My multiple personalities are fighting again

Okay, let’s get back to our ODNT roots here.  We’ve been through five preliminary consultations, two follow-up appointments and one scary emergency mammogram and ultrasound together.  We’ve talked about botched boobs, troublemaking boobs, giNORmous boobs, mystery boobs, saggy boobs, perky boobs, slapping boobs, foreign boobs, holiday boobs, famous boobs, dancing boobs, old boobs, stabbed boobs, insured boobs and uniboobs.

But we’re not done yet.

We still have a big decision to make, don’t we?  I will be calling for a vote down to one doctor in the next few days.  (Don’t vote on this post though please.  The poll will be up soon.)

Anyway, if you think I’ve already made my decision, think again.  One minute I’m looking in the mirror, checking myself out and thinking …

“Okay.  I’m definitely getting a  lift. That’s the one thing every doctor … and even my mom … agreed on.    And I should probably get a little inflation.  Just a little.  I don’t want to be too big.   After all this research and soul searching, I really should do something for myself. Everyone knows that moms don’t stop and do things for themselves enough, right? Come on, Michele. Don’t be such a wuss. 

And then the next minute, I’m all …

“I can’t do this. This is crazy. There are risks. And there are starving people in Africa … and tuition to pay …. and house notes and electric bills and other debts. We’re not rich people.  How can I spend this kind of cash on my boobs?!!?

Yes, yes, I know. I’ve exposed my inner Sybil.  The pendulum of the human psyche.  The fight (sometimes to the death) between the right brain and the left brain.  Sybil presents herself from time to time in all of us when making big decisions. Most people call it vacillating, wavering, overanalyzing.  I just call it a Sybil moment. (If you aren’t familiar with this classic movie, look it up.  Sally Field.  Good stuff.  Long before her current stint on Brothers & Sisters.)

My point? I’m still not sure what to do.  And yes … while ultimately it is my decision to make and I will have the final say … my family, my friends and YOU will also be playing a very important advisory role for me.  You’ve basically come on every one of these appointments with me.  You’ve heard everything these doctors have had to say.  We’ve learned about full lifts, median lifts and mini-lifts together.  And the incisions and scarring associated with all of them. We’ve learned about the pros and cons of saline versus silicone.  And about texturized implant shells.  And we’ve learned about ccs – and how they can SO make a difference. We learned about fat injections as a new augmentation alternative. We’ve learned about an implant’s effect on mammography. And so on … and so on …. and so on …

So, since we’re all experts now, I’m asking that you please take a minute to look back over the appointments.  At a minimum, please review the Doctor 4 and Doctor 5 reports, first  and second round if I may be so bold as to ask.  Both of these doctors are excellent and I would be in good hands either way.

But … which doctor is the best fit for me?

Or … should I leave well enough alone and scrap the whole damned thing?

This is the moment of truth.  Please read over whatever you need to help me decide … and then be on the look out for the next round of voting in a few days. I LOVE you people for riding shotgun with me throughout everything. 🙂

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2 responses to “My multiple personalities are fighting again

  1. Ok, ok. I admit it, I’ve been slacking.
    I haven’t re-read the doctor visits. I haven’t worked on my list of salient (siliconent?) but amusing questions.
    I suck. But man, this is a lot of pressure. I mean, who am I to tell you who (if anyone) should be playing with your breasts (though you can find a lot of free but…interesting choices on Craigslist).
    But tomorrow when I should be working, I will reread the reviews and try to be coherent for the next poll.
    Promise.

  2. Like my buddy, Guapo, I’m going back to study up on the doctors so I can be ready for the final round of voting.

    What can I say about the decision of whether to go ahead with this? As you acknowledged, this is ultimately your choice to make. The fact that you’re hesitating is no surprise, because it’s a pretty big expense, and having your body modified isn’t a choice that should be taken lightly. I think if the side of your inner Sybil who thinks you should scrap the whole idea has been coming out often (or speaking loudly), maybe you should wait. But if you feel good about the whole idea and it only makes you nervous occasionally, you’ll probably have no regrets after going through with it.

    – If you back out, you’ll probably be comfortable with the knowledge that you saved some money and avoided some minor but very real risks. But you might always look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I could have gotten some fabulous new ta-tas, and I chickened out! What was I thinking?”

    – If you go through with it, I’m positive you’ll be happy with the way you look. You’ll get an instant and long-lasting boost to your self-image. You and your husband will have lots of fun playing with the new toys. But you might forever feel selfish, frivolous, and vain.

    Gut instinct, without over-thinking it, which of these two situations seems more likely to eat at you?

    If that doesn’t help, just ask yourself how likely you are to be stabbed in the chest, or have a Hezbollah rocket shot at you. Some extra padding out there could save your life…

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