Have you ever feared you were really someone else? No? Just me?

Something super weird happened to me this morning. The kids and I had to be somewhere shortly after lunch so we were getting dressed when off in the distance the house phone rang. (YES, I still have a house phone. U-Verse swears to me that my bill will actually go up if I turn it off. And NO, that doesn’t make sense to me either.)

Anyway, like all suspicious American families, we never answer the phone until we know who it is. I’ve been swindled into far too many surveys and donations that way. (Bah!) These days, it’s all about Caller ID. And my son was actually the first one to reach the screen and read it. I called out to him as I was running over, “Well?? Who is it?”

He just stared at the screen, looking very confused. “It’s … you.” (cue swell of creepy music)

“What? What do you MEAN it’s … wait, WHAT?!!?” I actually interrupted myself as my eyes focused on the phone’s screen. He was right. It listed my name and the very same phone number as the number it was calling. (bloodcurdling scream)

THE CALL WAS COMING FROM INSIDE THE PHONE!!

I can’t explain why this odd phenomenon actually frightened me, but it totally did. I literally backed away from the phone. How could I be calling myself AT the same number I was calling FROM? The whole thing was way too Being John Malkovich for my comfort level. So I fled the room in oddly-inappropriate terror.

Then I started thinking.

What if the person on the other end of the phone was the real Michele Robert Poche? What if I’m the imposter? I’ve been using her credit cards, wearing her clothes and even posing as her children’s mother. She is going to be pissed! Who the hell am I, anyway? And why did I steal this woman’s life?!!? Oh, my God, you guys! EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!!!

Then I Googled it and realized it was just the latest telemarketing scam. (cough) Crisis averted. (slinks out of room)

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Per MamaKat’s writing prompt: Write a blog post inspired by the word born.

In the words of David Hannum, “there’s a sucker born every minute.” You’re welcome to ALL of the other people born within my particular minute. Glad I could take one for the team.

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12 responses to “Have you ever feared you were really someone else? No? Just me?

  1. I thought WE were the only ones with a landline. Guess it’s you and me!

  2. We have a landline too. 🙂 And you’re exactly right, I never answer it. Now I know to be on the lookout if I decide to call myself. That would freak me out too!

  3. If telemarketers were smart, they’d use the Caller ID “Jesus Christ.” Who would say no to Jesus?

  4. I totally can see being freaked out by this:) now I’m going to contemplating this post all day- haha

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