1. Bikinis. The good kind that actually provided more coverage than my bra and underwear. Except, back then, they probably wore bloomers and petticoats as underwear. So the women probably still complained.

2. Kitty Litter. Which was considered innovative because, up to that point, cat owners everywhere had to use sand.. SAND!

3. Polaroid Cameras. At one time, this was technology at its finest.

4. Penicillin. Early slogan on ads all over America: “Pencillin cures Gonorrhea in just 4 hours! See your doctor today!” Can you imagine … “Hey, Mom. What’s gonorrhea?”

5. Slinky. My brother and I typically each got one of these in our Christmas stockings. And we typically destroyed them by New Year’s.

6. Elmer’s Glue. From the same company who gave us milk, butter and other looking-suspiciously-like-glue dairy products. 

7. Electric Blankets. According to an early newstory, GE tested all of its electric blankets on a straw-stuffed dummy named Maggie whose underwear contained insulated copper wires which gave out heat to approximate a human’s normal body temperature. (awkward pause) Boring but true!

8. Tupperware. Because tuna casserole freshness was reason enough to have a few midday martinis back then.

9. Morton’s Salt. “Help Keep Your Family Goiter Free!” Ah, the merits of increasing your salt intake.

And last but certainly not least …

10. My dad. He doesn’t help with disease prevention, simplify cat care or even make a slinkity sound. Yet he still manages to be the hands down favorite on this list for me. Because he’s my dad. And today is his birthday.

* * * * * * * * * *

So wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, won’t you stop and take a moment to raise your glass to my dad? I couldn’t ask for a better father. It is my privilege to share him with the world.

Happy Birthday, Dad.