Tag Archives: sperm

Verbal creativity can be hazardous to your children


I overheard this conversation between my kids in the car this morning on the short drive to school.

Daughter: What IS that?

Son: It’s the picture I drew to go with my reading paper.

Daughter: What is it?

Son: It’s a sponkey.  We had to make up an animal.  Mine’s a mixture of a spider and a monkey.

Daughter: Oh.  (Then, abruptly distracted and slightly in peril) Mommy, there’s a weird yellow worm in the car!  Gross. Is it poisonous?   Like a spider??  Maybe it’s a mix of a spider and a worm.  Maybe it’s a …

You can see where I’m going with this, right?

Sensing what was coming, I felt my movements and voice change to slow motion as I attempted to turn around from my position in the front seat so that I could articulately and purposefully shout out … “WIDER! Worm and spider. It’s a WIIIII—DERRRRR!” 

But I was too late.

Daughter: (thankfully clueless but still totally amused) It’s a sperm!  A little sperm! There’s a sperm in Daddy’s car.  Hi, little spermy.

God, I hope she forgot about it before she walked into the classroom this morning.

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