Tag Archives: stupid facebook quizzes

How I Spent My “Last Day” on Earth (Spoiler: I didn’t die.)


So I didn’t die yesterday. What does Facebook know anyway? Still, it was a  crazy way to spend a day. Wondering hour by hour if my number was suddenly going to come up. How did I spend my projected death day, you ask? Did I cower under the covers with my hands taped in oven mitts to prevent an accidental scratch that could result in a nasty infection that could kill me?

Hell to the No.

You guys know me better than that. I am a HUGE daredevil. Far be it from me to let fear get in the way of leading MY life on MY terms. I wasn’t going to let it slow me down for even a minute. Here are just a few of the things I took on yesterday … death day be damned.

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1. Drove recklessly. Well, I was late for a surprise birthday lunch for a friend so I may have been leadfooting at least a little.

2. Ate carelessly. Let’s see. Because yesterday’s activities included the birthday lunch, my daily intake included things like chocolate cake, pastry, fatty cheeses, butter, artificial sweetener and bacon. (Fine. It was turkey bacon.)

3. Ran with scissors. I should probably mention that the scissors were in Vivien’s school pencil pouch at the time. But I was running. Because I was hurrying to wrap a present for the birthday lunch.

4. Operated a branding iron. Actually, it was more of a flat iron. For hair. But I’ll still bet it could leave a pretty good mark on the skin if necessary.

5. Handled a razor. Hello? Hairy legs. Just as important as the clean underwear rule if I was going to die that day.

6. Played with fire. What? I lit a seasonal candle. That’s fire. And I enjoyed it. So it was playing.

7. Wielded a knife. Does it matter that it was a butter knife? No, it doesn’t. It’s still a knife. And I WIELDED it.

8. Experimented with drugs. I threw back five consecutive pills yesterday without so much as taking a breath. Never mind the fact that two were vitamins, two Midol and the last an herbal supplement.

9. Skydived. Actually, I jumped down from the kitchen footstool I was using to get a holiday cookbook. But I could have twisted an ankle.

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10. Grappled with wild animals. Yes. He does SO count.

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Looks like I’ll be around to dumbass (and make up my own verbs) for another day.

(Whew! That was a close one.)

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The Stupid Facebook Quiz Result that Actually Bothered Me


If you’ve ever played around on Facebook for even a minute, you’ve likely taken at least one mindless quiz to determine what Saved by the Bell character you are or what type of cheese most complements your skin tone. Have I ever taken one? Sure. Just a few though. Because most of them look pretty stupid and I don’t always identify with the parameters (Game of Thrones characters, aura colors, etc.) being measured.

Until I ran across one designed to determine the date of my death.

I can’t remember who shared it first but he or she had the year 2056 as the result. The quiz was trending so I saw lots of death dates in years like 2037, 2042 and even 2076. I was in Memphis visiting Graceland with my mom and Vivien at the time waiting to get something to eat when I pressed “Start the Quiz” (or whatever the stupid button said).

Imagine my surprise when I got THIS result.

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If I’m being honest, I’ll admit that it freaked me out a little. Of course, it also embarrassed me that it freaked me out at all. I mentioned it to my mom and she did exactly the right thing. She didn’t make fun of me. But she did assure me that these things are all crap. Which I know. So why in the hell did this ridiculousness bother me for even a second?

Maybe it’s because I’d just learned I had less than three months to live.

Maybe it’s because I wouldn’t even be making it to Thanksgiving. (Dammit. I usually host Thanksgiving!)

Or maybe it’s because the quiz didn’t even respect me enough to give me a cause of death. “Due to some health problem?” Thanks, Quiz Makers. How do I know what habits I should start/stop doing to prevent my looming demise?

But it’s all poppycock, rubbish, hogwash …. right? RIGHT?!!? (faking smile)

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What do you guys think? Should I live the next five days as though they’re my last? Or should I be ashamed I even wrote this post?

What would YOU do if you only had five days left on Earth?

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