Dear Nickelodeon,
Re: Programming Department
Re: Advertising Department
Someone in your department needs to be fired. Or at least have his XBox privileges taken away for a week. Picture it … my ten-year-old daughter and I are curled up on the sofa enjoying the wholesome, 80s, Olsen-ness of Full House together. Then the show cuts to a series of commercials … running shoes, Flo from Progressive, Cox Communications … and then this one:
As soon as it began playing, my daughter screamed in fear and pulled the throw blanket over her head. While I was frantically grabbing for the remote trying to find the stupid mute button. And then, at the next break, it all aired AGAIN! Which prompts me to ask you two questions:
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What the (BLEEP! See how easy censoring can be) were you thinking?!!?
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May I have your department head’s home number so that I may call him/her at 2am tonight when my daughter wakes up traumatized by the terrifying images she saw on your network?
Re: My Reply from You
Please do not ignore my email. I am posting this entire letter on my blog (http://olddognewtits.com) and am sure that everyone who reads it will want to hear your explanation just as much as I do.
Anxiously awaiting your reply,