A Letter from Katrina to Isaac (Yes, I mean the Hurricanes)

August 27, 2012, 12:09pm

Dear Isaac,

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Katrina and there is not one human being in New Orleans, along the entirety of the Gulf Coast of the United States or around the globe, for that matter, who is not well acquainted with me and my work. However, I will accept that, because you are less than seven years of age and have just formed and organized yourself, you are unfamiliar with my celebrity. A quick Google search should get you up to speed with my resume. Or you may simply click here.

With all due respect, I am writing to request that you back off from your area of target immediately and completely. Not only am I recognized as the sixth strongest hurricane in all of recorded history, I have also been deemed the costliest natural disaster and one of the five deadliest storms in the history of the United States. And I have no intention of retiring any of my titles at this time.

That you have chosen to rear your ugly, inexperienced head exactly one day before the seventh anniversary of my devastation is in severely bad form, my young friend. But then what would you know about these things? You were upgraded to a tropical storm only one week ago. You DO realize that the only reason that people are worried about you, even watching you, is because of me, right? It was I who left that post-traumatic feeling in the city that has exalted all hurricanes since. I am the bar against which all before and after me have been and will be measured.

Move on, little green neophyte. These people have endured enough. They do not need some snot-nosed punk hanging around and distracting them from the seven year reminder of my abominable efforts on August 29, 2005. I will expect to see you and your belongings on the curb waiting for a cab within 24 hours. This point is not negotiable.



 I have been asked no less than twenty times what my family is doing for the storm. As always, we are hoping to stay put. We will make the decision as the storm progresses and its nasty details unfold. Having been through these hurricanes my entire life, my stress levels are high at the moment. And I felt the need to purge a little of my internal anger and fear over the entire situation this morning. Everyone stay safe. I’ll be in touch.


YeahWrite.Me – The Speakeasy 

24 responses to “A Letter from Katrina to Isaac (Yes, I mean the Hurricanes)

  1. You’ll hear from Isaac before AMC.

  2. I’m hoping he listens! Your letter was so well done. You’re all in our thoughts! Xo

  3. Hope Isaac learns to use his words instead of acting out…
    Rock on, ODNT!

  4. Oh do I vividly remember Katrina & being on the Gulf Coast. If I were still in Mobile I’d probably stay too. Being a Nola resident now 5 years I have decided to get the hell out with my 2 kids. I sure hope it’s a wasted evacuation! Sending my best!

  5. Isaac needs to leard to listen and have his little, green tail in that cab quickly! Beautifully written, Michele. Sending you love and light.
    I hope you won’t need it, but you’ll always have a place with The Raggs.

  6. Being new to the area (moved here after last year’s hurricane season), I’m kind of shaking in my shoes right now and I’m in Baton Rouge. I can’t imagine how you are feeling after going through Katrina, that miserable bitch. I only hope that you are safe and there is no need for you to evacuate. Take care & stay strong.

  7. Sending prayers & good vibes your way, sister!

  8. Amazing post. Thinking of you and everyone else. I can’t imagine what you are feeling. GOOD LUCK being sent your way. F off, Isaac!

  9. I was watching news clips of people preparing for Isaac, buying gas, 2x4s, canned goods-hold on, is that chef boyardee Gumbo ravioli?! Oh wait, its just JUMBO…yeah yeah I know, but maybe they make a regional selection! 😉

  10. Move up north. Here to Chicago. Then, we can hang out and you can help me clean the condo. That would be so appreciated. Do it!

  11. I love that you have Katrina come back to kick some punk ass! Perfect. I’ve hunkered down many times, but be safe!

  12. Pingback: Blogging from Inside Hurricane Isaac « OldDogNewTits

  13. I really enjoyed the way you expressed this. And I hope Isaac listens to you! Stay safe!

  14. This post made me smile. And then I stopped smiling because I felt bad about smiling about horrible natural disasters. Great post! It appears Isaac is listening to Katrina. Stay safe!

  15. Well done. Katrina is older and wiser, but still a bit of a punk, isn’t she?

  16. LOL I love how Sassy Katrina is! Well played, Katrina, well played. Found you on the blog hop- I hope you stay safe and dry!

  17. I’m glad Isaac didn’t get all punky and try to out-do Katrina. Loved this. Found you through the YKIHAYHT blog-hop BTW. 🙂

  18. I saw today that you are safe, just without power. So glad for that, and hope that you dry up soon! So glad that Katrina gave Isaac the what-for!

    Thanks for linking up again, so glad you did and that you are safe!

  19. Pingback: Talking ‘Bout My G-G-Generator | OldDogNewTits

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