Tag Archives: amy ragg

The Jud & Bill Prize Package – She is Finally Revealed!

Remember Amy Ragg, our winner of the Jud & Bill Episode 11 Contest?

Well, the hardworking people here at ODNT mailed off her glorious prize package this week … and we just received notification that she has received it!

hardworking /härd·wər’·kiNG/ cheese-eating, oversleeping, always looking for a shortcut to get the job done

people /pē’·pəl/ ODNT herself and her two kids, undoubtedly violating the child labor laws of this country 

glorious /glô’··əs/ something you would give your co-worker as a gag gift

And, in the interest of building suspense and keeping the surprise for Amy, we didn’t want to reveal the contents of this valuable prize package … until now.

suspense /sə·spens’/ a cheap and lazy grab at another blog post

valuable /ˈval·yo͞o’·ə·bəl/ worth at least the cost of the envelope and stamp that got it there

* * * * * * * * * * 

So, here’s what Amy got in the mail today. Hold on to your hats, my friends.

First, there was the letter. And, with the bottomless expense account afforded to me here at ODNT, I used only the finest stationery.

bottomless /ˈbä’·təm·les/ whatever could be scraped together from the recesses of her purse

stationery /stā’·SHə·ne·rē/ loose leaf shoved in her girl’s bedroom drawer next to a ceramic kitty


Then, as the letter promised and because we are all about it here at ODNT, I included some of the finest cheeses I could get my hands on here in the Southeastern Region of these United States. For the record, they are considered a delicacy in this household.

finest /fīn’·est/ edible, suitable for mailing, within the budgetary limits

delicacy /del’·i··sē/ something requested for inclusion in a Christmas stocking, best enjoyed with Wheat Thins


And finally, my favorite part of the prize package. My girl (dubbed ODNT Jr. by my pal, Mel at According to Mags) took the time to depict Jud & Bill in watercolor, customizing it with a special message for our winner.

watercolor /ˈwô’·tər··lər/ bits of paperless Crayola littering the bottom of the junk drawer



She even signed it on the flip side.

flip side /flip sīd/ Sure, I could’ve just said “back” but I like the sound of flip side. Reminds me of 45 records and my youth.

youth /yo͞oTH/ something just revealed to have taken place long ago by letting the term ’45 record’ slip


Editor’s Note – From the messages I’ve received since announcing this secret prize package, I know I have disappointed many of you by NOT sending a hamster through the mail to Amy. Quite frankly, I’m very flattered that you considered me competent enough to devise a method for mailing live cargo. Maybe next time.
I’d have to use dry ice, right?


And the winner of the Jud & Bill Episode 11 Contest is …

Have I been REMISS or have I been SLACKASSED? You be the judge.

re·miss   ri·mis’ – (adj.) negligent, careless, or slow in performing one’s duty, business, etc.


slack·assed   slak’·ast – (adj.) lazy; whiny; buck-passing; lame excuse-generating; easily distracted by snacks

* * * * * * * * * *

Well, yes. The contest ended Monday … so I should have announced the winner Tuesday morning … but I (stepping up on pretty pink, bedazzled pedestal) have been busy celebrating the birth of our nation this week.

So EXCUSE ME for being patriotic.

I’M SORRY if my allegiance became your inconvenience.

And if CARING MORE ABOUT AMERICA than about this whole website contest is wrong, then I don’t wanna be …

Oh, whatever. I had stuff to do.  But don’t mistake my slackassery for disinterest. Hosting this inaugural link-up was a blast for me. You guys really outdid yourselves. I promise whenever I get around to my next one that it’ll be easier (and WAY more brainless!) for all of us. And, that said, I guess I should actually be announcing a winner. I so wish I could name all of you.

“You’re all winners!”

Alas, the ODNT budget barely allows for one winner let alone a whole panel of victors. So, we put it up for a vote and let YOU decide. Ladies and gentlemen, the tribe has spoken. (I have never seen Survivor. Gosh, I hope I used that quote correctly.) The winner of the Jud & Bill Episode 11 Contest is … Amy Ragg of Betty Rants.

Congratulations, Amy! Please email me at olddognewtits@gmail.com with your snail mail address so I can send you a little token of my esteem. I don’t want to ruin the surprise for Amy so I won’t reveal what it is here until I confirm she’s received it. Until then, please go visit Amy on Twitter (@oneragglette) and tell her she’s awesome.

Thank You! Thank You! Thank You to everyone who researched, read, wrote and voted. You are now all of my favorite readers and can sit in the front section of my blog nearest to the stage. That’s where we serve the good drinks.

To view the other hilarious entries, click here. To view the dumbassery that let up to the contest, click here.