First of all, in the event that, for some crazy reason, you aren’t familiar with the fabulous Mr. Gaffigan and his work, please allow me to introduce you.

I’ll wait while you catch your breath before I move on.

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No. seriously. Could you get yourself together? I’ve got stuff to do.

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Fine. You know what? Just laugh quietly while I talk.

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Today was a pretty blah day around here. My daily agenda included laundry, loads of freelance work, extensive bill paying and a funeral. Oh, and did I mention that the weather was positively beastly? So much so that I kept getting these scary ass texts.

Maybe the weather was summoned to coincide with the big movie premier for Noah.

Well played, Paramount Pictures.

And there I was, hunkering down in my house, trying to ignore the constant buzzing of my phone to tell me the end of the world was near when I saw an email from my friend, Jim Gaffigan. (He’s not really my friend. … I’m being sarcastic. … But I would be his friend if he asked. … Gosh, I hope I didn’t just hurt his feelings if he’s reading right now. I would totally be your friend, Jim.)

Anyway, the email explained that Jim was nominated for best Concert Comic by the American Comedy Awards. But he needs votes. And he emailed ME to ask for help, you guys!

I’m a hard person to make laugh. Because I’m jaded. And judgy. And could beat the pants off anyone in a game of “Make Me Laugh.” But this man slays me. So I immediately voted. Via Twitter. And I was tickled to see how quickly he acknowledged and even favorited my tweet.

I’m so glad you appreciate my vote, Jim. And now I’m going to take it one step further. Because you liked my tweet. AND because you make me laugh. I’m going to try to get other people to vote for you, too. That’s pretty damned nice of me since we’re not actually friends, don’t you think? (Again, just say the word, Jim, and I’ll stop this whole were-not-really-friends malarkey.)

ATTENTION: EVERYONE READING THIS BLOG POST

A vote for Gaffigan is a vote to laugh again!!!

(Oh, my God. That was awful. Why did I think that would be funny? Poetry, Michele? Poetry is never funny. Well, crap. Now he’s never going to be my friend. … Maybe I should just get to the point.)

Vote for Jim Gaffigan!

Just write a tweet with the hashtag #AmericanComedyAwards and @JimGaffigan in your message by Tuesday, April 1 at 1PM PST.

Okay. I already showed everybody his bacon bit. OMG, BACON BIT! That’s hiLARious. Remember to send that joke to Jim. But wait! I should also remind everyone about one of his most popular and longest running jokes. Good thing we eat like shit around here.

My daughter said the fact that I’m using TURKEY bacon is just lame.

“I don’t think that’s what he meant, Mom.”

“Whatever, Vivien. Just take the picture.”

Yeah, sure. It’s a weird blog post. I wasn’t paid to write any of it. I just think this dude’s funny and would love to see him win. So go vote.

Show Jim your tweets!