So, Michele is away. She’s busy sailing around the world this week. Okay, maybe not around the world, but that makes her sound fancy, doesn’t it? Actually she’s literally cruising. On a ship. I bet she’s snorkeling, laughing, having fruity drinks and walking along pristine beaches. What a…(be nice, jealous Mel) LUCKY girl!
Meanwhile, back at Casa de Bugaj, the closest thing we have to fruity drinks are the Capri Suns I just bought for the kids. And since Michele’s away, well, I thought I’d come play on her blog. Why do you all look so panicked? No worries. Michele will be back on Saturday.
In all honesty, I miss her. I often share silly pictures I’ve taken throughout the day. And so now, my “photos I want to share with Michele” are backing up on my phone. Not only that, but since my brain is like a sieve, it would probably benefit me to post them here so I don’t forget. That way she can find them when she’s done galavanting around the delicious buffet tables.
Below are the pictures, questions, commentary and other foolishness I would have sent her over the past few days. Enjoy!
Check out the tattoo on this guy’s leg helping me in Auto Zone.
Is that Lurch, Herman Munster or Frankenstein?
Reading “Diary of a Wimpy Kid.” He’s been laughing at the word “fart.” For the past FIVE minutes.
He never finds ME this funny!
Playing with her dolls in the driveway. Of course she decided to hang out in the shade cause I just took 10 minutes to meticulously lather her entire body in sunscreen.
GET IN THE SUN, KID! YOU’RE PROTECTED!
The Baby Huey of all baby carrots. Or a finger. It could be a finger.
This is kinda cruel, but check out my cheese platter I got! That’s apricot chutney and some kind of fancy relish. I should stop describing it to you before you come through my phone and eat my warm goat cheese. HANDS OFF MY CHEESE PLATE, MICHELE!
Sooo, turns out, if you FILL the bird feeder, they will come. Why do birds gotta be so picky?
Did I do this right? Now what? I forget.
Mags wants to show Viv the cut on her eye. She has no idea where it came from or even noticed it until I pointed it out two minutes ago. Now you’d think she’s going to lose her eye. Sigh.
Welcome home, Michele! Pretty sure the only things left in your fridge safe to eat after five days away are the INEDIBLE things. YUM!
OldDogNewTits 
Aww. Thanks, friend. For holding down the fort whilst I gallivanted about the globe. Going off the grid for the week was truly liberating. Makes me long for the unplugged days of my youth. Oh, but I have missed your texts. Let’s take them one at a time now, shall we?
1. Calf Tattoo: First of all, owwwww! And secondly, is it just me or is there some Dwight D. Eisenhower in there?
2. Wimpy Kid Series: The books are sooo funny. I think I’ve read them all. (See. I’m not completely illiterate.) And the movies … oh, the movies. Have I ever mentioned that I have a bit of a crush on Rodrick? Is that weird? Wait, never mind.
3. Sunscreen Rebellion: Turning spite into an art form.
4. Oversized carrot: Yes, Mel. That baby carrot looks just like a (cough) finger. That’s exactly what I was thinking.
5. Cheese Plate: Dammit, I just ate a Pop-Tart.
6. Bird Feeder: Spaz.
7. Hop Scotch: Wait. Is that a joke, Mel? Seriously? I need to teach you how to draw a hop scotch thingy.
8. Eye Injury: How’s my little friend’s eye doing these days? I have no joke here, Mel. Because it’s a cut. ON HER EYE!
You did a great job in my absence. You’re welcome to steal the keys anytime. Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for MEL BUGAJ!!!!!!!
1. Birds expect the 1%ers to fill the feeders.
2. You totally screwed up the hopscotch. I’m a boy and I know this.
3. Maybe if you farted for your kid, he’d find that hilarious, Mel. My kids love when men get racked. Including me.