If At First You Don’t Succeed – Part II (for Trifecta)

Trifecta Writing Prompt for the Weekend

Take one of your former 33 word entries and build upon it with another 33 words.

I haven’t taken on Trifecta in a while but this weekend’s prompt spoke to me. It said …“Get off your fat ass and join the party, slack jaw. People are going to forget you even EXIST if you don’t get back into the game again. Seriously, freak show, put down that apple-sized ball of cheese and get out of bed.”

I know! That’s what I thought, too. This weekend’s prompt is a total jerk.

Still, it got me thinking. And the gears in my tired brain started turning. Rustily, yes. There was even a little smoke for a few minutes there. Then, it finally spat out the following idea: If At First You Don’t Succeed. I wrote it in July 2012 for the Trifecta prompt that asked us to “Give the first 33 words of your book.” Here’s how it went:

He woke to the smell of a hot breakfast. Opening his eyes, he saw the walls of his childhood bedroom. The Gong Show desk calendar said 1977. He was 8. “Not again,” thought Henry Beckett, 43.

It seemed like the perfect story to continue for this weekend’s prompt. And so I did.

He leapt down from the top bunk, panic-stricken. The deposition, his anniversary dinner, his son’s championship game … he’d miss all of them again if he didn’t think fast. “Henry … breakfast!” called his mother.

Actually, the title is ironic when you consider the fact that I’m taking a second shot at writing the same story. Thanks, Trifecta. You’re helping me finally get moving with this writing thing. I’ve got 66 words under my belt now. And the average novel length is only about 80,000 words. (laughs like a buffoon) Shoot. I should be done by Tuesday.


13 responses to “If At First You Don’t Succeed – Part II (for Trifecta)

  1. Excellent start to your novel! I’m intrigued and would definitely read another 66 words of this….:). Well done, Michele. WELL DONE!

  2. You’ve definitely upped the stress level with the prospect of missing the deposition, anniversary dinner and the championship game. And interestingly, you suggested that he might miss these events AGAIN, leading me to wonder whether he’s in some circuitiously frustrating time warp. Personally, I’d rather go back to age 18, going away to college and all that stuff! This sounds like a great novel.

  3. Poor guy! How often does this happen to him?
    Write more, please.

  4. He wont miss it, he has plenty of time! – as long as he marks his calendar (though the 2012 calendar year only repeats every 28 years, he wont be able to reuse it). You got YOUR years right though 😉 Good job!

    I think the prompt was to help people move it along, and it was only 33 words for the weekend. Week-long ones like this would probably be 333 words – but would move it a long a liiiittle more.

  5. Your first 66 words, you’re on a roll!

  6. I enjoyed the rational thinking of “past present” and the visual of the character realizing he is in his 8 year old body and doing 8 year old things like jumping down from a bunk bed.

  7. Yeah, novels are pretty tough. I half wish I had thought of using that past prompt for mine. But hey, I can always do that on my own, I suppose.

    And as far as the word count, I am technically somewhere between 40- to 50,000. So that’s a good amount to be getting on with, at least.

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