Tag Archives: nickelodeon

Hey! Nickelodeon! Are you guys all in the shower? Pick up the phone!

Remember the email I sent to Nickelodeon last week? If not, click here to read it first. I can’t believe they haven’t responded. And I really can’t believe that I can’t believe it. Big corporations like this one disappoint me all the time. I guess they can’t all be Kleinpeter Dairy Farms, right?

Anyway, I think they underestimate the gum-stuck-to-the-bottom-of-your-shoe-even-after-you-curse-and-scrape-your-foot-repeatedly-on-the-curbishness that is me. Which is why I got out some paper … and an envelope … and a stamp for round two. It was exHAUSTing! And I wrote a letter and gave it to my MAILMAN! Meaning my letter was printed on actual paper and will be driven from New Orleans to NYC in a truck with that menacing eagle profile on it.

But, as usual, I digress. Here’s what I sent Nickelodeon today.

March 6, 2013

Nickelodeon / MTV Networks

1515 Broadway

New York, NY 10036

Dear Nickelodeon,

One week ago today, I emailed your company about a problem I had with one of the (bone-chillingly inappropriate) ads that ran during a Full House episode I was watching on your network with my young daughter. But you ignored me. Following that, I tweeted you about it, ad nauseum. Emphasis on nauseum. But you ignored me. Others who read my email, which I posted on my blog located at http://olddognewtits.com, also tweeted you about your error in judgment. But you ignored them.

For the record, although my above blog link appears here on this paper in blue and would seem like you could click it to view my original Nickelodeon post, you can’t. And do you know why? It’s because you’ve reduced me to SNAIL MAIL. I looked all over the internet for a better email address for your organization. But the general consensus that I found was that you, as a network, mustn’t really want to be in communication with your viewers because the primary method of contact offered for you is by mailman. I guess you think most people won’t take the time to type out a letter, print it, find an envelope and a stamp and then make the arduous journey to an old-fashioned mailbox.

But you underestimated the low-technology that is me, Nickelodeon. Sure, I’m writing you right now from my Mac laptop. But I’m typing just five feet away from one of the two fully operational VCRs still in my home. To tape shows that come into my house via basic (non-digital) cable. I still listen to FM radio in my car. I still use a top-loading washing machine. And I can still write a letter and send it to you by carrier pigeon a proud employee of the USPS.

And, this time, I want an answer.

For your convenience, in addition to this letter, I’ve also enclosed a copy of my original email since you obviously “never saw it.” Why am I still pursuing you? Because, just two nights ago, my daughter had another nightmare. And I’m wondering …

Where were YOU at one o’clock in the morning when she was awake and scared and crying about your crappy ad choice?

In summary, I work from home and can be a real pain in the ass when I’m ignored. Please respond … and tell me WHY you felt this ad was appropriate for child viewing … or that you’re SORRY … or that someone was FIRED. And then send me his or her picture. Remember, I’ll be posting this letter on the blog, too.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to represent yourself instead of looking like an oily politician who evades the hard questions?

Michele Robert Poche

Clearly, Nickelodeon loves hearing from their viewers.

So you guys should feel free to call, email or write them as often as you like. Their Twitter handle is @NickelodeonTV. And I will so keep you posted.


The Grievance Letter I Just HAD to Write at 11:24pm Tonight

Dear Nickelodeon,

Re: Programming Department

My kids have been big fans of your work for years. And, if you promise not to tell, I’ll even admit that I love Drake & Josh and iCarly and (cough) can quote the characters as well as any kid out there. Lately, my daughter and I have been watching old episodes of Full House together. She watches it like it’s brand new and I watch it for the nostalgia. Yes, I know. That’s the whole point, right? Anyway, kudos on the decision to air a show my ten-year-old can watch (excitedly) in lieu of so much of the other reality trash being aired simultaneously on the competing networks. It’s a good feeling to know that I can pop in and out of the room when needed and she won’t be exposed to anything inappropriate.

Re: Advertising Department

Someone in your department needs to be fired. Or at least have his XBox privileges taken away for a week. Picture it … my ten-year-old daughter and I are curled up on the sofa enjoying the wholesome, 80s, Olsen-ness of Full House together. Then the show cuts to a series of commercials … running shoes, Flo from Progressive, Cox Communications … and then this one:

As soon as it began playing, my daughter screamed in fear and pulled the throw blanket over her head. While I was frantically grabbing for the remote trying to find the stupid mute button. And then, at the next break, it all aired AGAIN! Which prompts me to ask you two questions:

  1. What the (BLEEP! See how easy censoring can be) were you thinking?!!?

  2. May I have your department head’s home number so that I may call him/her at 2am tonight when my daughter wakes up traumatized by the terrifying images she saw on your network?

Re: My Reply from You

Please do not ignore my email. I am posting this entire letter on my blog (http://olddognewtits.com) and am sure that everyone who reads it will want to hear your explanation just as much as I do.

Anxiously awaiting your reply,

Michele R. Poche