Tag Archives: Prince

Kiss My Ass, 2016


A few weeks ago, I was having a crappy day and my friend, Vanessa, shared a short video clip with me. I can always count on her to make me laugh with any number of crazy viral videos circling the globe. This one was easily among the best.

If you watch John Oliver, you’ve probably already seen it. It’s called … quite simply … Fuck You, 2016. (PLEASE don’t play it in front of your kids.)

You can’t watch it without laughing. And thinking of your own misfortunes of the past year. She and I have traded the tagline and meme’d a million little things in our lives in the past few weeks.

Like this …

Or this ….

Or even this.

The circus freak sideshow of the election aside, 2016 really was a year for the shit-stained books, wasn’t it? Racially-provoked violence all over the country the likes of which we haven’t seen in decades; the horrific, alligator incident at Disney World (I can still barely speak of it); Harambe, the slain gorilla; one of the deadliest shootings in U.S. history in Orlando; Gatlinburg and the Smoky Mountains going up in flames; the Bastille attack in Nice, France; the catastrophic flooding in my Katrina-adopted hometown of Baton Rouge … the list goes unmercifully on and on.

Celebrity deaths included … to name only a few … David Bowie, Prince, Alan Rickmann, Gene Wilder, Muhammad Ali, Harper Lee, Garry Shandling, Florence Henderson, Alan Thicke, Natalie Cole, George Michael, Carrie Fisher and Pat Harrington, Jr. from One Day at a Time.

As far as I’m concerned, 2016 can get bent.

And, while I certainly can’t compete with the world’s problems, it wasn’t a stellar year for me either. In addition to my car getting nailed (twice) and a few other calamities about which I’m not allowed to write here, I celebrated my birthday last summer by catching my hair on fire. Fuck you, trick candle company.

What about you? 

What did 2016 do to you?

(Seriously, I want to know.)


Editor’s Note: Before I could hit publish … Debbie Reynolds. Good God, 2o16. Stand the hell down.

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An Ode to 1983


Here’s my goofy, little entry for this week’s Trifecta Writing Challenge. I often go with the first idea that pops into my head.  This was one of those times.

RULES: All entries must be between 33 and 333 words and need to include the following word using its third definition:

clean (adjective)

1: free from dirt or pollution
2: unadulterated, pure
3 a : free from moral corruption or sinister connections of any kind <a candidate with a clean record>

* * * * * * * * * *

A year in the life of my childhood

* * * * * * * * * *

The year was 1983

The times? They were so simple

Cabbage patch dolls everywhere

So hideously-dimpled

*

Reagan was the president

And Swatch entered the scene

As did jellies, Rubik’s cubes,

And McNuggets as cuisine

*

My fashion was inspired by

Madonna, Flashdance, Lauper

‘Cause MTV was everywhere

So I looked like a pauper

*

The music was my favorite

Boom box on every shoulder

From Dexy, Prince or Men at Work

(It so sucks getting older)

*

For film, we had The Outsiders,

Big Chill and Valley Girl

And Vacation with Chevy Chase

Gave the Griswolds to the world

*

But I was still a little girl

My parents weren’t mean

They just wanted to be sure

What I saw and heard was clean

*

Enter Mr. Cosby

And his one-man show ‘Himself’

I must have pulled it fifty times

Off our VHS tape shelf

*

The jokes, they were all perfect

The dentist chair he faked

I won’t forget the joke about

“Dad gave us chocolate cake!”

*

Thank you for the memories

Of this, a lifetime chapter

But most of all I thank you, Bill

For all my family’s laughter

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