Okay, so how long can I write about National Boob Holidays, 83-year-olds getting implants and Katy Perry, right? Well, yes, I’ve been vamping and waiting a little … due to nerves and little scheduling obstacles (who I refer to casually as my kids) … to act on everything. Then, yesterday, I had a spare moment of clarity … as in no one needing Latin help, a litter box changed, new tap shoes or a clean flag football jersey … so I jumped on it.
I called the first doctor recommended to me, half expecting her office to say they couldn’t see me until late January or something. So, you can just imagine my surprise when the receptionist booked me for this Tuesday (THIS TUESDAY!) at 9:30am. I think I just tasted my breakfast a second time today.
But … it’s only a consultation. (It’s only a consultation. It’s only a consultation. It’s only a consultation.) And, even more, it’s only four miles from my front door … and it’s free. I can’t think of an easier way to slink into the meat of this whole project. So then, WHY am I sweating?
I am not going alone. So far, I have three wonderful friends (Vanessa, Melissa and Virginia) who have offered to come with me to these initial … and I’m guessing pretty humbling … appointments. (I’m sure my mom will figure into this equation at some point, too.) I approached these three girlfriends about this first appointment and heard from Vanessa first.
Me – You’re probably going to have to see me naked from the waist up. I’m so sorry.
Vanessa – That’s okay. I’ll just take my top off, too.
Me – You’re a good friend.
Vanessa – Wait. Just got a text. I have a hair appointment Tuesday morning so I might have to leave early if I come.
Me – That’s fine. Let me call Melissa or Virginia.
Vanessa – I still want to get that coffee we keep talking about.
Me – Sure. This week.
Vanessa – Maybe when we go for coffee, I can take my top off there and score us a couple of free lattes!
Me – You’d do that for me?
Vanessa – I think I need to go put some self-tanner on.
So, looks like Vanessa won’t be making it this time. Not to worry. All of my friends are hilarious. It’s why I keep them around really. Each is funnier than the last.
Virginia’s coming along for the ride this time. And she’s already mentioned going for an early lunch after the appointment. The consultation is supposed to last only 45 minutes “unless,” the receptionist adds, “you have more questions that need answering.”
These poor people have NO idea.
So send me your ideas for questions … please!
What should I be asking? What questions would YOU want answered?
OldDogNewTits 
You mentioned before that you want to regain what you had before you nursed two kids. You should ask about a lift vs. an augmentation. If you’re happy with the size, you might just need them hiked up a bit. (For anyone reading this, let me stress that I have never seen you naked. You might have glorious breasts for all I know.)
So who is the doctor you’re going to see? Don’t forget about Dr.Trahan w/St.Charles breast restoration…to add him to your list for a consultation. Things i would ask: explain the diff in Silicone vs. Saline…and i just saw something about a new highly cohesive gel silicone. Ask to feel both types, they will have samples in the office. Since it doesn’t sound like you want big plastic boobs, i’d go with the one they tell you appears most natural (and i can’t remember which type it is, from my way prior appts). I remember that both types had the same amount of risks-and they’d all come A LONG WAY in safety. When i asked “which one do most people go with” I was told “50/50”, so not much help there. I’m so excited for you!! Tuesday is gonna be great. It is pretty funny when they start drawing on you (that may be at a later doctor appt). Good Luck, and keep blogging. Melissa
Melissa … Next on my list, I promise. Wanna come? And Anne … good point. Me & my glorious boobs will ask that question. For sure! Thanks, ladies!
I would love to come…you make the appt and I’ll see if I can make it. This is so fun.
It’s a date! When I make an appointment with your people, okay? I’ll call next week.
Hey sis. I’ve heard great things about Dr. Messiha.
Very nice man and he supposedly does a slight lift while he’s in there. It’s included in the procedure. Apparently he’s the only doc that does this technique. Make an apt with him too. Good luck with the first consult.
I can’t wait to hear about your first appointment. I personally was scared shitless. Rarely did my girls ever make an appearance. They were very comfortable hiding in their well padded nests. I took the leap and actually saw 2 doctors and let 2 doctors actually see me. Keep a sense of humor because to them they have seen soooo many that I knew mine were just another day at the office. My first appointment was with Dr. Kho???? who was an expert at Pamela Anderson make-overs. Not me…don’t want to be that out there. I don’t need my bobs to arrive 5 minutes before the rest of me. Then I went to Dr. John Lindsey. AWESOME! He and his staff made me feel so comfortable and they were so reassuring. He understood that I only wanted to be realistically symmetrical. Not that a girl with a pair of 38DD’s doesn’t have a great life but sometimes I prefer to be under the radar. It is way to late for me to be discovered. I just thought a life without sewing pads in every strapless shirt, dress or bathing suit would be amazing.
Be ready. Do shots first … straight, hard liquor. Definitely humbling. The first doctor I saw said and I quote “a pretty breast does this (drawing as he speaks) and yours does this.” I did not use him. I won’t give his name, but it is biblical. The doctor will take photos. I call the wall you stand in front of the “Wall of Shame”, however it is all part of the process. You will be fabulous in the end. I explained that I was a Mom and not a hooker or stripper and was just interested in looking like I did before children. I didn’t want to look like that lady sunning herself in the window during the movie Something about Mary anymore!! I If you want specifics on size, etc I’d be happy to share and I highly recommend a mini or crescent lift. I am very excited for you!!! And for the record, I tore my before pictures into tiny pieces when he gave them to me, but my after pics I had copied in wallet size and sent them to all my friends … hahahahaha (not true, but only cause I never thought of it til now 😉