Anyone remember I wrote a post I wrote recently about how I’m the one pulling up the rear in my book group? Oh, stop giggling. It just means I’m the weakest link … the lame duck … the caboose, if you will. And I suppose the illiterate apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Allow me to elaborate.
I volunteered at my children’s school book fair today and invited both of my kids to come visit during their recesses today so I could get them a little something while I was there with my credit card. Which reminds me … Parents, for the love of Scholastic, please give your kids enough money for these fundraising events. If I had a nickel for every kid we had to spot a little money, well … actually, if I had all those nickels, we probably wouldn’t have had a problem in the first place. But I digress.
As I was saying, me no read books. I mean … I should read books. I almost always like it when I do. But I still don’t. At least not unless I’m provoked. And today my kids took a page from the book of their mother. (Geez. That’s an ironic statement, isn’t it?)
In a library full of uplifting coming-of-age stories, exciting young adult novels and other timeless literary classics, let’s take a look at what we came home with from the BOOK fair today, shall we?
1. The Requisite Kitten Poster. In my day, “Hang in There” was about all we had. And it came on cheap, thin magazine paper folded into four squares. Not the high quality poster-thickness of “Cupcake Cutie.” We’ll have this one (gulp) for years.
2. A Yellow Highlighter. Duh, because it’s shaped like a candy-flavored lipgloss. AND because it’s lemon-scented. Me: Vivien, we already have a MILLION highlighters at home. Her: Not like THIS awesome one. Ours are sooooo boring. Pleeeeeeese.
3. An Eraser. Shaped like a $20 bill. Yes, it’s stupid. Yes, we already have a million. But, the fact is, we make A LOT of mistakes around here. So I succumbed.
4. MORE Erasers. Okay, now I’m just being stupid, right? But (hello???) did I mention that they were shaped like tiny plungers and toilets? YES way! Naturally, I bought three.
5. 2013 Guinness Book of World Records. “What? I am so getting books. See, Mama?”
6. Ramen Noodle Cookbook. I could blame it on the kids. I should blame it on the kids. But, seriously … there is a picture of Ramen Noodle SMORES on the front cover! Plus the book was only $10. That’s, like, one hundred packs of Ramen. WHY would I get the book? Seems like the question should be why would I NOT get the book?
Well, at least if they’re not at Harvard Medical School, they’ll know how to feed themselves. Even if it’s just Ramen Pepperoni & Cheese Casserole.
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Anticipation … anticipation is making me wait. (You people are all probably too young to get that reference. Sigh)