Tag Archives: Alec Baldwin

NINE Words That Come Up Often at ODNT

After my recent post this week about Johnny Depp’s birthday, I started thinking to myself about the other recurring subject matter here at ODNT. And wondering just how recurring some of it actually was. And after I was done wondering, I began worrying. “Good Gosh, Michele,” said my very dorky, Ned Flanders-y inner voice, “I’d hate to think that you’re a one-trick-pony. Are you offering a diverse enough menu to your readers?” (Again, my inner voice is a HUGE dork.)

So, in the interest of appeasing my dorky side, let’s take a look at how often some of my most popular keywords showed up around here, shall we?


  1. Alec Baldwin – 11

  2. Musical Theater – 14

  3. Johnny Depp – 19

  4. Hamster – 27

  5. Dean – 37

  6. Vivien – 43

  7. Ketchup – 66

  8. Cheese – 95

  9. Cat – 254

So Ketchup beat out the kids. Well, I guess that’s no big surprise. It IS a recurring theme around here. And, of course, cheese topped that. (distracted) Cheese-topped. (drool) Damn it. Now I’m hungry.


But that THIS freak show conquered everything to be my most recurring topic of conversation? Well, I guess we know who the cat lady’s gonna be in my neighborhood in a few decades.


June is Blog Post by Numbers Month. Wanna play with Mel and me? Just write a “listy-type” post with a number in the title (ex. FOUR Reasons I Love Mayonnaise, SIX Things You Can Do With A Paper Clip). Then link back to us and tweet us about it so we can include you on June 30th in our final list: (Number-Yet-To-Be-Determined) Great Bloggers Who Played the Blog Post by Numbers Game!

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Guess who’s at the top of my Fish List this holiday season?

You guys have all heard of Gorton’s, right? As in (and I’m actually singing it in my head right now) “Trust the Gorton’s fisherman.

He’s the friendly sailor who sells tasty fish-centric products to consumers just like you and me. He’s a little salty and crusty (not unlike the tasty seafood entrees he represents) but he’s definitely someone you’d trust completely to have at your dinner table. Especially if he brought the eats. Which is what we’re talking about today.

Representing yet another fine exhibitor at the BlogHer conference last July, Gorton’s contacted me (and lots of other fish-loving bloggers) about doing a little promotion here at ODNT. Here’s what’s involved:

  • Food Sampling (Eating. No problem. Next!)
  • For FREE (Seriously? It’s like this promotion was created for me.)
  • Easy recipes (Even for a kitchen spaz. In this example, the spaz = me.)
  • Prizes (I get to spoil one lucky, fish-loving reader.)

I wasted no time in getting started. I grabbed my press kit and ran to the nearest grocery store. Using the coupons and recipe cards in the kit as well as my trusty iPhone to look up a few other ideas, I came home and made the following three meals on three consecutive nights. Check ’em out!


Fish tacos (with Gorton’s Signature Grilled Tilapia)


Honey Mustard Beer Batter Fillet Sandwiches (with Gorton’s Beer Batter Fillets)


Citrus Grilled Shrimp Salad (with Gorton’s Skillet Crisp Shrimp)

When I tell you that everyone was happy and wanted seconds, I’m not exaggerating one bit. (Well, except for my boy. Who doesn’t like fish. Or seafood in general. And we live in New Orleans, Louisiana. … I know, right?!!?) But Dave, Viv and I were very happy with our three meals. They were all yummy, ridiculously easy to prepare and even nutritionally balanced. Our favorite, you ask? Honestly? Probably the beer batter sandwich. I’ve only been to London once … but those fillets taste a lot like the stuff on a good fish and chips platter. Really makes me want to go back. (Sigh) Which reminds me …


The good people of Gorton’s invite everyone to enter their Wicked Good Seafood Contest to win a trip for four including airfare, lodging, activities and even a little spending money! (Gosh, I hope I’m eligible.) And while you’re at Gortons.com, why not check out their products, pick a recipe, download a coupon and get dinner on the table as easily as I did? Your family will think you worked way harder than you actually did. And that’s always a plus.

Keep up with the Gorton’s by following them on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. You could even win a prize package with coupons, recipes, postcards and even a cute little ship wheel keychain. (Yours is probably falling apart anyway.)


Oh, and finally, a gratuitous shot of my adorable daughter and her favorite Gorton’s creation. (Thanks for helping me, Viv.) 


Gorton's Wicked Good Seafood



Hello, Greenland? Can You Hear Me?

What self-respecting writer doesn’t keep up with her demographics? Well … me, for one. But I never claimed to respect myself anyway. Still, it’s been a year since I made the groundbreaking discovery detailed below. And what have I done about it? WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Nothing. I have failed you, Greenland.


The darker the color, the greater the ODNT readership in that territory. Notice the vast white land mass in the top center. Those are my haters in Greenland.

But I won’t rest until I get at least one reader from the 56,370 people living in your 840,000 square miles! (pausing to think) Maybe if I wrote a blog post about the fact that there are only two traffic lights in all of Greenland. … Seriously, when do you guys change the radio station? Or put on lipstick?!!? Wait! Maybe Greenlanders don’t even wear lipstick! You know, being from different cultures and all.

Anyway, as you may recall, I began stalking you as a country/continent/popsicle more than a year ago. Let’s take a look, shall we?













Alright, fine. Maybe I got a little silly. It is, after all, what I do best. Which you would know if you ever bothered to read ODNT!! Just know this. I am a persistent pest of a person. And I really want to hear from someone in Greenland. Anyone! And, once I’ve got something ridiculous in my head, I don’t back down easily. Just ask Alec Baldwin.

In the meantime, I’ll start brushing up on my Greenlandic. I’ve already learned a few useful phrases, such as Qanoq ateqarpit? (What’s your name?), Naak W.C-ii? (Where’s the toilet?) and Umiatsiaasara pullattagaq nimerussanik ulikkaarpoq (My hovercraft is full of eels.)

What? Maybe that happens a lot in Greenland.

* * * * * * * * * *

Okay, Greenland. The ball’s in your court. Come say hi! You can reach me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or Pinterest. Or just comment below. I’ll have a bowl of warm suaasat* waiting for you.

(*traditional Greenlandic soup made from seal or sometimes whale, reindeer or seabirds)


I Don't Like Mondays Blog Hop

Happy 1st Anniversary, ODNT!

Yes, that’s right. Just one year ago today, I wrote a blog post

… then sweated buckets about it, sent proofs to half a dozen people, second guessed myself, ate a pound of cheese and drank a bottle of wine contemplating it, considered scrapping the whole thing, third guessed myself, cried quietly, berated myself in front of the mirror …

and hit publish.

It’s been a very interesting first year. CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW to see just a few of the highlights in my scrapbook.


If you’re interested in reading some of the stories in this scrapbook, I’ve included the links for you at the end of this post. Because I understand lazy. And I know I would NEVER bother to look them up on my own. And I’m assuming that, if you read this blog, you’re probably lazy like me. So I did your heavy lifting for you today.

Thanks to all of you for riding shotgun with me the past year. Here’s to year number two!

The Posts that Inspired ‘Things You Read About on ODNT (2011-12)’

  1. Man Boobs Quiz  & Answers *
  2. Hoarder on Wheels
  3. Naked Mole Rats Introduction & Tweeting Spree
  4. Norma Stitz *
  5. Bitchy Barbies Introduction, Playdate & Acquisition
  6. Red Hair Dye Phobias
  7. Drug Hallucinations
  8. Tumor Look-a-like Contest *
  9. The AMC Letters: One, Two, Three & Four
  10. Bag Balm
  11. Just Say No to Saving the Earth
  12. Paging Mr. Baldwin: The Appeal & The Response
  13. Hunger Games Prequel
  14. My Junior Novel (maybe)
  15. How does one say Goodbye to a Toilet?
  16. A Hairy Day at Disney World
  17. A Cow named Michele
  18. Creating a New Identity for my Class Reunion
  19. When Johnny Depp came to my BBQ
  20. Spray Cheese Delivered to your Door
  21. Things You Learn While Drinking Wine
  22. A Bloody Good Idea for Next Summer
  23. The Hamster’s Going to Need a Lot of Therapy

* These posts have been deleted for undisclosed reasons. And, for the record,  it is NOT because I’ve been served with restraining orders from John Travolta, Norma Stitz and Homer Simpson.


In the Large Crayola box that is ODNT, today’s color is … melancholy

It occurred to me recently that ODNT has developed a bit of a split personality disorder.  On the one hand, we’re flexing our writing muscles with challenging exercises like the ones submitted to Trifecta … but, on the other, we’re still doing things like having fun with Alec Baldwin.  I like the broad spectrum of topics we cover.  It sort of makes me feel as though there’s a little something here for everyone … like Jerry Maguire … or a good sweet and salty party mix.

Anyway, for today, it’s time for the Trifecta Weekly Challenge.  My entry is below but it can also be viewed along with all others submitted by clicking here.  All entries must be between 33 and 333 words and they must include a chosen word, used according to the third definition provided.  For more detailed information, click here.

This week’s word (and we’re using definition number three) is …

trail verb \ˈtrāl\

1     a:  to hang down so as to drag along or sweep the ground
b:  to extend over a surface in a loose or straggling manner <a vine that trails over the ground>
c:  to grow to such length as to droop over toward the ground

2     a:  to walk or proceed draggingly, heavily, or wearily : plod, trudge
b:  to lag behind : do poorly in relation to others

3:     to move, flow, or extend slowly in thin streams <smoke trailing from chimneys>

* * * * * * * * * *

This week’s Trifecta entry – Powering Through  

* * * * * * * * * *

She panicked when the cramping started again. And she wondered how long she had been asleep. She stared, bleary-eyed, at the alarm clock on her nightstand.  5:45am.  It had been nearly four hours since her last waves of pain.  She reasoned that was a good thing … but her futile attempts at optimism were crushed when she felt the ripping pain return in her abdomen.

“Damn it,” she cursed breathlessly, reaching for her phone.  She texted him again. “Things don’t look good.  Please come soon.”

But she knew before the message was delivered that he was still in the air on the plane that would bring him home … too late to help.  Too late to get her to the hospital.   Too late to really do anything for her.

“But what could he really do if he was here?” she reasoned, remembering the doctor’s patronizing words. “Don’t get your hopes up again this time, Sarah.  You know better than this. Your numbers just aren’t what they should be. And it would take a miracle for …”

She forced herself to stop thinking about the doctor’s “miracle” speech again. “Fuck you, Doctor Flannery,” she wailed, “this is my third ‘miracle’ and who are you to take it away from me?!!?”

She labored to pull herself upright.  Lightheaded but determined, she dropped to the floor and began crawling, phone in hand, down the seemingly endless hallway to the bathroom.  She stopped only once to catch her breath but, feeling the waves intensify through her gut, she summoned the strength she needed to drag herself the remaining ten feet.

She felt the phone buzz in her hand as she crossed the threshold into the bathroom. The message on the screen said, “Landed early. On way now. Hang on, babe.”

She stared at the screen until it turned black.  And she shook with sobs as she felt the all-too-familiar first drop of blood begin to trail down her leg.


My New BFF is Alec Baldwin

He answered, you guys!

A mere eight hours after my last post (A Letter to my Dear Friend, Alec Baldwin) … plus a week’s worth of tweets from myself and others (you people kick ass, by the way) … he finally answered.

Here’s the tweet that finally drew him in:

MeJust sitting at my girl’s dance class. Two hours of my book, my laptop & my Twitter account. Whatcha doing?

And his pithy reply:

Alec – What else? Working.

Well, no. I never said he sent me an epistle but since I was willing to accept “OMG! F off!” I considered this tweet a victory.

Need proof?


Anyway, all is right with the world again. Alec and I will probably be lunching at a popular hot spot in town this weekend if you’re looking for me. I’ll tell him you said hi.

Also, a special thanks to my Twitter friends @Guapowitz, @JuliesMusings, @SmokieMeats, @stnkyferit, @dp90amato and @wmccannon for helping out with the tweets as well as to the surprisingly large number of others who sent me ideas for their content.

After all … it takes a village to stalk a celebrity.


The Disney Trip with my Kids – A Vacation in Tweets

Today’s Weight … 123.2

Yes, that’s right.  We’re up. Almost three pounds.  I blame Mardi Gras. And the fact that Disney World had cheese far more readily available than I expected.  And fried snacks. That I personally didn’t order. But my kids did and then didn’t finish. Little rats.  And me, being the green-living environmentalist, not wanting to waste food and all, well … fine, fine. I’m back on the stupid, low-cal, fat-free horse.  Mmmmm …. horse.

Don’t get it? Check this post.

In the interest of sheer laziness (my LEAP for the DAY), I give you a very abbreviated version of my recent family jaunt to Disney World in Orlando, Florida with much of my girl’s 4th grade class. You have to admit … reposting (only my favorite) tweets from the trip is a geniusly-brilliant way of fulling my Leap to Laziness for the Day.

Now boarding flight to Orlando. Burly men with rabid dogs guarding my house. Plus land mines everywhere. Rob at your own risk.

Pushing it with phone. Me and @alecbaldwin. Powering off …

Landed. Call your mothers and tell them we’re okay.

How long do you give me ’til I take out a ceramic shelf of ‘priceless’ figurines with my backpack?

Why MAKE a reservation if you’re not going to KEEP the reservation?!!? Come on, Mexico!

Headed to Animal Kingdom to scare the crap out of the kids for a first ride on Everest.

And now my family is on the River Rapids ride. I’m hanging back. I don’t do wet rides. Except Splash Mountain.

How hungry must I be to be coveting my neighbor’s corn dog?

The large Diet Coke was a really stupid idea. Wonder how many adults have peed themselves on Space Mountain?

Use ’em or lose ’em. Bladder, don’t fail me now.


The seagulls here have massively big balls. And I mean that figuratively. Or is it metaphorically?

What I mean is that these damned birds are trying to snatch food right out of our hands.

Who knew seagulls liked churros?

Stupid rain.


The wind is so strong it blew over a full metal garbage can. LOUD crash. Shouldn’t this shit be bolted down?

Taking cover in a souvenir store. Bet Disney planned this storm.

Oh-Em-Gee. I could eat a horse. I wonder if they’ll be serving it at the food court.

My kid actually just said … “Are we there yet?” I am living the dream.

We’re about to become the Donner Party. #starving

Dave looks like a drumstick. #starving

I never realized how delicious my kids look. Is that wrong? #starving

Okay, fine. It’s VERY wrong. But I am STARVING!

Chicken sandwich, by the way. My kids are safe …

Just went ‘backstage’ in Haunted Mansion. Could’ve reached out and touched ghosts in ballroom scene. Very cool.

The SUPER pass – What you get when your ride breaks down. Good for ANY ride.


Oxymoron? (It’s okay. It’s my people.)




That is one big ass ball.


My feet. They are on fire.

No fruit or vegetables for the last 48 hours. This is going to wreak havoc on me internally.


Okay, my kids are starting to pick up on Song of the South’s racism.

Drinking through World Showcase with a dozen or so grown-ups.

If we count as couples, we’ve already conquered Mexico, France, England & Norway …

And Germany …

And Italy …

France. My order … Vouvray, Beaujolais & Pinot Noir …

I gotta sit down.

Singing @neildiamond very loudly.

Why didn’t anyone tell me what a bad idea the whole drinking through the countries idea was? #hangover

Leaving Hoop-de-doo. Last time I came I was puked on. Twice. Only once by my own child. Feeling lucky.

Our parking valet is named Elvis. And he’s from Tupelo, Mississippi.


Riding Tower of Terror alone. Lines down. Can’t resist.

Now riding Rock ‘n’ Rollercoaster. Creepy single rider. Again.

Fine. We bought into the pin trading phenomenon.

My boy just met David Robinson at the ESPN Zone on the Boardwalk.

I’m really wishing my last name was Disney right about now.

Um, I’m SO not getting on the scale tomorrow. And you can’t make me.

Security has never smelled footier.

“I taste pickles.” – my kid, walking through Orlando Airport, not eating or having recently eaten pickles

Where’s @alecbaldwin? My flight’s taking off and I want to play Words with Friends.