The Gluten-Free Diet. It’s the latest health movement to hit the shelves, the market, my kitchen. And we all know what gluten is by now, right?

gluten /ˈglo͞otn/ (n.) – the ingredient in food, especially dessert and bread, that makes it delicious 

Now when I say “diet,” I’m referring to the kinder, gentler form of the word as in “daily regimen” (not “restrictive punishment”). But I’m not opposed to dropping a few pounds. I’ve fought with the same 5-10 SOBs for twenty years. They love me but I keep sending them back to the curb. (One of these days, I’m changing the locks.) It’s just that lately I’ve been feeling not quite myself … as in beaten down, achy, even dealing with a few skin issues. Long story short … everyone keeps touting the benefits of eliminating gluten from my diet. And I figured … if I could eat nothing but baby food for five days … then ditching gluten for the same five (or longer) should be a piece of cake.

Cake?!!? (Why did I have to say cake?)

(underpaid lackey runs in) “Okay, everybody. ODNT, Ditching Gluten, Take TWO!” (clack)

(Back to me) …”And I figured … if I could eat nothing but baby food for five days … then ditching gluten for the same five (or longer) should be a piece of organic, free-range, skinless chicken breast.”

Here are just a FEW things I’ve heard it can help:

• Eyesight
• Headaches
• Sleep
• Skin Problems
• Chronic Fatigue
• Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
• Depression

So, you know what? I’m trying it. Along with Elizabeth Hasselback, Chelsea Clinton, Zooey Deschanel and a bunch of other “celebrities” I’ve never heard of. It’s already my third day. I’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime, does anyone want to …

• offer any helpful tips?
• slam me for trying it?
• take bets on how long ’til I cave?

Am I serious?

Well FYI, I had to make brownies for my daughter’s bake sale today …

… and you wouldn’t believe how fast I grabbed the Palmolive!

Game On, Gluten!