Tag Archives: odnt kleinpeter dairy chronicles


Haven’t kept up with the ODNT Kleinpeter Dairy Chronicles? These links should get you up to speed.

Today’s post is in reply to my last letter to Mr. Kleinpeter posted yesterday on ODNT.

Dear Michele,

WOW!! You guys are borderline insane!!

I feel right at home with all of this … and where in the world did someone find the old Kleinpeter commercial???

The girl who did the voice over, way back then, is now our Marketing Consultant!!! I sent this to her, and she is going to have a calf!!!

Two things really stuck out in my mind:

One – Why does organic milk last so long? Because it is heated up to a really high temperature (ultrapasteurized). Makes the milk last for 3 months. Why?  So they can transport it across the country from the manufacturer to the customer. Disadvantage? Unfortunately, it alters the milk protein structure such that the milk passes through the small intestine and is not absorbed there, which is counterproductive to good health. Organic, healthy. Ultrapasteurized, unhealthy. Why do they do this to organic milk? The cows are in California so they can’t get the milk to you still in date without doing it. Ugh.

Two – And MOST important!! Someone suggested us naming a Kleinpeter Calf after you, Michele. Well, here it is!! Michele was born on 5/8 and is a beautiful young Holstein calf, female of course. We don’t put the actual ear tag in for another 2 months because their ears are so tender at this age.

And, yes, we do name every calf born at Kleinpeter Farms. We have 1,300 cows there, and they are not “just” numbers to us. They all have awesome names, like “Michele” now.

How about that??


Jeff Kleinpeter
Kleinpeter Farms Dairy, L.L.C.


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You guys, I have a COW named after me!

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That’s way better than Acupuncturist, Televangelist, Global Inter-Office Specialized Communications Manager or any of the other crap I was going to try to pull off at my reunion tonight.

Thanks, Mr. K. You made my week. Oh, and my daughter wants to meet the calf. So, don’t go doing anything crazy with her. I guess at a DAIRY farm a cow is pretty safe … for a while.

Gosh, I hope it doesn’t get too confusing with two Micheles around here. Tell you what. From now on, when you write in to the blog, please be sure to specify whether you are addressing HUMAN Michele or BOVINE Michele. Otherwise, it could get preeeeeetty awkward.


The Kleinpeter Dairy Chronicles continued …

When we last saw our hero, he was just getting back from the beach. Read on for more of the ODNT Kleinpeter Dairy Chronicles with a big mystery to be revealed … just in time for my reunion …. tomorrow!

Hi, Mr. K!

It’s great hearing from you again. And I’m glad to read that you got some much needed respite from work. We all need these little moments to stay afloat in life, right? Just curious … in all of the funny stories you shared with your old pals … did you happen to mention that you’re a superhero of sorts on a crazy woman’s blog? You really need to come check out your laudatory comments. You’ve become a bit of a legend. I’ve written several posts about Kleinpeter to date but it was my original letter to you that won a little contest. Click the following link and check out 4th place. (Yes. 4th place DOES count for something. At least that’s what my mom says. Unfortunately, probably more often than she’d like.)
And, to make things easy for you, I’m including all of the past Kleinpeter posts right here … for easy clicking:
From the second post on is where your praise starts rolling in. And, honestly, if someone sent me a link to a site where I could read excessive extolment about myself, I’m pretty sure I’d get so engrossed in it that my kids would go hungry that week. Sadly … to date … they have yet to miss one single meal. Sigh.
Anyway, like I said before, should you ever need a slightly irreverent copywriter, I’m your man … or woman, as it were. And I really like milk. I think that should be a job qualification, don’t you?