Oh, my God … I did it!
I’ve been threatening to change my look here at ODNT for well over a year now. I hate that stupid green screen. (Even though I’m pretty sure it’s what finally connected me to Greenland.) What took me so long, you ask? Let’s take a look at that list, shall we?
1. Laziness. Please. What’s the hurry? My nails need painting AND this Jif Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Peanut Butter isn’t going to eat itself.
2. Fear. What if accidentally I erase ODNT? Or WordPress? Or the whole freakin’ information super highway?!!? Seriously, it COULD happen.
3. Stupidity. Honestly, this should probably have been number one. But I was too stupid to think of it until I got to number three.
4. Busyness. Contrary to what you might think, I do actually do other things besides write for ODNT. (see #1)
5. Sleep. Since it accounts for 30% of my time in the last year, I thought it merited mentioning. Because I can’t change my theme while I’m sleeping. Duh!
ODNT is a little over two years old now. I’ve written 632 posts on scads of topics about scores of people, places and things. What if I lost it all? What if no one recognizes me anymore? What if, after changing to a new theme, the formatting for everything got totally screwed up? I don’t want to go back through 632 posts and fix everything, do you? (awkward pause) I didn’t think so.
But then I thought about Renee Zellweger.
She wasn’t afraid of losing her fan base. Or too busy filming chick-flickity blockbusters. Or too lazy to see a plastic surgeon. She just took the plunge and got herself a whole new image. No looking back. No regrets. And, if Renee can do it, then damn it … so can I!
So tonight I just decided to throw caution to the wind … to leap before I look … to pull the trigger. I scrolled through the WordPress themes, found one that didn’t displease me and pressed “Activate!” (Actually, I think it said “Use this theme,” but that’s not nearly as electrifying.) And it worked! Well, it worked for the most recent post anyway. I’ll check the other 631 later. (see #1 above)
Until then, remember when you see Renee Zellweger and/or me, know that just because we’ve changed on the outside doesn’t necessarily mean we’ve changed on the inside. I can’t speak for Renee, but I still promise the same meaningless, inconsequential, you-never-learn-anything-important dumbassery that we’ve always served up here at ODNT. So stick around and bring a friend. I’ve got more than enough for everyone.