Across the globe, breast cancer is the most common form of cancer affecting women today. According to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation, “it is estimated that more than 1.6 million new cases of breast cancer occurred among women worldwide in 2010.”
Generally speaking, the more developed countries tend to have higher rates of incidence, which has been attributed to lifestyle and reproductive factors as well as lower screening rates and incomplete reporting in the developing countries. In any event, I think it’s time we all became a little more multi-lingual today and learned to talk about boobs wherever we find ourselves. You never know when that skill may come in handy. So, without further ado, I bring you our second interactive ODNT game …
Boobs Around the World
… and welcome you to play along. The rules here are very loose so have some fun with it, amigos!
- Play as often as you like but please don’t take two consecutive turns.
- Please include the word and its language in your comment.
- And, if you’re feeling especially creative, try using it in a sentence. Then, tell us what it means.
I’ll go first again to show you how it’s done.
OldDogNewTits 
Seins (French) S’il vous plait se deplacer. Vos seins sont bloquant ma vision de l’ecran du televiseur.
Which means … Please move. Your boobs are blocking my view of the TV screen.
Oh, yeah, and cheating with online language translator sites is TOTALLY encouraged here. http://translate.google.com/# Have fun. 🙂
Fine, fine. Mom always said, “When there’s no one around to play with, you need to learn to entertain yourself.” Or maybe it was “Get the hell out of here. Stop bothering me and find something to do with yourself.” Either way, my imagination hasn’t failed me yet so thanks, Mom. (You know I love you, right?)
Cycki (Polish) Ludzie nie lubią obcych gier językowych o cycki.
Which means … People do not like foreign language games about boobs.
Oh, we most certainly do like games about boobs, and the alphabet one was lots of fun. It’s just that some of us don’t know any languages besides English.
Okay, I just went to Babelfish and put in the sentence, “Your breasts are looking quite perky today,” then asked it to translate that into Italian. (I figure this would be a good expression to learn, in case I ever meet a nice Italian lady and want to offer her a compliment.) It came back with:
I vostri seni stanno osservando oggi molto pieni di vita.
Now, here’s where the fun starts. Take that Italian sentence and translate it back to English (using the same website), and you get:
Your breasts are observing today many full loads of life.
Do you think this would get me slapped?
From Google Translate in German:
Die meisten Frauen würden Sie denn selbst sagen ihre Brüste sind perky slap. Persönlich bevorzuge ich zu hören, sind sie unwiderstehlich.
Which means:
Most women would slap you for even saying their boobs are perky. Personally I prefer to hear they are irresistible.
Excellent!
tieten (Dutch) .. De zin: “He, opa! Stoppen met staren naar mijn tieten! ‘kan van pas komen in het buitenland.
Which means … The phrase, “Hey, grandpa! Stop staring at my boobs!” might come in handy when abroad.
And if the older gentleman responds with…
“Je suis désolé, je ne parle pas Néerlandais. J’espère que vous me pardonnerez pour regarder, parce que vos fixement seins sont irrésistibles!”
…he is a French tourist and has told you the following:
I am sorry, I do not speak Dutch. I hope you will forgive me for staring, because your breasts are irresistible!
If you were in the Ukraine, you might hear
Чарівні груди відволікає мене від моїх борщ. І як же ніхто не чув володіє українською?
(Your irresistible breasts are distracting me from my borscht. And how come no one here speaks Ukrainian?)
I think I started a trend with the irresistible breasts. (These two are easy to train.) When in Japan:
あなたが私の魅力的なおっぱいを凝視して維持するつもりなら、少なくとも私に酒を買ってください！
If you’re going to keep staring at my irresistible boobs, at least buy me a sake!
Μου να έχουν εκπαιδευτεί και να σκεφτούμε μόνο ακαταμάχητο Στήθη. (Greek)
I have been trained to only think about irresistible breasts.
Oldgognewtits – Congrats on getting your profile pic sorted!
You guys are hilarious!
And, Guap, I have no idea what I finally did right and could likely never do it again.
So, OldDog, it sounds like you manage your blog the same way I do mine: just start clicking on lots of stuff until it does what I want, then wish I could remember how I did it.
Now, instead of a computer generated quilt pattern, you are represented by the nice graphic of a brunette lady in a green top. I knew something was different! (Get used to hearing that last statement, because it’s the same thing people will say when you tell them about your newly installed chest ornaments.)
We seem to have lost the foreign languages. If Brian went to Sweden, he could ask:
Hur mår du njuter av ditt nyinstallerade bröstet smycken?
How are you enjoying your newly installed chest ornaments?
And when I get tired of Sweden I can jet on down to Portugal (or Brazil) and ask the local ladies this:
“Você prometerá não me golpear se eu lhe faço uma pergunta pessoal? Aqueles ornamento da caixa foram instalados artificial, ou cresceram naturalmente? Uma ou outra maneira, olham irresistíveis!”
Which means:
“Will you promise not to slap me if I ask you a personal question? Were those chest ornaments artificially installed, or did they grow naturally? Either way, they look irresistible!”
Whether they answer “artificial” or “real,” I can tell them:
“Eu conheço uma senhora que olhe como uma cruz entre Amber Tamblyn e Janet Jackson, e teve algum instalada.”
Translation:
“I know a lady who looks like a cross between Amber Tamblyn and Janet Jackson, and she had some installed.”
Of course, I won’t say anything, but will just excuse myself walk away fast if the answer is:
“Não é nenhum de seu negócio como minha caixa começ a maneira que é, assim que começ perdido antes que meu noivo remova artificial sua cara!”
(It is none of your business how my chest got the way it is, so get lost before my boyfriend artificially removes your face!)
…excuse myself *and* walk away… (Always proofread BEFORE clicking “Submit”)
If I were in Russia, I’d say:
Это слишком холодно для моего непреодолимого груди.
It’s too cold here for my irresistible boobs.
In honor of my son’s current homework assignment, I have chosen the dead language of Latin to communicate my next point.
Tu tres insanit. Et dum ludit Boobs omnino hortamur vos ne in pellentesque ipsum, ut spero quoque doppelganger a list can subsisto sic EGO EXERCITUS de latest post crappy at amet.
Which means … You three are crazy. And, while I totally encourage you to keep playing Boobs Around the World, I hope you will also go list a doppelganger on that post so I can stop worrying about my latest crappy attempt at a game.
In Greece I would say:
Δεν είμαι σε θέση να παίξει το παιχνίδι φάντασμα ζώντος ανθρώπου σας. Κανείς δεν μπορεί να πάρει τα μάτια τους από το στήθος μου αρκετό καιρό για να δω το πρόσωπό μου.
I am unable to play your doppelganger game. No one can take their eyes off of my breasts long enough to see my face.
(Did that get me out of my assignment?)
In German:
Sich mehr die Anne beschreibt, mehr denke ich, ich würde genießen wirklich, sie persönlich zu treffen… weil es klinge wie ihre Boobs bin phänomenal in jeder möglicher Sprache!
(The more Anne describes herself, the more I think I’d really enjoy meeting her in person… because it sounds like her boobs are phenomenal in any language!)
Brian, If we were in France, I would say:
Mes seins sont phénoménaux que le début.
My phenomenal boobs are just the beginning.
I love games about boobs! WOOO!
Okay, so I’m way late in the game, but I don’t care because this is certifiably awesome.
As a gal with her own set of magnificent boobs, I get ogled on a regular basis. The problem is that sometimes I can’t make eye contact, sometimes. Including a trip to a local restaurant (who will remain nameless but rhymes with The Golive Tarden), when a waiter asked “the gals” how many menus. I said, “They aren’t hungry, but I’ll need one take out menu.”
So MY phrase is, in Spanish:
“Oye, amigo, que tiene una cara. Los ojos de encima de la tapa.”
Which means:
“Hey, buddy, they have a face. Eyes up top.” 😀