20 Things Women Should Stop Wearing After Age 30 (Here’s how I scored.)

I ran across an article recently entitled 20 Things Women Should Stop Wearing After Age 30. It was featured on a website called Rant Chic and has been bouncing around Facebook. And, since I am (cough) a little bit over 30, the title intrigued me. ‘Cause I’m quite the trend setter. (smoothing wrinkled Target pants with hole in knee) I’ve got this.

To read the original article, click here. To read my take on the original article, just scroll down. When you see :), it means I’m following the rules. When you see :(, well … Let’s just take a look at my fashion prowess, shall we?

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20 Things Women Should Stop Wearing After Age 30

1. Leopard Print. 🙂

Not now nor ever will I wear leopard print. I don’t know what cat-nailed, smeary-lipsticked, chain-smoking old broad scared me away, but animal prints scream Zsa Zsa to me. Or Mrs. Roper. Or Peg Bundy. Ooh! Or Endora!!

2. Sparkly Pants. 🙂

There is no time period in my life that I would EVER wear these. My butt is the LAST part of my body I want to illuminate and bedazzle. I’d be a walking disco ball.

3. Oversized Sunglasses. 😦

I proudly wore a pair of Jackie O’s well into my 30s. And I’d do it again. Since when is obstructing your aging face a bad thing? Speaking of which, does Old Navy carry burkas?

4. Non-matching socks. 🙂

Is this a thing or am I being punk’d?

5. Hoop earrings. 😦

Wait … what??? Sure, I traded yesterday’s grapefruit-sized hoops for today’s plum-sized variety. But nobody can tell me I can’t wear my hoops. They make me … if you will … who I am.

6. Furry boots. 🙂

Only as house slippers.

7. Furry anything. 😦

Aww, man. I have a fuzzy black vest I just bought a couple of years ago. And I love it. I thinks it adds a splash of Oh-No-You-Di’ent to any outfit.

8. Tube tops. 🙂

Always hated them. I need clothing that allows me to be confident that I’m not one yank from being naked.

9. Short dresses. 🙂

The conditions that ALL must be present for me to wear a short dress:

A. I must remain standing for the entire evening.

B. Eating and drinking are not an option.

C. I must wear heels high enough to alter the skeletal structure of my foot.

D. My ensemble must accommodate either black pantyhose or (better) black tights.

10. Mini skirts. 🙂

See #9.

11. Overalls. 😦

Hold the phone. Women should only wear overalls before age 30?!!? Well, that doesn’t make any sense at all. Seriously, overalls are all the rage for new-mom, I-can’t-lose-the-freaking-baby-weight, drop-one-strap-for-easy-nursing-access fashion. This one’s got to be a typo.

12. Crop tops. 🙂

I wrote and deleted the blurb for this one three times. I just kept using words like slutty, loose and Kelly Kapowski. And I didn’t sound nice. Not at all.

13. American Eagle. 🙂

The only thing I ever bought there was a green jacket that everyone said looked like the one George Costanza wore on Seinfeld. Needless to say, I chucked it immediately.

14. Booty shorts. 🙂

Not unless you’re an In Living Color fly girl. And it’s 1992.

15. Sneakers. 😦

But I LIKE old and raggedy. I AM old and raggedy.

16. Cheap bras. 😦

WhatEVer. Who has the money desire time to shop at Victoria’s Secret?

17. Glitter eyeshadow. 🙂

Not unless it’s Halloween, Mardi Gras or my daughter, Vivien, is at the wheel for my makeover. Or, you know, at carpool.

18. Platform flip-flops. 😦

Hello? Are Volatile flips not THE most comfortable shoe in the world? Bite me, fashion list.

19. Abercrombie & Fitch. 🙂

I hate this store. HATE it. Always have. It’s dark. And loud. Two qualities that make it hard to read price tags and badger friends for their advice.

20. Scrunchies. 😦

I probably have about ten of these in my house. They’re perfect for throwing your hair back for a quick face wash. Now, do I sometimes forget they’re in and venture out into public spaces? Well …

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I scored a 12/20. In other words, 60%. Meaning I failed. Guess the closet and I have a date with a hefty bag. What about you?

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What’s YOUR score?

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22 responses to “20 Things Women Should Stop Wearing After Age 30 (Here’s how I scored.)

  1. Good posting. ) There are a ton of things not meant for us older gals (I’m 40.)

  2. But converse sneakers are my go to shoes…

  3. 14/20 and I will be 30 next month 🙂 I love my leopard print shoes and big sunglasses and no one will take them from me hahaha

  4. What a load if whatnot. Women, people for that matter people, should wear whatever they like. I am 42 and I love my high heels and my short skirts and sexy lingerie. I am 42 for godsake not 82 and even if I was, so what. Wear it, flaunt, be happy and proud.

    Mollyxxx

  5. “I need clothing that allows me to be confident that I’m not one yank from being naked.”

    This sums it up for me. Although I got a 7/20 and some in different areas than you. I have two pairs of leopard print shoes…flats and heels. 😻

  6. Found your article after reading the original and thinking it sounded like it was written by a 25-year-old who hasn’t yet realized that 30 is not very far away. Also…leopard print? Sequined pants? Short dresses? Hoop earrings? Pretty sure whether or not one can pull those off depends on something OTHER than age…I don’t see anyone telling Beyonce she’s too old for that stuff.

  7. I too was wondering how long it will be until princess turns thirty and realizes that it doesn’t automatically come with a walker. I am 55, not over the hill, won’t wear booty shorts or a tube top (but dear god it looked awful at 17!), but I will wear exactly what I please and what I think looks good on me. And the rest of the world be damned. As it turns out, one of the comforts of getting older, is the freedom to make your own choices and not to be defined by arbitrary rules.

  8. Really. Leopard seems more like a mature print to me, so I think it is fine if ladies 30 and up choose to wear the print. I love leopard print, and I will be 36 in March.

  9. Screw this list, I won’t give up my Jackie O’s, Fur apre ski boots, Short skirts/Minis but not crazy short (in summer as long as my legs don’t sag or dimple, or with tights), Cheap Bras, duh…., and platform Volatile flip flops!

  10. I know I know. I am months behind.

    When I was 30 my brother in law told me that I was too old to wear American eagle. I’m now 37 and still wearing it. I can’t help it. Nothing with a visible logo tho 🙂

    • No problem. I love it when an old post gets some action. 🙂

      I actually thought about this post recently when I lost my go-to hoop earrings. I’m not “supposed” to be wearing them anymore, remember? So what did I do? I went to the store and bought a new pair … twice the size. Seriously, these bad boys could double as ankle bracelets.

      So next time you wear your American Eagle apparel, display its logo proudly. I’ll bet it looks great on you.

  11. I gave a huge fuck you to that and the other lists like it. I hate the idea that once you are 30 you shouldn’t wear comfortable things or things that make you feel sexy.

    I am keeping my cheap bras, ratty shoes, and graphic print shirts because my comfort is more important to me than someone’s idea of fashion and what I should be conforming to.

    Ever notice women are harsher on each other than anyone else…..? We’re a product of a society that constantly demeans us and causes us to try and obtain the unattainable.

  12. Sneakers are good for all ages. They’re comfortable and no one’s going to make me give them up!

  13. its’ grea info, l like it.. thaks

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