The assignment? “Write a 33-word response using the name of an animal as a verb.”
The response? The latest installment in The ODNT Smart Ass Collection.
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The One Where I Grouse About Monkeying Around with Trifecta
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“DEER” Trifecta,
Please stop badgering us into outfoxing each other so you can fawn praise on three of us. I can’t bear to flounder through another assignment and I’m crawfishing out.
“Sin-SEAL-ly,”
ODNT
Everything above the grey line below was added after I hit ‘publish.’ I have NEVER written a post faster. I really wanted to participate in the Trifecta challenge this weekend … and this VERY abbreviated entry was my FIFTH stab at it.
Yeah, I was pretty amazed I went with this one, too. I posted it with one minute to spare. Look at me. I’m like Indiana Jones sliding under the rock wall at the last minute.
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Coordinating Schedules
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“The world will end in three days.”
“Wednesday?”
“Wednesday.”
“Wednesday’s no good for me.”
“Um, okay. What about Thursday?”
“Thursday? Thursday’s wide open.”
“Alright. So I’ll put it down for Thursday.”
“Works for me.”
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Trifextra gave us a fun assignment this weekend. Retell your favorite book in 33 words. And really the hardest part for me was picking a favorite book. Considering what an illiterate boob I am, I sure had a lot of ideas swimming around in my flabby brain. Until I settled on this one. It’s actually a screenplay written by a little-known actor at the time named Billy Bob Thornton. It was later developed into a movie of the same name. It’s definitely a favorite around this house, which probably makes us a family of freaks. Although I’m not sure we can really blame that on the story.
* Spoiler Alert – I tell the whole story here. Don’t read it if you don’t want to know.
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Sling Blade
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Man is released from asylum. Man meets boy. Man eats french fried potaters. Boy introduces man to mother and her gay friend. Man meets mother’s jackass boyfriend. Man bisects jackass with sling blade.
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Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged 33 words, billy bob thornton, book, retelling, sling blade, trifextra
This weekend’s Trifextra challenge is calling for something different. Non-fiction, as in “a real account of a period in your life that can be clearly identified by (wait for it) the number three.” And it must be 333 words or less.
I thought about it for a while until I finally came up with two real life experiences. After vacillating between them for a while, I finally decided on this one, figuring the other to be better suited for a much lengthier piece. My life is full of arbitrary, defining moments. And I would certainly count this experience among them. Only the names have been changed.
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A memorable night made MORE memorable
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It was the night of my sweet sixteen party. There were nine of us celebrating our milestone birthdays that night. The event was perfect and, when it ended at midnight, my date, Gus, and I left with my friend, Sarah, and her date, Stephen. We were headed to a music club in the Marigny, a neighborhood just downriver of the French Quarter.
We had a hard time finding a parking spot and had to circle the block a few times before finally grabbing one nearby. As we stepped out of the car onto the sidewalk, three men … teens, actually … rushed us and demanded “Purses, wallets and belongings.” I remember staring into the eyes of the boy who couldn’t have been more than a few years older than me as he pointed a pistol directly at my chest.
I never moved or spoke. I froze and my bones and muscles all locked, as though by rigor mortis. The boy literally used his gun to knock the purse out of my rigid fingers.
But all three of my co-victims had distinctly different reactions.
My date, Gus, was oddly cool. He remained totally collected and produced his wallet with the speed and compliance of someone at the supermarket.
My friend, Sarah, was angry. Furious. The long string of relentless expletives that she thew at the three gunmen would have made even the saltiest sailor blush.
And then there was Stephen. Poor Stephen who had just been violently mugged over Spring Break two months earlier. Fearing for his life, he yelled “Run!” and took off on foot down the street. But there was a fourth man waiting at the corner. And he took Stephen’s wallet (but, mercifully, not his life) from him there.
As suddenly as it happened, it ended. I’ll never forget it. And it cripples me with fear as I think about my children creeping up on their teen years. I don’t know how my parents did it.
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For this weekend’s Trifextra assignment, entrants must write a story in only 33 words using the phrase ‘It wasn’t the first time.’
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Hiding in Plain Sight
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It wasn’t the first time he used another name. But it was the first time that name was Alexis. He adjusted his wig, slipped on his slingbacks and glanced at the mirror one more time. “Perfect,” he sneered.
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It’s Trifextra time. The assignment? “This weekend, we only need 32 words from you, because we’re giving you the 33rd. Your challenge is to write anything you want, in whichever form you please, so long as your response is exactly 33 words and includes the word ‘mother.'”
So, I figured if putting mother in there one time was the standard, then putting it in there seven times would put me over the top and surely guarantee me a win. Don’t you think?
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The Mother of All Trifextra Assignments
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Mother ran in carrying a mother load of Mother Nature books when the motherboard ignited. Her mother of pearl anklet snagged on a Mother Goose plush on the floor and she shouted, “Mother ….!”
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Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged 33 words, mother, stacy's mom, the mother of all trifrextra assignments, trifextra
It’s the weekend … which means it’s my “Trifextra ME time.” (Oh, that’s just so sad.) Anyway, if you didn’t see my last post, I’ll explain that the assignment this time is to create a scene involving three people and write it from the point of view of each of these characters, using 33 words for each of them.
This post is aptly-named as it’s available to everyone but directed to my Trifecta circle. The three vignettes that follow are intended to illustrate the individual reactions of three specific Trifecta writers when they read this weekend’s assignment.
Trifecta friends, can you guess who I’m channeling here? Rest-of-world, sorry. Feel free to eavesdrop.
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Inside Joke
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What??? I barely have time to write 33 words on the weekend, let alone 99. Sorry, kids. Mommy can’t take you to the park today. Chris, can you? I’m going to DM ODNT.
Wow. Three stories. There’s got to be a song in that. Wait … I know. I mean … it’s a goofy 80s song but it’s perfect. Better look up the lyrics. ODNT probably knows them.
The same story from three viewpoints? Three people? I guess I could do Three Amigos since it’s my namesake. Sort of. Gah! My BRAAAAAIN hurts. I’m going to go tease ODNT about cheese.
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Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged 33 words, inside joke, three characters, three points of view, trifextra, trifextra weekend challenge
It’s Trifextra time. What’s the assignment, you ask? Participants were asked to create a scene involving three people and write it from the point of view of each of these characters, using 33 words for each of them.
I opted to go with non-fiction for this entry. My scene could represent any night in our household when my son has a basketball game. I’ll let you figure out whose perspective is represented in each vignette.
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The Pre-Game Show
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Put more arc on the ball. Use the backboard. Hold the ball up here so no one can steal it. Keep it high so you can put it back up for your rebound.
I washed your shirt. It’s in the dryer. Get your shoes and tell your sister we’re about to leave. Whoever has to pee should go now. Do you want red Gatorade or purple?
I know! Daaaad! Okay. You say that every time. Thanks. I’ll get it. They’re already on. MOM WANTS YOU! I already went. SHE SAID TO PEE! Do we have yellow? That’s my favorite.
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Just writing about the daily dumbassery of life. The good, the bad and the so-utterly-mundane-that-you'd-think-I-wouldn't-even-bother-to-write-about-it.
OldDogNewTits 