Death to Gluten!

The Gluten-Free Diet. It’s the latest health movement to hit the shelves, the market, my kitchen. And we all know what gluten is by now, right?

gluten /ˈglo͞otn/ (n.) – the ingredient in food, especially dessert and bread, that makes it delicious 

Now when I say “diet,” I’m referring to the kinder, gentler form of the word as in “daily regimen” (not “restrictive punishment”). But I’m not opposed to dropping a few pounds. I’ve fought with the same 5-10 SOBs for twenty years. They love me but I keep sending them back to the curb. (One of these days, I’m changing the locks.) It’s just that lately I’ve been feeling not quite myself … as in beaten down, achy, even dealing with a few skin issues. Long story short … everyone keeps touting the benefits of eliminating gluten from my diet. And I figured … if I could eat nothing but baby food for five days … then ditching gluten for the same five (or longer) should be a piece of cake.

Cake?!!? (Why did I have to say cake?)

(underpaid lackey runs in) “Okay, everybody. ODNT, Ditching Gluten, Take TWO!” (clack)

(Back to me) …”And I figured … if I could eat nothing but baby food for five days … then ditching gluten for the same five (or longer) should be a piece of organic, free-range, skinless chicken breast.”

Here are just a FEW things I’ve heard it can help:

  • Eyesight
  • Headaches
  • Sleep
  • Skin Problems
  • Chronic Fatigue
  • Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
  • Depression

So, you know what? I’m trying it. Along with Elizabeth Hasselback, Chelsea Clinton, Zooey Deschanel and a bunch of other “celebrities” I’ve never heard of. It’s already my third day. I’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime, does anyone want to …

  • offer any helpful tips?
  • slam me for trying it?
  • take bets on how long ’til I cave?

Am I serious?

Well FYI, I had to make brownies for my daughter’s bake sale today …


… and you wouldn’t believe how fast I grabbed the Palmolive!

Game On, Gluten!



15 responses to “Death to Gluten!

  1. Gluten free can help Headaches you say? I may have to investigate further!

  2. Well, having Celiac….I have become quite the expert with gluten/wheat free stuff… takes about 2 weeks for it to be out of your system to notice the difference (in my case, I didnt realize how SICK I was until I started to feel normal). When you eat in again, you feel like crap….and the longer it has been out of your system, the sicker you get when you accidentally ingest it….

    Eventually, the side effects of eating gluten/wheat are enough to deter you from eating it, though the first month is BRUTAL. It was like going through a mourning period and I got even more depressed because of all the things I couldnt eat – for me is was harder because I was a vegetarian for many years, and all the soy/meat substitute stuff was jam packed with gluten….

    I got over it though because I felt SO much better….

    Cutting out gluten also means cutting out wheat, barley, rye and oats. You also have to watch things like Malt….

    The BEST GF stuff I have found is Udi’s Bread and Bagels….tastes AWESOME. “Still Riding” makes excellent GF pizza crust. Annies makes Mac and Cheese that tastes JUST like Kraft, and I found that CORN pasta is the best GF Pasta….all other stuff doesnt reheat well the next day….Message me if you need anything!

    OH, CHEESE is Gluten Free – so you are safe! LOL

  3. I dunno man, a life without cake is a life not worth living. Or bread. Bread is pretty amazing too. I am just going to stop talking right now becasue I am not helping this at all.


    Links from our school care site (in charge of taking food to breast-cancer victim undergoing treatment)

    Keep us posted- very interesting.

  5. has a GF meal plan. I’ve used their “Classic,” and am currently using the “Portion Control,” plan. I haven’t actually tried the GF plan yet, but it may take some of the guesswork out of dinner for you, at the very least. It provides a weekly menu with recipes and a shopping list. Good luck!! I’m anxious/curious to see how it works for you!

  6. Actually I have been thinking about trying it. It seems like when I use bread or pasta I swell up so bad I feel like a blowfish. My family would have a heart attack though lol. But they do make gluten free cake mixes and such now.. sooo there ya go

  7. The Betty Crocker GF cake and brownie mix is AWESOME….Oh! GF Bisquik too!

  8. Oh! And I just saw on FB that Pillsbury now has refrigerated GF cookie dough, pizza crust and pie crusts!!!!

  9. Great post…good luck with your journey. I started on the gluten-free journey in December when I couldn’t stand another day of feeling so bad. There are so many great replacements now, many have already been mentioned. GOOD LUCK!

  10. My sister-in-law has to eat gluten free and lactose free (I love when they come to dinner) and she told me another symptom of gluten and lactose is stomach bloating. I was thinking maybe if you are allergic to gluten that’s why you feel you can’t lose the remaining weight you want to get rid of,even though in the pictures you have published you look good. 😀

    • Yes, I lost 15 pounds just from cutting out the wheat/gluten….

      My BIGGEST side effects from gluten/wheat – joint pain, terrible fatigue, and then restless leg at night…..

  11. modmomelleroy

    Oh man, the headaches and the depression. I need to ditch the gluten. I successfully cut out all sugar and carbs for three weeks a while back when I did the South Beach Diet and the weight came off my mid section immediately. Eight pounds in two weeks. But convincing myself to do that again has been tough. I need to though. Just a few more chips first…

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