Tag Archives: neil diamond

Things I’m Afraid to Tell You


A Note from ODNT … Due to popular demand (for my hideously ugly secrets), I am linking this post a second time to the fabulous Honest Mom’s blog. Enjoy reading about the skeletons of even more internet writers here. (Added 6/25/12) 

* * * * * * * * * * *

Link-ups are big in the online writing community. They help get your name out there to new readers as well as provide you with actual content for your site. So, when I saw that my writing friend, Lindsey from With a Little Love and Luck, was participating in a link-up called ‘Things I’m Afraid to Tell You,’ I decided to give it a try, too.

I started by taking a look at some of the other entries. And I saw some pretty heavy confessions like “I struggle with bipolar disorder” and “I’m an atheist” which had me wondering if I could go through with this exercise. But then I saw a few lighter ones like “I’m intimidated by Facebook” and “I shave my toes.” Alright, fine. So maybe I can do it. And, if you know me at all, you know I’m going to have a little fun while I’m at it.

20120619-140745.jpg

1. I double dip … but just at home. Honest! It’s really just a peanut butter thing. I mean … how else am I going to get it on every bite of that lengthy pretzel rod? (And, to those who say “spoon,” I say “that’s an extra dish to wash!”) Interestingly though, I have the gall to chastise my children for doing the same. Good Lord, who knows where their hands have been? (I know. What a hypocrite.)

2. I have every one of my children’s teeth and (here’s where it gets weird) their umbilical cord stumps saved in a little box in my bedroom. I think I was a hippie in a past life. Seriously, if anyone ever rifles through my stuff, they’ll probably think I’m a serial killer. Oh, but I can’t wait to see the looks on my kids’ faces when I hand them their boxes on their 18th birthdays. Perhaps I’ll string them into jewelry … or some cuff links for my boy.

3. I am Catholic and, while I don’t subscribe to all of the teachings, I do believe in Heaven. I find that my life is much nicer this way. The anticipation. The accountability. So, if you know something I don’t, please don’t ruin my happy ending for me.

4. I hate The Office, The Hangover, reality television and country music. I know. YOU think they’re awesome. YOU know if I could “just see this one part” or “hear this one song,” you could win me over. Wrong. But I won’t judge you for liking them. Or at least I won’t do it in front of you. And I promise you won’t ever change my mind.

Sidebar #1 … I can remember watching an interview back in the 90s with one of David Koresh’s disciples and hearing her say that people just “didn’t understand his charisma” and that “if you just sat in a room with him for five minutes he could win you over.” And I remember thinking right then and there that I wished the man was alive so that I could sit in a room with him for five minutes. Hell, I’d give him an hour. And he could bring Kool-Aid or whatever beverage he wanted to serve. All I knew was that I was walking out of the room as the same person who walked in. When my mind is made up, it’s not easily swayed. Bring it, Koresh.

5. I (still) have basic cable and VCRs (two of them, thank you) in my house. Hooked up. Not in addition to DVR but instead of it. I just can’t justify the added expense. Plus, the only things ever watched in this house are sports, Nickelodeon and Netflix so what difference does it make? (I’ll bet my entire family just crawled under the table in shame.)

6. I have seen Liza Minnelli, Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow and Donny & Marie all in concert. Not together. But, wow, what a show that would be. I love all of these performers … there I said it … and all with good reason. They all represent meaningful connections in my life. Liza = my mom. Neil = my dad. Barry = my grandmother. Donny & Marie = me, the early years. I should probably make a trip to Vegas soon. I’ll bet they’re all playing somewhere. And I could call it The ODNT Sentimental Tour. (Actually, we could probably come up with something better than that by the time I have the t-shirts printed. Now accepting ideas.)

7. I can go for up to five days without washing my hair. I’m not talking about bathing in general, mind you. That happens every day. But hair washing? Well, let’s just say that I’ve discovered the waterless spray “shampoo” that all the octogenarians are talking about. Don’t knock it ’til you try it.

8. I don’t know how to dive. Not even close. When I was young, a kid from my class died in a diving accident and, since then, the idea of jumping into anything with my eyes closed, leading with my skull, just seemed like a terribly reckless idea. I guess now I’m unteachable. I think I missed the window.

9. I don’t flush the toilet when I pee in the middle of the night. It all started when we lived in a glorified closet and my first child was an infant. Since then, I’ve just come to feel the noise is entirely too jarring and messes with my whole middle-of-the-night, tranquility vibe.

Sidebar #2 … Why do I have to get up two or three times every night to pee (none of which is flushed until the sun has risen) while my cat manages the whole time just fine in my room shut off from his “facilities?” His kitty bladder must only be the size of an apple. And I’m talking about the small, dinky kind they pack in boxed lunches. He’s my hero. It just doesn’t add up.

10. I have NO idea where I’ll be in five years. Zero. And that scares the snot out of me.

Sidebar #3 … I’ve now managed to work “snot” into the blog for two consecutive posts. Should I keep it going?

Thanks for reading.

What about you? Care to admit to anything in the comments below?

20120407-223706.jpg

The Disney Trip with my Kids – A Vacation in Tweets


Today’s Weight … 123.2

Yes, that’s right.  We’re up. Almost three pounds.  I blame Mardi Gras. And the fact that Disney World had cheese far more readily available than I expected.  And fried snacks. That I personally didn’t order. But my kids did and then didn’t finish. Little rats.  And me, being the green-living environmentalist, not wanting to waste food and all, well … fine, fine. I’m back on the stupid, low-cal, fat-free horse.  Mmmmm …. horse.

Don’t get it? Check this post.

In the interest of sheer laziness (my LEAP for the DAY), I give you a very abbreviated version of my recent family jaunt to Disney World in Orlando, Florida with much of my girl’s 4th grade class. You have to admit … reposting (only my favorite) tweets from the trip is a geniusly-brilliant way of fulling my Leap to Laziness for the Day.


Now boarding flight to Orlando. Burly men with rabid dogs guarding my house. Plus land mines everywhere. Rob at your own risk.

Pushing it with phone. Me and @alecbaldwin. Powering off …

Landed. Call your mothers and tell them we’re okay.

How long do you give me ’til I take out a ceramic shelf of ‘priceless’ figurines with my backpack?

Why MAKE a reservation if you’re not going to KEEP the reservation?!!? Come on, Mexico!

Headed to Animal Kingdom to scare the crap out of the kids for a first ride on Everest.

And now my family is on the River Rapids ride. I’m hanging back. I don’t do wet rides. Except Splash Mountain.

How hungry must I be to be coveting my neighbor’s corn dog?

The large Diet Coke was a really stupid idea. Wonder how many adults have peed themselves on Space Mountain?

Use ’em or lose ’em. Bladder, don’t fail me now.

20120229-140934.jpg

The seagulls here have massively big balls. And I mean that figuratively. Or is it metaphorically?

What I mean is that these damned birds are trying to snatch food right out of our hands.

Who knew seagulls liked churros?

Stupid rain.

20120229-140924.jpg

The wind is so strong it blew over a full metal garbage can. LOUD crash. Shouldn’t this shit be bolted down?

Taking cover in a souvenir store. Bet Disney planned this storm.

Oh-Em-Gee. I could eat a horse. I wonder if they’ll be serving it at the food court.

My kid actually just said … “Are we there yet?” I am living the dream.

We’re about to become the Donner Party. #starving

Dave looks like a drumstick. #starving

I never realized how delicious my kids look. Is that wrong? #starving

Okay, fine. It’s VERY wrong. But I am STARVING!

Chicken sandwich, by the way. My kids are safe …

Just went ‘backstage’ in Haunted Mansion. Could’ve reached out and touched ghosts in ballroom scene. Very cool.

The SUPER pass – What you get when your ride breaks down. Good for ANY ride.

20120229-140918.jpg

Oxymoron? (It’s okay. It’s my people.)

20120229-140913.jpg

Score!

20120229-140907.jpg

That is one big ass ball.

20120229-140901.jpg

My feet. They are on fire.

No fruit or vegetables for the last 48 hours. This is going to wreak havoc on me internally.

 

Okay, my kids are starting to pick up on Song of the South’s racism.

Drinking through World Showcase with a dozen or so grown-ups.

If we count as couples, we’ve already conquered Mexico, France, England & Norway …

And Germany …

And Italy …

France. My order … Vouvray, Beaujolais & Pinot Noir …

I gotta sit down.

Singing @neildiamond very loudly.

Why didn’t anyone tell me what a bad idea the whole drinking through the countries idea was? #hangover

Leaving Hoop-de-doo. Last time I came I was puked on. Twice. Only once by my own child. Feeling lucky.

Our parking valet is named Elvis. And he’s from Tupelo, Mississippi.

 20120229-140808.jpg

Riding Tower of Terror alone. Lines down. Can’t resist.

Now riding Rock ‘n’ Rollercoaster. Creepy single rider. Again.

Fine. We bought into the pin trading phenomenon.

My boy just met David Robinson at the ESPN Zone on the Boardwalk.

I’m really wishing my last name was Disney right about now.

Um, I’m SO not getting on the scale tomorrow. And you can’t make me.

Security has never smelled footier.

“I taste pickles.” – my kid, walking through Orlando Airport, not eating or having recently eaten pickles

Where’s @alecbaldwin? My flight’s taking off and I want to play Words with Friends.

20120407-223706.jpg