You guys know how I feel about cheese. But don’t get me wrong. I love my cupcakes, too.  Especially the oversized, heavily-frosted, gourmet variety that I can totally eat in one sitting. I laugh at the lightweights who need a knife so they can save the other half for later. Bunch of daisies. (Where’s your commitment, ladies?)

Truth? I love cupcakes so much that my girl and I were hooked on The Food Network’s Cupcake Wars for a while there. I even knew one of the contestants. (Hi, Linda!) But do we  … and by “we,” I mean weak, undisciplined women who would be insane enough to get into the car and drive to one of these butt-broadening machines for a late night snack at 11:45pm, safety be damned! … really need a cupcake ATM?

Well, yes. Apparently, we do. Because, thanks to Candace Nelson and Sprinkles Cupcakes in L.A., these bad boys are now popping up in cities around the country.

Fortunately, New Orleans has yet to get one. Or there would be no more late night blogging … no more taking extra time with the kids before bedtime … possibly no more sleep at all for me. (pause for effect) I would be … obsessed.

So please, Candace, do me and my ass a favor. (working up the nerve to yell at the nice cupcake lady) STAY THE HELL AWAY!

Confession:

I literally douse my kid’s birthday cake in Palmolive before disposing of it. To prevent a late night cake excavation from the kitchen trash can.

God, I wish that was a lie.

Because, Candace, as soon as you DO come to New Orleans, we both know I’m a goner. I can just see the park bench ad now …

Dammit, I’m in.

Linked to MamaKat’s writing prompt asking for something inspired by the word  “late.”

I did that. I used her word. I just added “night snack” after it.

I also added “night blogging” and “night cake excavation” to it, but that’s beside the point.