Okay, who’s thinking about War Games now? I can’t hear those words without hearing a monotone, oversynthesized robotic computer voice, too. Admit it. If you’re a child of the 80s, that’s where your brain went when you read this title. Matthew Broderick, the WOPR, “The only winning move is not to play” … you know what I mean.
Anyway, I’m home with my boy today who is as sick as a dog. At the moment, we’re attempting a little nap, which is likely only to result in 15 minutes of fitful rest. The kid’s never been much of a sleeper. And the cat, who I may bake into a pie very soon, is hellbent on keeping him awake right now. For those who don’t know, Milo is a very loud and needy cat.
So, with only 15 minutes or so of potential free (writing) time today, I thought it would be fun to play a goofy little game inspired by an idea from my friend, Chris.
We’ve all heard them. From hooters to headlights, there are a million names for boobs. And, in this very special month dedicated to breast health, let’s see if we can come up with a boob word for every letter of the alphabet. Using the comment boxes below, the first person would list an A-word. Then, the next person would list a B-word. And so on. Follow?
And here are the rules:
- You may only submit one answer per comment.
- You may play more than once but the same person can’t answer for two letters in a row.
- Funny is fabulous. Racy is fine. But so vulgar that I will start crying and run screaming to hide under my covers ’til morning is not. Be nice!
And I’ll start us off with the first boob word. A is for … (see comments below)
OldDogNewTits 
Airbags
Bazangas! (no idea how to spell it.)
Chesticles
dairy pillows
earmuffs
funbags
The Girls
For H, hooters might be the obvious choice. But convention is boring, so how about Ho-Hos?
The letter I is difficult, but it reminds me of my pre-expert days… Itty Bitty. (Yes, I was on that committee in high school.)
How about “jugs”!
knockers
Lollipops
melons
my Momma and her sis call them mo-mo’s…don’t know why, but now I find myself saying the same thing to my 11 year old!!
nay-nays
orbs
play dough
queens
Good one, Red. I couldn’t come up with anything for Q.
Now for R:
Rack
Soft serve cones
the twins!
UNIQUE & Fabulous, oh wait that describes mine…HA! Just kidding. “U” is a hard letter to come up with! Certainly NOBODY wants Uniboob!
Udders? (oh, that’s just terrible …)
Isn’t udders what got you here, OldDog?
Well, for four years they certainly were! And now? Well … yeah. Sigh.
Umba Wumbas?
Where are the creative minds for a V word?
Volvos…that’s all i got
How about vanity plates?
Voluptuous mounds?
Velvet goldmines.
Fabulous! Nice brainstorming. Thanks, girls. On to W!
We seemed to have lost the guys. Are they only good for one round each? Maybe they are still recovering from their last round…
You haven’t lost THIS guy. I just couldn’t come up with anything for V. This is a fun game! Now for W…
How about water balloons? (Works best for saline fakies.)
X-hibit A and X-hibit B?
We’ll have to go with something like that to get past X. There’s just not a lot of words for boobs that begin with X.
Ying-Yangs…we gotta finish the alphabet!
Zeppelins.
Very well played, ODNT citizens. Now taking ideas for our next game. Thoughts?
Talk about trendsetters!
OD, I see you actually beat Her Bloggessness–yes, the one and only Jenny Lawson–to the punch on this. When I saw her column today at Sexis about nicknames for boobs, I thought, “Yeah, we already covered that, from A to Z.” She’s good, but she’s days behind ODNT.
Where’s the like button on this blog?