prompt 45 | OldDogNewTits

It’s time for Ketchup With Us. Hosted by Mel and me on the 1st & 15th each month, our link-up gives you TWO ways to play: (A) Write about anything for 10 minutes OR (B) Link up an old post. Or both!

What do you write about when you don’t know what to write about? Well, now THAT is a good question. I guess after writing for thirty days straight about everything from my kids to the big summer musical I did with my daughter to, well, the crap in my refrigerator that isn’t actually edible, it’s hard to think of anything else.

What the hell has happened to me lately that qualifies as interesting?

I ate something a few weeks ago called Duck Fat Fries. Is that interesting? I don’t know, but it sure as hell was delicious. To the extent that there’s an excellent chance I’ll be placing a to-go order with this high-end restaurant pretty soon. (Seriously, where’s my phone?) Ducks. I don’t like to eat their gamey meat. Who’d have thought potatoes fried in their grease would be do damned yummy? (Please don’t tell PETA I said that.)

What else? What else?

Ooh! A rat licked my face. No. YOU shut up. I AM being serious. But I should probably mention that her name is Lily. She’s owned. She wasn’t just a random rat I met on the street. I have standards. I’m not some cheap floozy who lets just ANY rat I meet lick all over my face. Because that would be weird.

Of course, this rat was a girl. Should I be concerned about that? Should I be listening to more Indigo Girls (how sad that that’s my newest reference) and booking tickets to Lilith Fair? Does that even still happen every year? And also, have I just offended anyone with my tongue-in-cheek reference to my wandering gender preference for girl rats? Anyone who knows me at all knows I’m kidding.

Tolerance is my middle name.

Actually, it’s Annette. Or it was Annette until I got married and dumped it for my maiden name. Which was fine with me because I could never get past the old Grease lyric. You guys remember, right? Stockard Channing sang it at the slumber party when she was making fun of Sandy. “Would you pull that crap with Annette?” It always confused me as a child. Let’s just say I took it way too literally and couldn’t figure out why, for the life of me, anyone would ever want to do that. Disgusting.

Oh, but back the rat. You guys don’t believe me, do you? Well, that’s why I had my picture taken. With a rat. Licking me. On the face.

How many of you can say that?