Verbal creativity can be hazardous to your children

I overheard this conversation between my kids in the car this morning on the short drive to school.

Daughter: What IS that?

Son: It’s the picture I drew to go with my reading paper.

Daughter: What is it?

Son: It’s a sponkey.  We had to make up an animal.  Mine’s a mixture of a spider and a monkey.

Daughter: Oh.  (Then, abruptly distracted and slightly in peril) Mommy, there’s a weird yellow worm in the car!  Gross. Is it poisonous?   Like a spider??  Maybe it’s a mix of a spider and a worm.  Maybe it’s a …

You can see where I’m going with this, right?

Sensing what was coming, I felt my movements and voice change to slow motion as I attempted to turn around from my position in the front seat so that I could articulately and purposefully shout out … “WIDER! Worm and spider. It’s a WIIIII—DERRRRR!” 

But I was too late.

Daughter: (thankfully clueless but still totally amused) It’s a sperm!  A little sperm! There’s a sperm in Daddy’s car.  Hi, little spermy.

God, I hope she forgot about it before she walked into the classroom this morning.


4 responses to “Verbal creativity can be hazardous to your children

  1. Please tell me “Spermy” is not her new pet.

  2. Ah, I love it! Remind me to tell you about my daughter’s first major question about the birds and the bees (she was four!!). My “verbal creativity” did not serve me well. Not at all…

  3. hahahaha! One day after school when my sister and I were kids, (she’s five years younger) she asked me what ‘microbate’ was. I was like what are you talking about? Apparently one of the boys in her class said the other one microbates. I told her to call my mom, who was at work, and ask.

    It’s still a favorite story!!

  4. I like the slow motion and praying they forget by the time they get into school. I can relate.

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