The Day I Saw The Conjuring (aka The Day I Nearly Peed My Pants in Chicago)

By now, I think most of you know I went to the BlogHer conference in Chicago last weekend with my friend, Mel. We had a very memorable experience, complete with a great many noteworthy events. Among them? THE CONJURING. (Thanks to Grace Hill Media.)

Why did I just force myself to re-watch this trailer? Why? Why would I do that so close to my bedtime?!!? (Shuddering, shaking off the creepy imagery and taking a deep breath) Thanks to our so-precious-I-wanted-to-put-him-in-my-purse concierge, we were lucky enough to see it at the ICON Theatre where things like 40-ounce bottles of Blue Moon and bacon popcorn are served.

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Yes. I said BACON. Which I’m pretty sure means “love” in Ancient Greek.

Now drunk anesthetized, bloated satiated and ready hyperventilating, we walked into the theater and took our seats. And damn if every preview wasn’t for a different horror movie. (Way to warm us up, ICON.)

And then it began.

I don’t think I’ve seen an R-rated horror movie in a decade. (Who am I kidding? As a mom, I barely break away from PG. Scary = Cruella DeVille) This film doesn’t give you a break for even a minute. And the fact that it is based (not loosely, it claims) on a very REAL story kept me on the edge of my seat … fine, on the edge of Mel’s lap … the entire time.

I’m not joking.

I’ve never had another woman (except my own mother) protect me from harm more than Mel did that day. She knows how I struggle with disturbing imagery. Profoundly. How it haunts me during the night and in my dreams, should I actually fall asleep. Let’s just say her hand and my eyes became very well acquainted. But I still managed to see some of it. And hear ALL of it. Sometimes that can even be worse.

Truth? There are a few scenes I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to shake. Ever. The story is about ghost hunters Ed & Lorraine Warren researching the terrifying events that took place at the Perron home in the 1970s. The family had five children. Five. Little. Girls. (I’m shaking my head.) I hate that kids were involved. The demonic apparitions there were so very vengeful and bloodthirsty. They literally chilled my bones. And it was obvious everyone around me felt exactly the same way. Throughout the entire film, the audience had two settings:

  1. Staring wide-eyed and whisper-quiet without blinking or even breathing at the screen … OR …
  2. Gasping, shouting and screaming involuntarily at the heinous and mounting displays of otherworldly evil

I won’t give it away.

I can’t give it away.

Oh, but I so want to warn you when not to look. But that’s not my job. I’m just so freakin’ glad Mel didn’t feel that way.

DO I RECOMMEND THE MOVIE? Well, yes. I do. As long as you can tolerate the fear. Or maybe if you have a wonderfully protective friend like Mel. Why is this one so different? For me, I think it can all be summed by the quote at the end of the movie.

“Diabolical forces are formidable. These forces are eternal, and they exist today. The fairy tale is true. The devil exists. God exists. And for us, as people, our very destiny hinges upon which one we elect to follow.” – Ed Warren

I swallowed hard when I read those words on the screen and wanted to head directly to the nearest church. I’m totally serious. It was, if you will, a helluva story. And from everything I read after seeing the film, the Perron family is completely pleased with the finished product. This story just resonated a little too close with me.

Or maybe it’s just because I kept thinking about Annabelle …

… and how much she looks like the 100-year-old doll my grandmother gave me as a child.

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Cue creepy music. Fade to black.

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5 responses to “The Day I Saw The Conjuring (aka The Day I Nearly Peed My Pants in Chicago)

  1. ohhhh no way, I am so proud of you for NOT WETTING your pants. Seriously I can’t watch the commercials for that movie, I get scared and grab the remote and turn the lights on…
    you are a BRAVE SOUL..and so pretty (I know this because I have hugged you. 😉 )

  2. I felt horrible for bringing you. I even got a warning text RIGHT AS I SAT DOWN (in the wrong seats, mind you) that said, “Scary movie is a bad idea.” Did I heed that warning? No. Of course not. The tough part of me (5%) was like, “NO WAY! We can totally do this.” The next sign should have been when we were in the “wrong seats.”

    But we did it! 🙂 We both kept each other safe through that movie. 🙂 xox

  3. Holy Exorcist Michele! You guys are brave. I know the bacon popcorn and Blue Moon’s probably took a little of the edge off, but wow – major kudos to you for getting through it. Disturbing imagery is tough for me too. I cry uncontrollably at the ASPCA commercials, so really – I’m in awe of you two!

  4. Pingback: My Top 12 Posts of 2014 – Not necessarily what I expected | OldDogNewTits

  5. Pingback: 5 Reasons to See The Conjuring 2 (Plus Prizes!) | OldDogNewTits

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