I overheard this conversation between my kids in the car this morning on the short drive to school.
Daughter: What IS that?
Son: It’s the picture I drew to go with my reading paper.
Daughter: What is it?
Son: It’s a sponkey. We had to make up an animal. Mine’s a mixture of a spider and a monkey.
Daughter: Oh. (Then, abruptly distracted and slightly in peril) Mommy, there’s a weird yellow worm in the car! Gross. Is it poisonous? Like a spider?? Maybe it’s a mix of a spider and a worm. Maybe it’s a …
You can see where I’m going with this, right?
Sensing what was coming, I felt my movements and voice change to slow motion as I attempted to turn around from my position in the front seat so that I could articulately and purposefully shout out … “WIDER! Worm and spider. It’s a WIIIII—DERRRRR!”
But I was too late.
Daughter: (thankfully clueless but still totally amused) It’s a sperm! A little sperm! There’s a sperm in Daddy’s car. Hi, little spermy.
God, I hope she forgot about it before she walked into the classroom this morning.