re like “a bumper on the front of a car,” and they can stop bullets, knives, flaming pieces of metal… even Hezbollah rockets.

    I’d add that they are a beautiful, sexy, even mesmerizing bumper / armor / rocket-proof vest. But as a man, I’m inclined to overlook their purely practical uses.

    You definitely should get some, if only for your personal safety!

  3. This story might present yet another point in the silicone versus saline argument. Bet that knife/bullet/shrapnel would have torn through a saline implant like butter. No sticky, lifesaving goo to get caught up in. Just water.

    Oh, and I have to ask. El Guapo – Three Amigos and Kwyjibo – Simpsons? Am I right?

  4. Three Amigos.
    And you are the only who has ever caught the reference.

    • “For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous guy who wants to kill us. But, as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own person El Guapo who also happens to be the actual El Guapo.”

  5. El Guapo gets a plethora of gifts on his birthday.

    And yes, Homer Simpson is a kwyjibo–the original, in fact. The word scores huge points in Scrabble.

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