Tag Archives: odnt jr.

The ODNT, Jr. “Vote for My Mom” Campaign (Part 3)


Maybe it’s because it’s a big election year.

Maybe it’s because she loves me.

Or maybe it’s just because it provides yet another platform for her to showcase her two favorite little varmints.

In any event, my girl is determined to help me secure my position in the Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Moms Contest. Previous campaign efforts include Herve in the Kitchen and Herve’s Crippling Food Issues. And now she’s back with a third creation, her latest pro-ODNT propaganda entitled “The Case of the Missing Hot Pocket.”

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Confused? Don’t be. It’s a pretty simple concept. She draws something funny, you laugh hysterically and then you think to yourself, “Gosh, what a funny blog! I wonder if there are any nice people out there who give awards for this kind of crazy stuff.” Well, wonder no more. The answer is yes. You can vote right here. Every day until February 13. And here’s how:

1. Click here.

2. Scroll down to ODNT.

3. Click “VOTE.”

Silver Circle – Vote daily AND pressure friends to do the same.

Gold Circle – Vote daily, pressure friends to do the same AND post on all social media.

Platinum Circle – Vote daily, pressure friends to do the same, post on all social media AND wear sandwich board whenever awake to help promote the cause.

You can vote for as many women as you like. I recommend AccordingToMags, HotMessMom and Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms … to name just a few. Take a minute and look around once you’re in. There’s a whole mess of funny at that party. Just remember to vote. So ODNT, Jr’s efforts aren’t all in vain. Thanks.


* * * * * Got five seconds? * * * * *

Please click that FANCY PANTS PINK BALL (above) to visit the Circle of Moms site and vote for ODNT for Top 25 Funny Moms.

I need this, people! Someone stole my Hot Pocket!

Vote daily ’til February 13. Thanks!

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The ODNT, Jr. “Vote for My Mom” Campaign (Part 2)


Remember my sweet girl’s plan to get me named a Top 25 Funny Mom? Well, her efforts continue with this second drawing … depicting Herve the Hamster and his overeating disorder.

20130131-094436.jpgSeriously, how can you resist a campaign poster with rodent poo all over it? 

So, please take what I guarantee will only be two minutes of your time to throw a vote my direction. It’s really important to … (cough, sputter) … my daughter. And, as with most things in my life, I’m going to need EVERY SINGLE VOTE to keep up with the powerhouse of funny ladies with whom I’m nominated.

Here’s what I’m going to PATHETICALLY  BEG of you until February 13:

1. Click here.

2. Scroll down to ODNT. Lower … lower. Yep, there I am.

3. Click “vote.”

Please do it every 24 hours. And call your grandmother, your high school chemistry teacher who tried to fail you because you confused Mendelevium with Manganese, even your plumber … and ask them to do it, too. I’m not kidding. I love your plumber. He’s a riot and I think he really gets my sense of humor.

You can vote for as many women as you like. I recommend AccordingToMags … and HotMessMom and … well, you just can’t go wrong with any of them. Just vote. Often, please. And TELL YOUR FRIENDS. Thanks!


* * * * * Got five seconds? * * * * *

Please click that FANCY PANTS PINK BALL (above) to visit the Circle of Moms site and vote for ODNT for Top 25 Funny Moms.

I need this, people! I’m using vermin feces to gain votes!

vote daily ’til February 13. Thanks!

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ODNT, Jr. is Campaigning for Me


HER: (exhibiting genuine interest) “Whatcha looking at, Mama?”

ME: (channeling a crappy mom by not turning away from the computer and dismissing the question) “Nothing.”

HER: (regurgitating my ‘mom words’ back to me) “It’s not nothing if there’s something on the screen, Mama. What is it?”

ME: (still attempting to preserve my dignity and change the subject) “Just a little contest Mama’s in.”

HER: (exhibiting more genuine interest that I don’t deserve) “A contest for what?”

ME: (giving in since she already knows her mom is a goofball who dons a ketchup costume twice a month in public anyway) “Oh, it’s just a contest to pick the Top 25 Funny Moms on a website called Circle of Moms.”

HER: (leaping up excitedly) “A contest?!!? Wait! I’ll be right back!”

I’m just a regular mom. And that means sometimes I want to pull my hair out and run screaming from the house when my kids are driving me nuts. And other times I wonder what on earth I did to deserve such amazing little people who are actually interested in me and who want to help me with my half-baked, softheaded shenanigans intellectually stimulating projects.

Such was the case with Vivien last weekend when she heard about the Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Moms contest.

Three hours later …

“I want you to win, Mama,” she said, handing me a stack of drawings she’d be working on in her room to help me in my quest to make you laugh.

Truth? Yes, they made me laugh. They also made me cry a little. That she’d give up a big chunk of her weekend to help out her old lady … well I don’t think I was that good a daughter when I was a kid. (Let’s see if my mom takes the bait when she reads this post.)

So anyway, without further ado … I give you the first of the ODNT, Jr. Vote for My Mom for Top 25 Funny Moms original creations. This one is entitled “Herve’s Black Seed Brownie Recipe.”

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It centers on the ever-growing hamster in this household and his favorite delicacy. Which we recently learned leads to morbid obesity in rodents. (Yep. That’s a thing.)

But, ODNT, how do we vote for you?

IT’s EASY! And IN ONLY Three Steps!

  1. Click here.
  2. Scroll down to Old Dog New Tits. God willing, I’ll still be in the Top 25 when you do.
  3. Click “vote” next to Old Dog New Tits.

And it wouldn’t suck if you also voted for my friends, According to Mags and Hot Mess Mom while you’re there. They’re both funny ladies of whom I personally I am a big fan. You can actually vote for as many people as you like. Once every 24 hours. Until February 13. Per device. Or so they tell me. 🙂

Fine, ODNT. We’ll vote for you and your friends. EVERY BLASTED DAY until February 13. But what’s in it for us, fool?

As my way of saying thank you for taking a minute of your time each day  … and having every person you’ve ever known do the same … I wanted to share a YouTube clip of my favorite dancing hill person, Jesco White.


* * * * * Got five seconds? * * * * *

Please click that FANCY PANTS PINK BALL (above) to visit the Circle of Moms site and vote for ODNT for Top 25 Funny Moms.

I need this! I’ve RESORTED to child labor.

vote daily ’til February 13. Thanks!

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The Jud & Bill Prize Package – She is Finally Revealed!


Remember Amy Ragg, our winner of the Jud & Bill Episode 11 Contest?

Well, the hardworking people here at ODNT mailed off her glorious prize package this week … and we just received notification that she has received it!

hardworking /härd·wər’·kiNG/ cheese-eating, oversleeping, always looking for a shortcut to get the job done

people /pē’·pəl/ ODNT herself and her two kids, undoubtedly violating the child labor laws of this country 

glorious /glô’··əs/ something you would give your co-worker as a gag gift

And, in the interest of building suspense and keeping the surprise for Amy, we didn’t want to reveal the contents of this valuable prize package … until now.

suspense /sə·spens’/ a cheap and lazy grab at another blog post

valuable /ˈval·yo͞o’·ə·bəl/ worth at least the cost of the envelope and stamp that got it there

* * * * * * * * * * 

So, here’s what Amy got in the mail today. Hold on to your hats, my friends.

First, there was the letter. And, with the bottomless expense account afforded to me here at ODNT, I used only the finest stationery.

bottomless /ˈbä’·təm·les/ whatever could be scraped together from the recesses of her purse

stationery /stā’·SHə·ne·rē/ loose leaf shoved in her girl’s bedroom drawer next to a ceramic kitty

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Then, as the letter promised and because we are all about it here at ODNT, I included some of the finest cheeses I could get my hands on here in the Southeastern Region of these United States. For the record, they are considered a delicacy in this household.

finest /fīn’·est/ edible, suitable for mailing, within the budgetary limits

delicacy /del’·i··sē/ something requested for inclusion in a Christmas stocking, best enjoyed with Wheat Thins

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And finally, my favorite part of the prize package. My girl (dubbed ODNT Jr. by my pal, Mel at According to Mags) took the time to depict Jud & Bill in watercolor, customizing it with a special message for our winner.

watercolor /ˈwô’·tər··lər/ bits of paperless Crayola littering the bottom of the junk drawer

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She even signed it on the flip side.

flip side /flip sīd/ Sure, I could’ve just said “back” but I like the sound of flip side. Reminds me of 45 records and my youth.

youth /yo͞oTH/ something just revealed to have taken place long ago by letting the term ’45 record’ slip

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Editor’s Note – From the messages I’ve received since announcing this secret prize package, I know I have disappointed many of you by NOT sending a hamster through the mail to Amy. Quite frankly, I’m very flattered that you considered me competent enough to devise a method for mailing live cargo. Maybe next time.
I’d have to use dry ice, right?

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