My mom is awesome. Most of you already know that. And she really needs her own blog. But, until then, you’ll have to settle for her too-few-and-far-between guest posts right here at ODNT. (Remember her last one about being a grandmother at Viv’s dance recital?) She knows that (with the play, my freelance work and life in general) I’m struggling to adhere to this 30 days of Blog Posts by Number Game. So she’s pitching in.
Seriously, is there any limit to what this woman will do for me?
Anyway, she sent me this little gem recently. She created it on her phone while waiting at the doctor’s office. Ingenuity at its finest. Enjoy.
1. The man next to me is coughing, sneezing and (I think) coming on to me. Lech.
2. My magazine is from December 2013.
3. The other magazines are all being held by people sicker than I. (I have now ditched my magazine.)
4. A lady who arrived after me is going before me.
5. The seats are too close together.
6. I think I hear the doctor coughing and sneezing.
7. For the past 15 minutes, no one has been called in.
8. It’s noon. Is the doctor having a lunch break?
9. My stomach just growled. A couple of people looked at me, so I turned and gestured at the lech next to me.
10. Thirty minutes later, the lech and I are the only ones left in the waiting room.
11. I pretend to want a magazine on a table across the room. I, of course, will not touch the magazine but just pretend to be interested with the cover as I bend over to stare at it.
12. An elderly man exits from the doctor’s inner office and heads to the lech, who evidently is not himself the patient but just a chauffeur.
13. The lech tells me to have a good day as he holds the door for the old man. I hold up my hand. (I have no idea how that translated with him or why I did it.)
14. I am now alone. And hungry. And I need to use the bathroom. Just as I reach for the key to the john, I am called.
Thanks, Gigi. I mean Mom.
You’re welcome back here anytime. Love you.
June is Blog Post by Numbers Month. Wanna play with Mel and me? Just write a “listy-type” post with a number in the title (ex. FOUR Reasons I Love Mayonnaise, SIX Things You Can Do With A Paper Clip). Then link back to us and tweet us about it so we can include you on June 30th in our final list: (Number-Yet-To-Be-Determined) Great Bloggers Who Played the Blog Post by Numbers Game!
1. I wonder if any magazines have published stories on whether you can transit germs via waiting-room magazines.
2. I wonder if any magazines have published an article on whether you can get germs from your doctor.
3. Waiting rooms should offer snacks. Sure that’s a health risk, but we’re all going to get sick from the magazines anyway. Or the doctor.
I love your mom’s posts! I can see where you get your wit from. Honestly, if you didn’t say it was your mom, I would have thought it was you that wrote it. Hi Gigi!
You always make me laugh. Letch. A new friend, for sure! 🙂
Great list. I really enjoyed this.
Very witty!! Funny when I go to the doctor a lot of the same thoughts come up:)